Oct 17, 2006 23:26
Nana's grave is in a beautiful location and I'm so happy about that. I'm also happy about how she looked at the wake. Before she died she was so skinny and pale and her hair wasn't done and she just didn't look like herself. The funeral home people really made her look like she did when she was healthy. I miss her, but I'm happy she's no longer suffering.
On the note of funerals, I feel like I would want to be cremated. I would have my ashes scattered in the ocean off of a boat while my family partied on it. It would be more like a celebration of life rather than a mourning of death. I mean don't get me wrong, mourning is natural and part of someone's coping process and I totally understand that. But I think that people can mourn at a wake and on their own and everything and then go out and be happy about the memories they have.
Poor Grampa is so lonely. He was talking about how he kept waking up at night and would turn over and get scared when she wasn't there. My Grampa has never been a man to share his feelings and this was so different that in itself, it was shocking. I felt like he felt as though he needed to be strong at the wake. He seemed like he would just break down any second but he never did. He kept talking to Nana though, telling her that he would be along soon to see her and that just killed me watching it. I can't imagine loving someone for so long and then they're just gone.
Mourning takes a lot out of a person. I'm absolutely exhausted. I haven't done any work for this week yet and tomorrow's Wednesday. It's 11:30 and I'm going to bed. I should have gone to bed awhile ago but I just wasn't ready. Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day.
<3 <3 <3