Musing
So. Tomorrow (well, technically today) is my day of absolute solitude. I cannot express how much I am looking forward to this. I just can't express it. I have SO much that I need to do. Definitely a consulation with at least one divinatory tool is in order. Possibly a consultation of all three that I have at my disposal. Runes....Tarot....Ogham......indeed, I have many questions and I have need of answers. Hopefully I can find hints there, at least. I know better than to expect divination to hand me the answer on a silver platter, but at least I can understand what's going on a little better, and that's to my advantage. Possibly even get some hints and warnings of the things I cannot see.
I'm also going to work on my site. Quite a bit, in fact. And other than that....who knows. My initial plan was to do some homework too...but screw that. I have other things to do, and creating stress for myself is not on the list. I do enough of that normally without having it intrude on a day when I just want to contemplate and handle simple things.
Some people I know have expressed confusion as to why I feel that solitude is necessary. Eben summed it up nicely when he said that the way I live my life has undergone extremely drastic changes since October. I really need to sort myself out. I can't do that when other people are around because I can't focus properly when other people's emotions are cluttering the aural atmosphere. Hmm, that sounds impossibly New Age-ish and generally flaky, but it's true.
Also, I just need time alone. I'm not accustomed to constantly being in the presence of other people and it's started to wear on me. Solitude...no sounds except those that I choose to have.....no contact with people....
I understand some of what motivates people to become hermits. I won't go back to setting myself apart from everyone else, I won't go back to hiding in my room all the time. But until I have a good grip on my personal version of reality and madness, and until I've rearranged my mind to suit my altered circumstances, I'm simply not going to be fit company for anyone. People who don't like it can deal with it.
In other news, I saw "A Beautiful Mind" tonight. It was excellent. Quite excellent.
Well, I won't post or check journals tomorrow/today....so that's all for now.
I'm also going to work on my site. Quite a bit, in fact. And other than that....who knows. My initial plan was to do some homework too...but screw that. I have other things to do, and creating stress for myself is not on the list. I do enough of that normally without having it intrude on a day when I just want to contemplate and handle simple things.
Some people I know have expressed confusion as to why I feel that solitude is necessary. Eben summed it up nicely when he said that the way I live my life has undergone extremely drastic changes since October. I really need to sort myself out. I can't do that when other people are around because I can't focus properly when other people's emotions are cluttering the aural atmosphere. Hmm, that sounds impossibly New Age-ish and generally flaky, but it's true.
Also, I just need time alone. I'm not accustomed to constantly being in the presence of other people and it's started to wear on me. Solitude...no sounds except those that I choose to have.....no contact with people....
I understand some of what motivates people to become hermits. I won't go back to setting myself apart from everyone else, I won't go back to hiding in my room all the time. But until I have a good grip on my personal version of reality and madness, and until I've rearranged my mind to suit my altered circumstances, I'm simply not going to be fit company for anyone. People who don't like it can deal with it.
In other news, I saw "A Beautiful Mind" tonight. It was excellent. Quite excellent.
Well, I won't post or check journals tomorrow/today....so that's all for now.