Retrace 63 - Thoughts and Ramblings from a Flailing Idiot
My god, let me just say right now: I LOVE THIS FANDOM. I've never seen such dedicated fans than I've seen in PH. I just really love you all. /bakes a win cake for everyone
ANYWAY OH MY GOD. I've never been so nervous for a chapter in my life. I literally cried when I saw that someone posted it. So I guess it's time for me to shut the hell up and get on with this, eh? <3
1. Oh god, beautiful color page. Leo's smile is freaking me out, but LOOK AT VINCENT. He looks like a hungry lion, albeit a really gorgeous one. Meanwhile, Echo is just like, “Um, guys, can I go home yet?” Gil looks baffled and Oz looks alarmingly endearing. And I'm not paying attention to Alice because, well, I never pay attention to Alice. /shot
2+3. I think it goes without saying how much I love this artwork. The master/servant duality is amazing. I also love that Leo is the only one in purple. Significant? Knowing Mochijun, probably. Totally loving the feather symbolism all throughout the picture, as well as Gilbert's fucking blue rose on his coat, ahhhhh. Oh, Gil-baby, you worry me.
4. U-um. HNNNNG. DO WANT. Leo, god dammit, if you get any prettier, I'll just...well, I don't know what I'll do, but GOD YOU'RE STUNNING.
5. Okay, I can't handle the amount of cute that is in this page. Fucking bunny ears? Fucking Jack? Fucking pissy Glen-bunny? Yeah. Can't handle it. /withers
6. Ohai, Barma back. So according to the translation, Rufus is plotting something. Well, no shit, it's Rufus. But that being said, even Duchess Rainsworth notices Rufus's ability to be unfazed by anything. I feel like it should be a meme by now.
7.Oh, this page makes me sad...Leo being so chipper just isn't sitting well with me. And it shouldn't. Since when have overly chipper now-antagonists been a good thing? On a much lighter note, when Oz says, “Leo, who's cut his hair and taken off his glasses”, I can't help but be reminded of Not Another Teen Movie when the guy is like, “What? Her? But...but she has glasses! And a ponytail!” If anyone knows what I'm talking about... xD
8. Sad Oz introspection. Looks like he's just as sad about this new Leo as I am. And that's right, Gil, you jump in front of Oz like a good little servan-man-lover.
9. Okay, um, this Leo+Oz duality is seriously freaking me out. Looks like Gil's sentiments are the same, given his RAEGFACE. And no, Leo, Oz will not take a walk with you because you're scary.
10. H-Holy shit. That's a gorgeous panel of Leo. But moving on, WHY ISN'T GILBERT KICKING VINCENT'S ASS YET. Really. At least something would do; a glare, a sharp word, SOMETHING. /huff
11. ...lol oh. Pffft. Just, um...just give me a moment to swoon here.
/swoons
Okay. Wow. Maybe he isn't kicking his ass exactly, but there's a hell of a lot of tension on that page. I love how wild Gilbert's eyes are here, and how unnervingly serene Vincent looks the whole time, as if he's suddenly found a weird sense of peace with this state of affairs, with his wish... /cries
And Gilbert does not look happy about this whole “my master” stuff coming from Vincent. Oh god, more things for the man to stress over... /cries harder
12. LPLPK;PLIHSG. BABY LEO. LEO BACKSTORY. LEO. Oh my god. He's just...so pure and untapped and...and, god, his little monologue going on here is heartbreaking. “It was always me who was the strange one.” Fffff...
13. So much character development here. Leo's mother was his “only ally”? So he knew what it was like to be completely alone even at that young age...oh god.
14. This is so strange. It's as if Leo relived this entire flashback when Elliot died. His “only ally” was killed, he was left alone, and he was taken in as a suspect of sorts both times (being questioned about Elliot, etc.). It's kinda-sorta-really tearing my heart apart. I can't help but be giddy over this House of Fianna info, though.
15. The shot of Leo touching the piano is chilling. Ohhh, but bitch got slapped for asking about his hair. (Is it bad that I rooted him on?)
16. I love that he says he's not good with kids. It's a total 180 image of when he was hugging all the orphans a bunch of chapters back. The character development...ahh...
He looks striking here, though. And my chest is getting all tight at the simplicity in, “I like books.” It's just...I don't know, so just. It speaks for itself.
17. Oh, goodness, I hope someone colors this entire page, because it's stunning. Look how happy he looks; he's all rosy-cheeked and bright. Ughhh. And his monologue, my god, it's perfect. “This is my sanctuary.” And the fact that it's something that takes him away from everything, something like reading, just makes me want to sob. He's an escapist at heart, and that hurts, because how many of us can relate to that?
18. ELLIOT. FFFFFF. Elliot. Yes. God, I've missed you. I can't even begin to express how much I'd been hoping for some Elliot flashbacks, especially ones revolving around when he first met Leo. Totally loving Leo's deadpan expression, too.
19. Oh god, and Leo's telling Oz this entire story so eerily happily. He's just...sitting on the wall, waving his arms around like a little kid. I can't do this, oh my god. x_x Just...this. “No matter what I'd say, he'd respond head on, even though I got angry and shot back at him, he'd just do it again. Somehow, it was kind of fun for me.”
20. Fffff, and the moment that changed everything for these two. God god god, it aaaaaches. And I still can't handle that expression on Elliot's face; so calm, so accepting, so certain.
21. Another gruesome flashback. Look how terrified Leo looks upon waking... /heart shatters
22. And then Elliot is just there. Watching over him. Fuuuuck. T_T
23. LEO'S FACE. Oh my god. He looks...is hysterical even the right word at this point? All of the right words completely left me at the SLEEVE GRAB. It's such a raw gesture, so honest - he just wants Elliot there. He wants to be certain of at least that much if he can't be certain about everything else being a dream. He wants that one tangible thing...T_T
24. ...there's nothing to say but this. “That nostalgic feeling of being left behind in that world I couldn't share with anyone else.” It doesn't get much more depressing than that, folks.
25. Oh, finally some explanation to that “I wrote it” scene.
/reads translation
...Or maybe not. Well, no matter; the fact that it was brought up at all is pretty neat, not to mention the fact that Leo looks pretty confused about Elliot's response entirely. Chilling.
(On a lighter note, Leo looks cute when you can see his eyes through his glasses. The little geek. <3)
26. I can't even imagine how isolated Leo must feel right now. He's the only one that remembers what really happened with those children... “No one, not even you, remembers those children.” Oh, Leo...
30. Before I get all angsty, let me just say: is anyone else noticing how much older Oz looks here? Older, and more staid. And...kind of hot, actually. Damn. XD
Okay, now time for angst. THE FEATHERS. THE SYMBOLISM. THE LEO. God, even his posture has changed; he used to be this little slouchy thing in baggy clothes and humble expressions, and now look at him. He's standing so ramrod straight, so eerily powerful, and he's looking up at the sky as all these feathers are falling around him. The sheer Glen-ness of this page is scary.
Oh, and gtfo Isla.
31. And then Leo cracks. Oh god. “You know, I hate myself, Oz...” That is HEARTBREAKING. And I can just hear his voice being so soft all the same, so weary...before he just snaps completely, most likely scaring the piss out of anyone within a ten mile radius of him. Just look at Oz. So much desperation on this page...
32. Beautiful shot of Leo. If someone that had never been into PH looked at this page, I bet they'd think it was some uplifting scene or something, what with the expression and the light and the...the yeah... /headdesk
33. Holy crap, drama! Leo's going to destroy the Will of the Abyss? I feel like I should have known this earlier, but given my slowness... xD Notice how everyone looks freaked out to some extent EXCEPT VINCENT, LMFAO. He's just like, “Bitches don't know 'bout my crazy master.”
34. Break! :3 So he's finally up and about, I take it. Thass gud.
/reads translation
Ooooh, so we're getting into Alyss's wish! FINALLY.
35. Breathtaking artwork here. But besides that, OH MY GOD I KNEW IT. Fucking Alyss wants to be erased. HOW MANY PEOPLE WANT TO BE SAKUJO'D, JESUS. (Any Death Note fans...?) Anyway, I'm rather confused over one thing: why does Alyss want Alice to be saved? I thought she hated her? (I hate her enough as it is. ._. )
36. So...the Abyss was once this totally awesome place of awesomeness, and then Alyss showed up, crashed the party, and fucked everything up? Is that what I'm gathering from this? My brain is so melted from this chapter.
37. Okay, at this point, I don't even know whose side I'm on. Honestly. Am I even supposed to believe Leo right now when he says the Baskervilles want to restore the Abyss to the way it was? I've never even considered Glen to be the true baddy of this series, either...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE. GLASS CASE OF EMOTION.
38. Ohhhh, Oz. I love you so much. Seriously, look how much more mature he's gotten just in the past few chapters. It's...relieving. And his little speech about justice is very powerful: “There's neither justice nor evil.” Hell, that might as well be the thesis for this entire series.
39. Oh no. Oh no no no. Another tragedy? Fffff. WHAT'S GOING ON. EVERYONE JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND NO ONE GETS HURT. /passes out
40. THE FEATHERS. Holy crap. Shit just got REAL. And Leo just called Oz “a factor in the instability of the Will of the Abyss”. So is that Oz's sin - disturbing the order of the Abyss? I just wish I knew how...
41. HNNNNG OMG. Jabberwocky is the fugliest chain in existence. Its face is just like “ghgdhgfsjgsd”. But oh shit, this means the next chapter will likely be a really insane one...I have a really, really bad feeling about it. I keep thinking that Gil will jump out and be valiant for Oz and get hurt...or his chain will wear him down or something equally awful. I don't think Mochijun would kill off another lead so soon after Elliot, though. Even still, I'm even more nervous for this next chapter than I was for this one. NO RELIEF. x_x