Glee fic: I´ll keep you at arms lenght (so that you can´t touch my heart)
I´ll keep you at arms length (so that you can´t touch my heart).
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just like to play a bit.
Summary: She looks so dejected that had Rachel been some other girl, and had Kurt been some other guy, he might feel the need to hug her.
Author notes; I wanted some Kurt fic, but everybody seems bussy with rachel/finn or emma/will (not that I´m complaining, keep the good work guys) that I decided to write one myself. It did end up being very rachel/finn, but with some kurt/finn undertones. Oh, this is my first fic in english ever, so there may be some grammar mistakes. I hope everybody enjoys it tough.
It started when Mr. Shuester insisted for him to sing Happy Ending.
“But its a tenor song. Finn should do it.”
“We can raise the tone, Rachel. I don’t think Finn can hit some of the higher notes.”
“I can coach him after school, I don’t mind.”
“We’ll let Kurt take this one. You can help him, instead.”
And that’s why he is stuck in a deserted classroom after-hours, with Rachel yelling that the last note needs to be higher and at the same time lower, somehow. Its driving Kurt up the walls.
“I don’t even get why we are doing this song, is so melancholic.”
“Not every music can be Walking on Sunshine” Kurt digs meanly.
The look of hurt that crosses Rachel features almost makes him regret it. But then her eyes harden and she is business as usual.
“If we had to have a dark song at least it could have been Mad World, like Tina suggested.”
Kurt does a whole body eye-roll , and puts one hand in his waist, in practiced, exaggerated, mannerism.
“Honey, I know you just wanted your boy to sing. But we are stuck together for now.”
Kurt had got it. From the very first time Finn had come to rehearsal, and sung Grease, Rachel had been gone. A hot boy who could sing? Kurt imagined it was pretty much what Prince Charming meant to her. He would bet a thousand bucks her favorite Disney prince was Philip.
Not that Kurt could blame her. He is indeed very hot and has that whole heart of gold thing going on. But not very bright, he’s afraid. Finn was the one who gave into peer pressure, that hazed and annoyed but mostly because all the cool kids were doing it. He was the one that often didn’t let things get out of hand. Kurt had not forgiven him or anything, but it was a positive trait. Rachel, on the other hand, seemed all about the forgiveness.
She blushes but keeps her eyes trained in his face.
“He is not my boy, he has a girlfriend. A blonde, cheerleader, girlfriend who hates me.”
Kurt thinks he would hate the girl who could be steeling his boyfriend too. Because frankly, as if Rachel´s crush wasn’t obvious enough Finn had seemed to take a likening of her too. Kurt had seen the both of them sharing snacks near the lockers one afternoon, Finn with his back leaning against a wall, and she, comically shorter, berating him for something or another. But it wasn’t the usual super-intense Rachel Berry speech Kurt and the rest of the glee club had grew accustumed to, it seemed like she was more giving suggestions, while Finn nodded now and then. Until he smiled and stole her bags of chips. She got angry for like a second and then smiled back. And when they strolled along, Finn´s hand lazily resting on the back of her neck, Kurt thought he had never seen Rachel´s gait so relaxed before.
If he was going to be honest to himself the episode did give something of a burning in his stomach and his chest felt heavy for a few minutes. And maybe, just maybe, he was a little too impatient with her in the last few days.
“But you two hang out outside of glee, right?”
“Only when Quinn is doing other stuff. Other Christian stuff. Or cheerleading stuff. I don’t understand, is not like cheerleaders are real performers.”
Kurt doesn’t understand the fascination either, although he looooves Bring it On. But she looks so dejected that had Rachel been some other girl, and had Kurt been some other guy, he might feel the need to hug her.
“At least you are a girl.”
He doesn’t know what impression that statement gives her, and what the hell she thinks of him now but at least it seems to shut her up for a second. She reaches her hand and all of the sudden he gets the impression she’s imagining she is the Galinda to his Elphaba. He does not needs to be included in her delusions, so he frowns and taps her hand away.
She gets very, very quiet and very, very still and Kurt wonders if he will have to shake her at some point. For now he is enjoying the silence.
“You know, I have two gay dads.”
“Yeah, I saw it on your Myspace page.” The moment it leaves his mouth he regrets it. Being on glee club forced Kurt to spend time with people he would never consider otherwise. And yeah, it might be nice that a cute football player is on speaking terms with him, and the bullying had decreased considerably (Finn’s fault, probably). But that doesn’t mean they all have to be friends, or even acknowledge they had a life outside school.
It didn’t meant he was going to snoop on some girl personal videos just to be awed at how well she can sing, and maybe learn a thing or two. Or wonder how cool she could be with some things (she liked all types of music, thrived under pressure, didn’t turned in to a pile of goo every time Finn touched her…) while being panicky , annoying and clingy with others (she was a drama queen, and not the fun kind). She needed others approval so badly. And Kurt was not into being no one’s support system.
“You did? When? Why? What did you think?”
He must look like a deer caught in headlights upon her eager face. He groans and tries to deflect but she does not get a clue. Because is true, he might have post some mean comments anonymously on a few of her videos, and yeah , it was before he really knew Rachel, but it doesn’t mean he likes feeling guilty about it.
“You are a great singer…”
She looks smug for about two seconds. “But?”
Kurt had learned in the last few weeks to be kind towards Rachel. She was not as clueless and above it all as she might seems. But then again if no one (except Mr. Shue, but that was just the way he was wired) , would be kind to him, why should he extend such niceties?
“But… desperate much?”
She lifts an eyebrow and recites in detached, trained voice: “I do it just to keep my talent alive and glowing.”
He scoffs.
“Sure you do.”
Rachel tells him they should try the song again, so they do it, but she lost her spark, and doesn’t even criticizes when he screw ups on purpose. So of course he has to fix it. Just think about something that will distract her.
“So, hum, what’s your favorite musical?”
Ah, there it is, the maniac glean is back. Great, just fucking great, Kurt and his big softie heart.
“In alphabetical order? A New Brain, Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick, Abbacadabra, About Face, About Town…
“I mean your favorite favorite. One.”
It feels like Rachel is splitting in half, like her body wants to go one way and her head another. It amuses Kurt how this is difficult to her.
“Le Miz.”
Kurt would have smirked if it wasn’t exactly what he expected.
“Be more predictable, please.”
Rachel gets that stubborn look on her face. The one in which she describes how many dance contests she won before the age of five, and so how can’t you just get this simple step?
“It’s a classic, and On my Own is perfect for my voice. And anyways, what’s yours?”
“Cabaret” he says matter-of-factly, but is not helping his case here. He would like to be less cliché but there is just something about early Liza that is unbeatable.
She knows and give a triumphant smile, that turns into a warm “I get it” smile. Against his will, Kurt feels the corners of his mouth turning upside.
Is sort of a nice moment.
“What do you think is Finn’s favorite? I bet he likes Spring Awakening. For the power ballads.”
“You are kidding, right? If he does have a favorite musical is The Sound of Music. The movie.”
Such stark sadness touches her face that Kurt almost falls back. It does impress him regularly how much emotion she shows in an expression. Maybe she was born for the theatre after all.
“I guess he is never gonna be that guy, will he? He is never going to understand why is so important to me. To you. He is just gonna be the quarterback that likes to sing.”
Kurt rolls his eyes, and yes, for good measure, touches her shoulder.
“Listen, until a few weeks ago Finn thought his calling in life was to be a somewhat nice bully, who’s high school time would be the high point of his life. He would get married young, have lots of children and get fat. Now he is all about giving inspirational speeches and obsessing about harmonies. So who knows what he is going to be tomorrow? Maybe having a favorite musical is exactly what he needs.”
It seems like Rachel is ready to hug him, so he steps back a bit. He does not needs to wrinkle his shirt. Kurt doesn´t even understand the recent developments. He is not the type that gives pep talks, but it seems like he just did.
“And look at least his girlfriend have one setback.”
“What?”
“A purity ring.”
Her smile is genuine and face cracking, and Kurt doesn’t really know what to do with a happy Rachel outside the stage. Maybe she’ll start singing.
“She doesn’t wear a purity ring, Kurt.”
“It’s a metaphor, Rachel.”
“And metaphors are important.” She answers like is the most natural thing in the world. Man, this girl have issues.
Kurt is not sure how, but in the course of a few hours, Rachel became something more than a caricature. They are like each other in some ways. And she does get it.
He suddenly remembers one day in practice that the girls were practicing harmonies, so he, Artie and Finn were put aside to themselves. Artie was strumming something in his guitar, Finn was sitting, legs spread in front of him, Kurt just staring ahead without thinking about anything specific.
“Rachel is pretty cute, right?” Finn had voiced, like he honestly couldn’t figure this out himself. His dimness could be endearing.
“She is gorgeous.” Artie responded without a trace of irony, or longing. Finn nodded and smiled. Then he looked at Kurt expectantly.
Kurt must have stared at him with an expression of “you must be joking” for what felt like a million years. But yet, it didn’t budge. Not bright at all.
“If your type is psychotic control-freak, I guess so.”
At that Finn had laughed hard and left alone.
Thinking now maybe he was somewhat right. Rachel was cute, for a crazy girl, that is.
“Hey, Kurt, nice work. With the song I mean. But don´t think I didn´t notice those mistakes you did in the chorus. You are better than this. And, hey if you want to hang out with Finn, outside glee, maybe you should try out for the football team. I heard (Translation: Finn had told her) they need a kicker.”
His heart did a somersault and he tossed his hair dramatically.
“Maybe I will.”
“I was kidding.”
“I wasn’t."
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just like to play a bit.
Summary: She looks so dejected that had Rachel been some other girl, and had Kurt been some other guy, he might feel the need to hug her.
Author notes; I wanted some Kurt fic, but everybody seems bussy with rachel/finn or emma/will (not that I´m complaining, keep the good work guys) that I decided to write one myself. It did end up being very rachel/finn, but with some kurt/finn undertones. Oh, this is my first fic in english ever, so there may be some grammar mistakes. I hope everybody enjoys it tough.
It started when Mr. Shuester insisted for him to sing Happy Ending.
“But its a tenor song. Finn should do it.”
“We can raise the tone, Rachel. I don’t think Finn can hit some of the higher notes.”
“I can coach him after school, I don’t mind.”
“We’ll let Kurt take this one. You can help him, instead.”
And that’s why he is stuck in a deserted classroom after-hours, with Rachel yelling that the last note needs to be higher and at the same time lower, somehow. Its driving Kurt up the walls.
“I don’t even get why we are doing this song, is so melancholic.”
“Not every music can be Walking on Sunshine” Kurt digs meanly.
The look of hurt that crosses Rachel features almost makes him regret it. But then her eyes harden and she is business as usual.
“If we had to have a dark song at least it could have been Mad World, like Tina suggested.”
Kurt does a whole body eye-roll , and puts one hand in his waist, in practiced, exaggerated, mannerism.
“Honey, I know you just wanted your boy to sing. But we are stuck together for now.”
Kurt had got it. From the very first time Finn had come to rehearsal, and sung Grease, Rachel had been gone. A hot boy who could sing? Kurt imagined it was pretty much what Prince Charming meant to her. He would bet a thousand bucks her favorite Disney prince was Philip.
Not that Kurt could blame her. He is indeed very hot and has that whole heart of gold thing going on. But not very bright, he’s afraid. Finn was the one who gave into peer pressure, that hazed and annoyed but mostly because all the cool kids were doing it. He was the one that often didn’t let things get out of hand. Kurt had not forgiven him or anything, but it was a positive trait. Rachel, on the other hand, seemed all about the forgiveness.
She blushes but keeps her eyes trained in his face.
“He is not my boy, he has a girlfriend. A blonde, cheerleader, girlfriend who hates me.”
Kurt thinks he would hate the girl who could be steeling his boyfriend too. Because frankly, as if Rachel´s crush wasn’t obvious enough Finn had seemed to take a likening of her too. Kurt had seen the both of them sharing snacks near the lockers one afternoon, Finn with his back leaning against a wall, and she, comically shorter, berating him for something or another. But it wasn’t the usual super-intense Rachel Berry speech Kurt and the rest of the glee club had grew accustumed to, it seemed like she was more giving suggestions, while Finn nodded now and then. Until he smiled and stole her bags of chips. She got angry for like a second and then smiled back. And when they strolled along, Finn´s hand lazily resting on the back of her neck, Kurt thought he had never seen Rachel´s gait so relaxed before.
If he was going to be honest to himself the episode did give something of a burning in his stomach and his chest felt heavy for a few minutes. And maybe, just maybe, he was a little too impatient with her in the last few days.
“But you two hang out outside of glee, right?”
“Only when Quinn is doing other stuff. Other Christian stuff. Or cheerleading stuff. I don’t understand, is not like cheerleaders are real performers.”
Kurt doesn’t understand the fascination either, although he looooves Bring it On. But she looks so dejected that had Rachel been some other girl, and had Kurt been some other guy, he might feel the need to hug her.
“At least you are a girl.”
He doesn’t know what impression that statement gives her, and what the hell she thinks of him now but at least it seems to shut her up for a second. She reaches her hand and all of the sudden he gets the impression she’s imagining she is the Galinda to his Elphaba. He does not needs to be included in her delusions, so he frowns and taps her hand away.
She gets very, very quiet and very, very still and Kurt wonders if he will have to shake her at some point. For now he is enjoying the silence.
“You know, I have two gay dads.”
“Yeah, I saw it on your Myspace page.” The moment it leaves his mouth he regrets it. Being on glee club forced Kurt to spend time with people he would never consider otherwise. And yeah, it might be nice that a cute football player is on speaking terms with him, and the bullying had decreased considerably (Finn’s fault, probably). But that doesn’t mean they all have to be friends, or even acknowledge they had a life outside school.
It didn’t meant he was going to snoop on some girl personal videos just to be awed at how well she can sing, and maybe learn a thing or two. Or wonder how cool she could be with some things (she liked all types of music, thrived under pressure, didn’t turned in to a pile of goo every time Finn touched her…) while being panicky , annoying and clingy with others (she was a drama queen, and not the fun kind). She needed others approval so badly. And Kurt was not into being no one’s support system.
“You did? When? Why? What did you think?”
He must look like a deer caught in headlights upon her eager face. He groans and tries to deflect but she does not get a clue. Because is true, he might have post some mean comments anonymously on a few of her videos, and yeah , it was before he really knew Rachel, but it doesn’t mean he likes feeling guilty about it.
“You are a great singer…”
She looks smug for about two seconds. “But?”
Kurt had learned in the last few weeks to be kind towards Rachel. She was not as clueless and above it all as she might seems. But then again if no one (except Mr. Shue, but that was just the way he was wired) , would be kind to him, why should he extend such niceties?
“But… desperate much?”
She lifts an eyebrow and recites in detached, trained voice: “I do it just to keep my talent alive and glowing.”
He scoffs.
“Sure you do.”
Rachel tells him they should try the song again, so they do it, but she lost her spark, and doesn’t even criticizes when he screw ups on purpose. So of course he has to fix it. Just think about something that will distract her.
“So, hum, what’s your favorite musical?”
Ah, there it is, the maniac glean is back. Great, just fucking great, Kurt and his big softie heart.
“In alphabetical order? A New Brain, Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick, Abbacadabra, About Face, About Town…
“I mean your favorite favorite. One.”
It feels like Rachel is splitting in half, like her body wants to go one way and her head another. It amuses Kurt how this is difficult to her.
“Le Miz.”
Kurt would have smirked if it wasn’t exactly what he expected.
“Be more predictable, please.”
Rachel gets that stubborn look on her face. The one in which she describes how many dance contests she won before the age of five, and so how can’t you just get this simple step?
“It’s a classic, and On my Own is perfect for my voice. And anyways, what’s yours?”
“Cabaret” he says matter-of-factly, but is not helping his case here. He would like to be less cliché but there is just something about early Liza that is unbeatable.
She knows and give a triumphant smile, that turns into a warm “I get it” smile. Against his will, Kurt feels the corners of his mouth turning upside.
Is sort of a nice moment.
“What do you think is Finn’s favorite? I bet he likes Spring Awakening. For the power ballads.”
“You are kidding, right? If he does have a favorite musical is The Sound of Music. The movie.”
Such stark sadness touches her face that Kurt almost falls back. It does impress him regularly how much emotion she shows in an expression. Maybe she was born for the theatre after all.
“I guess he is never gonna be that guy, will he? He is never going to understand why is so important to me. To you. He is just gonna be the quarterback that likes to sing.”
Kurt rolls his eyes, and yes, for good measure, touches her shoulder.
“Listen, until a few weeks ago Finn thought his calling in life was to be a somewhat nice bully, who’s high school time would be the high point of his life. He would get married young, have lots of children and get fat. Now he is all about giving inspirational speeches and obsessing about harmonies. So who knows what he is going to be tomorrow? Maybe having a favorite musical is exactly what he needs.”
It seems like Rachel is ready to hug him, so he steps back a bit. He does not needs to wrinkle his shirt. Kurt doesn´t even understand the recent developments. He is not the type that gives pep talks, but it seems like he just did.
“And look at least his girlfriend have one setback.”
“What?”
“A purity ring.”
Her smile is genuine and face cracking, and Kurt doesn’t really know what to do with a happy Rachel outside the stage. Maybe she’ll start singing.
“She doesn’t wear a purity ring, Kurt.”
“It’s a metaphor, Rachel.”
“And metaphors are important.” She answers like is the most natural thing in the world. Man, this girl have issues.
Kurt is not sure how, but in the course of a few hours, Rachel became something more than a caricature. They are like each other in some ways. And she does get it.
He suddenly remembers one day in practice that the girls were practicing harmonies, so he, Artie and Finn were put aside to themselves. Artie was strumming something in his guitar, Finn was sitting, legs spread in front of him, Kurt just staring ahead without thinking about anything specific.
“Rachel is pretty cute, right?” Finn had voiced, like he honestly couldn’t figure this out himself. His dimness could be endearing.
“She is gorgeous.” Artie responded without a trace of irony, or longing. Finn nodded and smiled. Then he looked at Kurt expectantly.
Kurt must have stared at him with an expression of “you must be joking” for what felt like a million years. But yet, it didn’t budge. Not bright at all.
“If your type is psychotic control-freak, I guess so.”
At that Finn had laughed hard and left alone.
Thinking now maybe he was somewhat right. Rachel was cute, for a crazy girl, that is.
“Hey, Kurt, nice work. With the song I mean. But don´t think I didn´t notice those mistakes you did in the chorus. You are better than this. And, hey if you want to hang out with Finn, outside glee, maybe you should try out for the football team. I heard (Translation: Finn had told her) they need a kicker.”
His heart did a somersault and he tossed his hair dramatically.
“Maybe I will.”
“I was kidding.”
“I wasn’t."