DVD Commentary Meme

[lassarina]

Snicked from Puel and others.

Pick a paragraph/passage of under 500 words from any story I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context

Comments

[ovo_lexa]

This one here! It's over 500 words, I know, but also a single segment difficult to cut apart. :D

1 of 2 (haha tl;dr)

[lassarina]

You have picked one of my favourite pieces for me to yammer about, and that makes you super awesome. ♥

So, a huge part of what I was trying to accomplish with this piece was to convey as much as possible about the two of them while writing from a movie-camera perspective instead of a fictional one; you can see and hear their actions and words, but not their thoughts.

I was listening to a very old Evanescence song called "Listen to the Rain" which is sort of church-choral and has the following lyric: "Listen to each drop of rain/whispering secrets in vain/frantically searching for someone to hear/their story before they hit ground/please don't let go/can't we stay for a while/it's just too hard to say goodbye/Listen to the rain/weeping." I happened to hear it on a very rainy morning on my way into work, and the fic pretty much sprang into existence.

She glanced at him. "I didn't come for the view

2 of 2

[lassarina]

"Perhaps not a military threat, but the Emperor would not simply order a city wiped out for amusement's sake. I am sure that the Emperor knows what he is doing." Leo put his hand over hers. His hand was large and warm, calloused from years upon years of swordplay and bearing a light tracery of scars from many battles.

Celes bowed her head. "You have such faith."

Leo doesn't believe this. Not really. He's clinging to the framework that's made up his life, because take that away and everything falls apart, and he hopes that if he says it out loud, if he can convince her, he'll convince himself. Physical contact; the one point of warmth in a cold and wet scene, emphasizing their connection and the way they support each other; implicitly but not overtly intimate.

She did not answer, only stood with water streaming from her hair and her cloak. A chill breeze brushed over them, bringing with it the scent of damp earth and rain-soaked forests from the south.

Contrasts: Leo's warmth and the scents of life vs. Celes, cold, death.

Her

Re: 2 of 2

[ovo_lexa]

Yay! ♥

Leo staying and presumably growing up in the Empire is one of the major mysteries in my head surrounding FFVI. I mean, there are a few, but... uh... dude!

I like the thought of them supporting one another, though. It makes a hell of a lot of sense.

The whole "movie angle" is something I find incredibly difficult to pull off. It works well here for such a detailed-yet-simple scene; I think that the symbolism adds a great second layer to it, too.

Also I don't think it's particularly pretentious, but, uh... I don't always pick up on pretentious very well, so don't believe me!