Pondering Friendships
I talked with an old friend from DC yesterday and I was surprisingly hurt by the recalling of an old situation. To make a long story short, I slept with a friend in our friendship circle and when he mistreated me, I moved on from the circle of friends.
Most of the people thought that I should just get over it and stop causing problems in the group. Perhaps they were right. But, the feeling of being betrayed is still pretty deep. I felt that no one stood up for me. No one understood how hard it was to continue going out and seeing the person who hurt me every single weekend.
The strange thing is, I thought I was totally over this. I'm now good friends with the guy who hurt me and all has turned out for the best. But, the pain is still there.
It made me think of how few loyal people I have in my life. And how uncertain I feel about friendship and what it means to be a good friend. I don't trust my own judgment and have no idea if my standards are unreasonable.
I just wish I could get over things and move on. Sometimes it feels like I hold on to my past hurts and never let go. I still ache when I think of my two ex best friends who I lost to thier romantic interests. I still hurt when I think about the situation in DC.
How do I move forward and make new friends when I haven't let go of the past?
Most of the people thought that I should just get over it and stop causing problems in the group. Perhaps they were right. But, the feeling of being betrayed is still pretty deep. I felt that no one stood up for me. No one understood how hard it was to continue going out and seeing the person who hurt me every single weekend.
The strange thing is, I thought I was totally over this. I'm now good friends with the guy who hurt me and all has turned out for the best. But, the pain is still there.
It made me think of how few loyal people I have in my life. And how uncertain I feel about friendship and what it means to be a good friend. I don't trust my own judgment and have no idea if my standards are unreasonable.
I just wish I could get over things and move on. Sometimes it feels like I hold on to my past hurts and never let go. I still ache when I think of my two ex best friends who I lost to thier romantic interests. I still hurt when I think about the situation in DC.
How do I move forward and make new friends when I haven't let go of the past?