(Untitled)

[victimofnoone]

Who: Hayley, Alpha, later Kirk, Integra; Bones McCoy, Chekov, Harvey
Where: Kitchen; infirmary
What: Alpha decides to teach Hayley a violent lesson.
Warnings: Violence.

Comments

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Hayley realized as Harvey made the remark that she was almost irrevocably attached to him now. He was her friend, her brother, and her father all in one and it would be far too difficult to part with him after this. Everyone needed someone they could talk to; she couldn't help it if hers was a comic book character. And she certainly didn't give a damn what he looked like, with the burns and all.

The girl reached out to the part of Harvey she could reach, the bottom of his shirt, and tugged him the half-step closer to her. She pressed her forehead into his chest, silently forcing herself not to let any tears come. Maybe that was what prompted her warden to give them a moment.

"I can cook," she replied after a moment, lifting her head from Harvey. "Not very well like this? But like, I'm sure I could figure something out."

As Bones reemerged from the back room, she forced her faltering expression into a half-smile again. It was harder to feign an insincere mood with Harvey around, wanting to be herself. Hayley nodded at his initial command, then gave a sarcastic sort of 'really?' furrowing of her brows. "I'm not an addict, old man."

Her scowl followed the doctor until he and the Russian disappeared into the back, staring at the doorway for a moment as if to be sure he wouldn't catch her pulling out of it to switch over to a sort of relieved sadness as she looked back to her friend.

"Hey, do you mind getting me a thing of water?" The question was posed to Harvey with a small motion of her hand to offer the pill as explanation. Then she let out a quiet sigh, obviously more broken and distressed than she wanted the others to realize. "I'm used to getting hurt, I guess. But not like this. He came out of nowhere.. I mean, I saw him, but like, it wasn't him. And then suddenly--"

Hayley adamantly shook her head. Now her attempts at holding back tears were more apparent as her eyes began to glisten some.

Infirmary; totally forgot it was my turn. sorry for fail, guys.

[thetroublewithv]

Chekov felt a little uneasy before McCoy's return, shrugging to the issue of cooking and taking a few more steps to the side. He still smiled slightly but didn't say any more, instead opting to nod wholeheartedly to the doctor's suggestion and pick his way around his bed to follow him wherever the bandages might be.

He also took the moment as a chance to get a better look at the infirmary, curious about the technologies and lack thereof even more so than he'd been in the kitchen. It was strange not to have the walls filled with consoles or replicators for medications, but less disorienting than when he'd first arrived, he supposed.

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Hayley pressed into him when he hugged her, wrapping her less injured arm partially around his waist. She just wanted contact, human contact. Something that might feel like safety and protection in some way. Her fingers grabbed hold of the shirt at his side, clutching it just to feel connected, not willing to let go unless he would ask her.

"Thanks," she mumbled into his chest, the few tears that had squeezed out immediately soaking into his shirt. Her words came out quiet, muffled slightly but still loud enough to hear. "I'm afraid. For the first time in so long.. I hate myself for being so afraid. I hate myself for being so connected."

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

"No, it's not," she argued. The volume of her voice probably carried it into the back room now, but she didn't care. Hayley pulled away from him, not breaking the contact of his hand on her back but enough to look up to him with anger in her eyes. It was pathetic, how attached and desperate she had become. She was supposed to be stronger than this. "It's not all right to care. It shouldn't fucking matter. If I wasn't so pathetic.."

The girl dropped her head with a mix of a growl and moan, her insecurity exploding within her now that the pain was something she could handle; the physical pain was under control, the psychological pain was only beginning. Lifting her head and opening her eyes again, her demeanor shifted.

Hayley had never learned how to let people in without sex, having never truly been close to anyone except the girl that was raped and killed and her father who used to rape her. Unable to understand anything she was feeling, overwhelmed, the girl slid forward just enough to lift her knees up to his sides. Her good hand lifted to stroke the good side of his face. Her expression was instantly detached, shutting down and trying to shut him out.

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Meanwhile, beneath all the confusion and the layers and layers of walls, the girl silently whimpered deep within herself that he might help her. That he would cut through all the shit and care, that he would demand to know and not let her hide. The surface Hayley did quite the opposite, brushing her thumb over his lip with a sensual smile. It was always so easy. This reaction acted as a distraction or a method of pushing people away. Either way, enough to get them to go away and leave her alone. To prove her right in her expectations that people would always let her down.

"You're right. I need a release," she teased, hugging her legs against his sides, holding herself close to him. She was entirely ambivalent, half of her wanting to collapse into him and cry and tell him everything, the other half of her wanting to just have sex with him and be done with everything. Any way to kill the pain, the thoughts, the fear. "Come on, Harvey."

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Hayley frowned when Harvey glared at her and instantly reverted from her apathetic state when he pushed her back. Her limbs collapsed again and she glared at him despite having no real right to do so, finally pulling her knees to her chest despite all the bandages and wrapping her better arm around them. She stared at him silently for a moment. Just when it was long enough that it seemed she wouldn't speak, she finally did. "Fuck you."

The girl twisted her head not to look at him, resting her cheek on one knee. Even though he was doing everything right, her self preservation wouldn't yet allow her to give in. As she realized her own way of acting, she scoffed a little at herself and still refused to look at him. "I don't need you, all right? I fucked up and like, maybe I am messed up, but I don't need you to make it better-- Not that you could. I just want to be alone. I don't need anybody."

She took a deep breath and the harsh edge left her tone as she continued. "Everybody has let me down. I'm tired of being abandoned. So maybe you could just leave now and then I won't have to deal with it. I'll heal. Maybe I'll even stop caring so much."

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Hayley let out a single laugh at his retarded comment, so confused about how she was feeling now that every emotion was exaggerated. When he scooted closer to her, she finally found the courage to look up at him. His expression read everything she could hope for. Then the girl looked down again. She slowly reached the arm of her injured shoulder out just a little, her hand hooking a single finger of his and staring down at it without talking for a moment.

"All kinds of things have happened. What do you mean?" She asked, partially genuinely. Hayley had a good idea of what he meant, but wanted to be sure. She wasn't the kind to offer anything more than she had to. Harvey was perhaps the only person she might be willing to admit her past to, but only if he insisted. As an after thought, she added, "Can we talk about it later?"

Whether she was trying to avoid answering or genuinely just didn't want the others to overhear was unclear in her voice.

Infirmary;

[victimofnoone]

Harvey said later and so the girl dismissed the subject instantly. Anything to let it go, to push off telling him the truth. She knew exactly what he wanted to know and would take all the time in the world to tell him. Finally giving in to her caring again and pushing her anger aside, she pulled his hand by the single finger up onto her knee and rested her cheek on the back of his hand instead.

"Can we go?" She asked softly, hoping Harvey would yell at McCoy and Pavel for permission for her to leave. Glancing at the pills in her other hand, she added, "And I still need that water."