FF13 First Impressions: SPOILERS through Chapter 2.
So...I'm maybe 2-3 hours in (just beat Anima) and I'm not sure exactly what I think about this game. I pretty much actively avoided all pre-release information. Not because I feared spoilers, but because the last several main-series releases I have shown a ridiculous preponderance of poor predictions as to whether I would like it. I was certain I'd hate FF10, and I ended up enjoying it. I was convinced FFX-2 would totally be the bee's knees, and--er--I didn't quite expect what I got, and was disappointed. I had firmly made up my mind that I was going to want to kill FFXII with fire repeatedly (MMO combat? You MUST be joking) but as it turns out it was my favourite of the PS2 era.
So I went into FF13 knowing a few character names, basically.
Well, I already want to kill Hope. Like, deader than dead. I didn't realize an FF character could annoy me more than dickless wonder Tidus or fucking shut up already fuckbrain Vaan but somehow in less than 30 seconds on screen Hope eclipsed both of them. Killing with fire is insufficient. Killing with nuclear fucking holocaust might be more appropriate. DO NOT WANT GET OUT OF MY GAME SHUT UP STOP TALKING DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. As of the end of Chapter 2 he has not remotely begun to redeem himself. But um. That might just be my generalized rage against that archetype. Maybe. Just. QUIT FUCKING WHIMPERING. NEVER SPEAK AGAIN.
I--can't decide what I think of Vanille. She's very, er, cheerful. And normally that brings out my "kill it with fire" instinct. But somehow she does not grate on me as much as I feel like she should. (Kind of like Yukari, whom I was certain I'd loathe and ended up being actually very fond of.) Also, wtf is up with her accent? It sounds like they were going for Australian, but it ended up sounding like "talking through thick oatmeal."
Sazh....the less said the better, I think. He. oh God Square did you learn NOTHING from Barrett. ow, my brains. (But the chocobo is totally adorable.)
Lightning is like Cloud and Squall's respective Baskets o'Issues had a love-child and grafted it into a female body. She's...businesslike enough that I WANT to like her, but she's trying too hard to be standoffish, and that makes me annoyed. (I prefer my standoffish ladies effortless. Like Lulu and Celes.)
I am unwillingly fond of Snow, and kind of want to pet him. He's like an oversized puppy. I'm also deeply irked that I am pretty sure I will never see Lebreau again and damn it, she was hot, and seemed pretty awesome.
Mechanics-wise...I don't know. It feels even less like playing a game than FF12 did. I don't even get to PICK my gambits? What the hell is this shenanigans? Also fuck damn fuck fuck I HATE games that give you a game-over screen when the protag bites it. WE HAVE FUCKING PHOENIX DOWN. WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS.
Visually, though, this game is gorgeous. mmmmm nom nom nom. (I bought it for PS3.) The setting makes me think of Autochthonians from Exalted, for some reason. I think it's the cyberpunk feel.
I have to say though that my favourite part of this game so far is the strategy guide. No, I'm serious. Someone finally told Square what a collector's edition guide should actually be! I was going to just buy the standard, because I'm sick of paying extra for a collector's only to have the piece of shit fall apart on me (and the little artbook isn't enough incentive, sry 2 say.) I'm not particularly rough on my guides, but I do USE them. I even turn pages. And read things. Which does not appear to be taken into account in the design of anything Brady Games has made since 2000. I wrecked my FFX guide so badly I bought a second one, and my FFX-2 guide is not in fabulous shape, and my FFXII guide is hanging on by threads in some places. So I wasn't going to waste the money.
But. The CE is hardcover. And I was all over that. It was like YES THANK GOD I WILL HAVE SO MUCH HARDER OF A TIME DESTROYING IT ACCIDENTALLY. The paper is very thick and resilient, and the tone just cracks me up. It's snarky!
Other things: well shit, guys, you finally figured out that a fucking index might be helpful. And somebody even told the guide writers that people don't like spoilers! HOLY SHIT WHAT A CONCEPT. Even the INDEX is spoiler-labeled. And there's a page that specifies what level of both gameplay and story spoilers would be found in each section of the guide. RIDICULOUS.
(I'm also ridiculously amused by the fact that the cover copy is totally upselling like a Lexus salesman vs. a Toyota one. "Suitable for use with Final Fantasy XIII on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360!" "Carefully designed to minimize spoilers!" They also used the word "espy" at least twice already.
Anyway, I am intrigued enough to keep playing. So more on this later. But for now, sleepins.
ETA: Hi, ff_press people! Please do me a favour: NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS. Seriously. Really, really seriously.
So I went into FF13 knowing a few character names, basically.
Well, I already want to kill Hope. Like, deader than dead. I didn't realize an FF character could annoy me more than dickless wonder Tidus or fucking shut up already fuckbrain Vaan but somehow in less than 30 seconds on screen Hope eclipsed both of them. Killing with fire is insufficient. Killing with nuclear fucking holocaust might be more appropriate. DO NOT WANT GET OUT OF MY GAME SHUT UP STOP TALKING DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. As of the end of Chapter 2 he has not remotely begun to redeem himself. But um. That might just be my generalized rage against that archetype. Maybe. Just. QUIT FUCKING WHIMPERING. NEVER SPEAK AGAIN.
I--can't decide what I think of Vanille. She's very, er, cheerful. And normally that brings out my "kill it with fire" instinct. But somehow she does not grate on me as much as I feel like she should. (Kind of like Yukari, whom I was certain I'd loathe and ended up being actually very fond of.) Also, wtf is up with her accent? It sounds like they were going for Australian, but it ended up sounding like "talking through thick oatmeal."
Sazh....the less said the better, I think. He. oh God Square did you learn NOTHING from Barrett. ow, my brains. (But the chocobo is totally adorable.)
Lightning is like Cloud and Squall's respective Baskets o'Issues had a love-child and grafted it into a female body. She's...businesslike enough that I WANT to like her, but she's trying too hard to be standoffish, and that makes me annoyed. (I prefer my standoffish ladies effortless. Like Lulu and Celes.)
I am unwillingly fond of Snow, and kind of want to pet him. He's like an oversized puppy. I'm also deeply irked that I am pretty sure I will never see Lebreau again and damn it, she was hot, and seemed pretty awesome.
Mechanics-wise...I don't know. It feels even less like playing a game than FF12 did. I don't even get to PICK my gambits? What the hell is this shenanigans? Also fuck damn fuck fuck I HATE games that give you a game-over screen when the protag bites it. WE HAVE FUCKING PHOENIX DOWN. WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS.
Visually, though, this game is gorgeous. mmmmm nom nom nom. (I bought it for PS3.) The setting makes me think of Autochthonians from Exalted, for some reason. I think it's the cyberpunk feel.
I have to say though that my favourite part of this game so far is the strategy guide. No, I'm serious. Someone finally told Square what a collector's edition guide should actually be! I was going to just buy the standard, because I'm sick of paying extra for a collector's only to have the piece of shit fall apart on me (and the little artbook isn't enough incentive, sry 2 say.) I'm not particularly rough on my guides, but I do USE them. I even turn pages. And read things. Which does not appear to be taken into account in the design of anything Brady Games has made since 2000. I wrecked my FFX guide so badly I bought a second one, and my FFX-2 guide is not in fabulous shape, and my FFXII guide is hanging on by threads in some places. So I wasn't going to waste the money.
But. The CE is hardcover. And I was all over that. It was like YES THANK GOD I WILL HAVE SO MUCH HARDER OF A TIME DESTROYING IT ACCIDENTALLY. The paper is very thick and resilient, and the tone just cracks me up. It's snarky!
Other things: well shit, guys, you finally figured out that a fucking index might be helpful. And somebody even told the guide writers that people don't like spoilers! HOLY SHIT WHAT A CONCEPT. Even the INDEX is spoiler-labeled. And there's a page that specifies what level of both gameplay and story spoilers would be found in each section of the guide. RIDICULOUS.
(I'm also ridiculously amused by the fact that the cover copy is totally upselling like a Lexus salesman vs. a Toyota one. "Suitable for use with Final Fantasy XIII on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360!" "Carefully designed to minimize spoilers!" They also used the word "espy" at least twice already.
Anyway, I am intrigued enough to keep playing. So more on this later. But for now, sleepins.
ETA: Hi, ff_press people! Please do me a favour: NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS. Seriously. Really, really seriously.