The dawning of the age
Oh what the hell....We went from continuous down-pouring rain for over 20 hours yesterday to hot as hell high humidity oh the woes again!But I know my flist does not give two shits, so instead I thought I would predict everyone's horoscopes for them. Please enjoy. (*snerk* of course I didn't pen these, but they made me giggle ever so)
Aquarius-January to February 18
YOu have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.You lie a great deal.You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone really thinks you're a fucking jerk.
Pisces-February 19 to March 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by The FBI or The CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dip-shit.
Aries-March 21 to April 19
You are the pioneer type and think most people are dick-heads. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
Taurus-April 20 to May 20
You are practical and persistent.You have dogged determination and work like hell.Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a fucking communist. <<<<----my personal favorite!!
Gemini-May 21 to June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual.You are inclined to expect too much for too little.This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on insects.
Cancer-June 21 to July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off and everyone knows that everyone in prison is a cancer.
Leo-July 23 to August 22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving mother fuckers and spend most of the time kissing a mirror.....that is if you havn't stolen it yet.
Virgo-August 23 to September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This shit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgo's make excellent bus drivers and pimps.
Libra-September 23 to October 22
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libras have venereal Diseases.
Scorpio-October 23 to November 21
The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most scorpios are murdered by their friends.
Sagittarius-November 22 to December 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to reply on luck since you have no talent. The majority of sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius, enough said!
Capricorn-December 22 to January 19
You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken shit. There has never been a capricorn of any importance, you should kill yourself.
Aquarius-January to February 18
YOu have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.You lie a great deal.You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone really thinks you're a fucking jerk.
Pisces-February 19 to March 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by The FBI or The CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dip-shit.
Aries-March 21 to April 19
You are the pioneer type and think most people are dick-heads. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
Taurus-April 20 to May 20
You are practical and persistent.You have dogged determination and work like hell.Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a fucking communist. <<<<----my personal favorite!!
Gemini-May 21 to June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual.You are inclined to expect too much for too little.This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on insects.
Cancer-June 21 to July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off and everyone knows that everyone in prison is a cancer.
Leo-July 23 to August 22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving mother fuckers and spend most of the time kissing a mirror.....that is if you havn't stolen it yet.
Virgo-August 23 to September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This shit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgo's make excellent bus drivers and pimps.
Libra-September 23 to October 22
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libras have venereal Diseases.
Scorpio-October 23 to November 21
The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most scorpios are murdered by their friends.
Sagittarius-November 22 to December 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to reply on luck since you have no talent. The majority of sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius, enough said!
Capricorn-December 22 to January 19
You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken shit. There has never been a capricorn of any importance, you should kill yourself.