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RAPE
A Fanfic About Rape
(In Which There Is Rape)
Chapter 8 - Rape: It's Like a Bad Fanfiction Cliché
These days, Il Palazzo had a considerable amount of difficulty maintaining the positive demeanor of an ACROSS leader. In the blink of an eye, he had lost of his two most alive subordinates, his unborn child, and his will to conquer. Oh, he kept going through the motions. The world still needed his guidance, and it wasn't as though he had anything better to do. He continued to recruit new ACROSS members and pen new missions. It just didn't feel like it meant anything anymore.
Il Palazzo sighed. Maybe he should let the big-headed lab mouse have it after all.
"I think she's dead, Lord Il Palazzo," said Hyatt, snapping him back to something resembling reality.
"Hmm?" He peered down at the pit, from whence there were no screams. "Ah, yes, the new hire. It seems as though this one is not attempting the world record for holding one's breath, either. How many has it been this week, Hyatt?"
She looked thoughtful. "Do you mean all of them, or just those consigned to the watery depths?"
Il Palazzo groaned. He really was going to have to find a capable replacement for at least Excel. Perhaps a nice robot; something competent. "Never mind," he said. "It is better to forget our grief and move on."
"If only Senior Excel and Ms. Elgala were still here..."
"In any event, they are not," he replied brusquely, "and I would advise you apply the same advice to them. Do you have any questions regarding today's mission?"
"No, but-"
"Then you are dismissed."
Once she left, he sat back in his throne and closed his eyes. Silence buzzed around him in the way silence ought not do, and he waited for the voices in his head to kick in. They would probably want to argue with him about the fate of his subordinates. He, personally, felt the subject was getting a little old.
"YO HO HO AND A HEIL IL PALAZZO!"
Oh, joy. Now the voices even sounded like his subordinates.
"I found them outside the door," said Hyatt.
He opened his eyes and saw before him Excel and Elgala, decked out in swashbuckling gear and wearing the finest of hats. Never one to be caught off guard, he said, "You're late. You're very, very late. Where have you been all this time?"
"Let me begin, sir, with a profuse apology regarding our prolonged absence-"
"I, Elgala, would apologize as well, despite it being no fault of mine-"
"Though I regretted every moment away from you, the black magic woman told me to go to the end of the world-"
"As the story actually starts with my untimely and inelegant demise-"
"Unfortunately, he was not to be found at Ohtori Academy, and thus my mission required the commandeering of a boat-"
"You see, it all started one night..." (When we were binge drinking-)
"Aye, the sea were treacherous an' deadly to me ship an' me crew, which consisted of Menchi and a return cameo of the wooden dummy-"
"And somehow it turned into a knife-throwing competition-"
"Thankfully, my lord's training has made me ready for the big waterfall, and there were only minor casualties-"
"And the next thing I knew, I, Elgala, was in Davy Jones' locker, left only to a beautiful girl's hallucinations-"
Il Palazzo pulled the rope, smiling slightly at the sound of a satisfying splash.
"B-B-B-B-BODIES! THERE ARE BODIES! DOZAAAAAEEEEEEEMOOONNNN!!"
"I, ELGALA, AM SHOCKED AND TERRIFIED! HOLD ME, SENIOR!"
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU DOUBLE AS A FLOTATION DEVICE!"
"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON, SENIOR! TERRIBLE!!"
They crawled up in a swimmer's embrace. Il Palazzo had always admired their spirit of teamwork. "So you had a productive adventure," he summarized. "I am glad that we are able to be reunited in a relatively intact fashion."
"As are we, Lord Il Palazzo!" cried Excel. "Though that brings up a pretty interesting question about how you managed to revive, and indeed, why we went on such an arduous journey if you were in fact in such a state of vitality, not that we're not completely and utterly grateful and overjoyed to see the glory of your visage!"
Ignoring her completely, Il Palazzo asked, "Have you been eating well, Excel?"
Excel froze, her jolly hat flying away in a sudden breeze. She said nothing, but Elgala grinned evilly. (Wait til Lord Il Palazzo finds out you're not just fa~t~) she thought, though the end of the second tilde was cut off by the sudden appearance of knuckles up her nose.
"You see, Lord Il Palazzo, it seems there was an incident involving the immaculate conception of your Excel-"
(Immaculate? Immaculate? I, Elgala, am shocked to hear that she even knows the word-)
Before they could claw each other's eyes out, Il Palazzo pulled the rope. He took advantage of their absence to consider their statements, or what little of their statements he had not tuned out. By the time they had once more resurfaced, he was laughing. "Excel is pregnant," he said, delighted with his own genius. "That makes much more sense!"
His subordinates exchanged nervous glances, and after a long moment, joined in with awkward laughter of their own. Il Palazzo's chortles ended abruptly, and though the smile lingered on his lips, his voice was colder than the grave.
"Get out of my base."
BAD END
A Fanfic About Rape
(In Which There Is Rape)
Chapter 8 - Rape: It's Like a Bad Fanfiction Cliché
These days, Il Palazzo had a considerable amount of difficulty maintaining the positive demeanor of an ACROSS leader. In the blink of an eye, he had lost of his two most alive subordinates, his unborn child, and his will to conquer. Oh, he kept going through the motions. The world still needed his guidance, and it wasn't as though he had anything better to do. He continued to recruit new ACROSS members and pen new missions. It just didn't feel like it meant anything anymore.
Il Palazzo sighed. Maybe he should let the big-headed lab mouse have it after all.
"I think she's dead, Lord Il Palazzo," said Hyatt, snapping him back to something resembling reality.
"Hmm?" He peered down at the pit, from whence there were no screams. "Ah, yes, the new hire. It seems as though this one is not attempting the world record for holding one's breath, either. How many has it been this week, Hyatt?"
She looked thoughtful. "Do you mean all of them, or just those consigned to the watery depths?"
Il Palazzo groaned. He really was going to have to find a capable replacement for at least Excel. Perhaps a nice robot; something competent. "Never mind," he said. "It is better to forget our grief and move on."
"If only Senior Excel and Ms. Elgala were still here..."
"In any event, they are not," he replied brusquely, "and I would advise you apply the same advice to them. Do you have any questions regarding today's mission?"
"No, but-"
"Then you are dismissed."
Once she left, he sat back in his throne and closed his eyes. Silence buzzed around him in the way silence ought not do, and he waited for the voices in his head to kick in. They would probably want to argue with him about the fate of his subordinates. He, personally, felt the subject was getting a little old.
"YO HO HO AND A HEIL IL PALAZZO!"
Oh, joy. Now the voices even sounded like his subordinates.
"I found them outside the door," said Hyatt.
He opened his eyes and saw before him Excel and Elgala, decked out in swashbuckling gear and wearing the finest of hats. Never one to be caught off guard, he said, "You're late. You're very, very late. Where have you been all this time?"
"Let me begin, sir, with a profuse apology regarding our prolonged absence-"
"I, Elgala, would apologize as well, despite it being no fault of mine-"
"Though I regretted every moment away from you, the black magic woman told me to go to the end of the world-"
"As the story actually starts with my untimely and inelegant demise-"
"Unfortunately, he was not to be found at Ohtori Academy, and thus my mission required the commandeering of a boat-"
"You see, it all started one night..." (When we were binge drinking-)
"Aye, the sea were treacherous an' deadly to me ship an' me crew, which consisted of Menchi and a return cameo of the wooden dummy-"
"And somehow it turned into a knife-throwing competition-"
"Thankfully, my lord's training has made me ready for the big waterfall, and there were only minor casualties-"
"And the next thing I knew, I, Elgala, was in Davy Jones' locker, left only to a beautiful girl's hallucinations-"
Il Palazzo pulled the rope, smiling slightly at the sound of a satisfying splash.
"B-B-B-B-BODIES! THERE ARE BODIES! DOZAAAAAEEEEEEEMOOONNNN!!"
"I, ELGALA, AM SHOCKED AND TERRIFIED! HOLD ME, SENIOR!"
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU DOUBLE AS A FLOTATION DEVICE!"
"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON, SENIOR! TERRIBLE!!"
They crawled up in a swimmer's embrace. Il Palazzo had always admired their spirit of teamwork. "So you had a productive adventure," he summarized. "I am glad that we are able to be reunited in a relatively intact fashion."
"As are we, Lord Il Palazzo!" cried Excel. "Though that brings up a pretty interesting question about how you managed to revive, and indeed, why we went on such an arduous journey if you were in fact in such a state of vitality, not that we're not completely and utterly grateful and overjoyed to see the glory of your visage!"
Ignoring her completely, Il Palazzo asked, "Have you been eating well, Excel?"
Excel froze, her jolly hat flying away in a sudden breeze. She said nothing, but Elgala grinned evilly. (Wait til Lord Il Palazzo finds out you're not just fa~t~) she thought, though the end of the second tilde was cut off by the sudden appearance of knuckles up her nose.
"You see, Lord Il Palazzo, it seems there was an incident involving the immaculate conception of your Excel-"
(Immaculate? Immaculate? I, Elgala, am shocked to hear that she even knows the word-)
Before they could claw each other's eyes out, Il Palazzo pulled the rope. He took advantage of their absence to consider their statements, or what little of their statements he had not tuned out. By the time they had once more resurfaced, he was laughing. "Excel is pregnant," he said, delighted with his own genius. "That makes much more sense!"
His subordinates exchanged nervous glances, and after a long moment, joined in with awkward laughter of their own. Il Palazzo's chortles ended abruptly, and though the smile lingered on his lips, his voice was colder than the grave.
"Get out of my base."
BAD END