Fic: Dimestore Saints; Modern!AU
Author: rivlee
Title: Dimestore Saints
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: Haldane, Babe, and Leyden. Gen.
Summary: Just another morning in St. Boniface, with the added dash of Leyden. Part of the Modern!AU.
Disclaimer: This is all fiction based off the characters as portrayed in the HBO mini-series. No disrespect or harm is meant or intended. Title and cut-text from The Gaslight Anthem’s The Navesink Banks.
A/N: Unbeated. Mostly character background and dialogue as per usual. Meme request ficlet for skylilies who wanted some Leyden.
Bill Leyden annoyed the shit out of Babe Heffron, so by default he became Snafu’s favorite houseguest. Eddie Jones could admit that Bill Leyden was an acquired taste, he was full of Brooklyn Bravado and a New York attitude. He was loud, argumentative, and uncompromising. In a lot of ways he was just like Snaf, except less laid back and with a harsher accent. Bill was a wiseass though, the kind who picked at things like Snaf did, but Babe could find reasons, mostly because of Gene Roe, to excuse Shelton’s behavior. Leyden didn’t have any such rights.
“Jesus Christ, I’m going to murder him in his sleep,” Babe muttered as he tore through his stack of french toast with aggression. “I mean, who the hell does he think he is? Telling me how to do my job.”
Eddie just took a long sip of his coffee. He’d grown used to young men ranting about Leyden, the only difference now was that he had the cool top of a kitchen counter in Louisiana to lean against.
“And fuck him for his everything is better in New York, shit. I get it, Philly’s not Manhattan but it’s not like we’re in I don’t know, Wyoming or some shit.”
“Now, Heffron, don’t insult the buffalo wranglers of the Equality State. At least go for some place no one cares about like Montana.”
Babe gave him a hell-freezing glare. It probably would’ve scared anyone else, but Eddie’s sisters and cousins had long ago made him immune. Honestly, Kitty’s glares made Babe’s non-existent.
“You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are,” Babe said.
“Oh, I’m hilarious,” Eddie said. He put his coffee mug down. “Look, Heffron, Leyden comes along with the package deal of Snafu and Sledge. Snafu comes along with Doc. You’re going to have to live with it. You don’t have to like it, you don’t even have to like him, but honestly, letting Leyden see you get all worked up over his appearance will just make it worse for you in the long run.”
“He ambushed me in bed,” Babe gritted out through his clenched jaw.
Eddie shrugged. “Few things are sacred to Bill Leyden in this world, least of all the almost-matrimonial bed.”
“Yeah, what doesn’t he violate?”
“The Mets, the Rangers, and beer and barbeque on Fourth of July.”
Eddie bit down on the inside of his cheek and tired not to laugh at Babe’s expression. He really was one of the most ornery young men to ever grace a breakfast table.
“Babe,” Leyden drawled as he prattled down the stairs in nothing but his boxers. “No mints on the pillow, no guest soaps in the bathroom, and none of the nice fluffy towels laid out. I’m going to have to tell Doc that you’re failing the Suzie Homemaker course.”
Babe looked ready to tell Leyden just where he could shove his complaints. Eddie really didn’t’ want to have to clean up blood stains off the floor again; he’d just waxed it last month.
“Rules of hospitality,” he muttered as he took his coffee mug up again.
“Fuck it,” Babe said. He stood up, plate in hand and shoved his chair back under the table with his foot. “I’m going to work.”
“It’s only 10 in the morning,” Leyden said.
“Deliveries,” Babe spat out.
He looked ready to make a mad dash for the door, balancing plate, coffee mug, and man bag.
“Hat,” Eddie said before he could leave.
“Fucking seriously, yo?” Babe asked.
Eddie shook his head. “You want Doc’s lecture on skin cancer for the fifth time this week, that’s up to you. I’d just rather your argument not ruin another one of my dinners with Andy.”
Babe didn’t say anything just dropped his plate long enough to throw a Phillies cap on and ran out the back, screen door slamming behind him.
Eddie walked over to the microwave and pulled out the plate he’d made for Leyden. He placed it in front of him before taking a seat.
“One of these days you’re really going to piss off the wrong person, Bill.”
Leyden waved him off with a fork. “Babe just needs his feather’s ruffled.”
“Snafu does enough ruffling for the entirety of St. Martin’s Parish.”
“Uh-uh,” Leyden said through a full mouth. “Babe’s used to him now, doesn’t have the fear like he used to, it upsets the balance of your household.”
He laughed. “You are so full of shit.”
Leyden just ducked his head and grinned.
He reached a hand up and smacked the back of Leyden’s head. “Don’t push it too far, though. Doc likes you enough, but if you start making things truly difficult for him and Babe, you will not like the consequences. Boy gets meaner than Snafu, and trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of his tantrums.”
“Don’t worry about me, Gunny, I know when to stop.”
He did, Eddie had to admit, he just when far beyond what most people would deem sane before he put the brakes on. Leyden was a daredevil, he liked to push people’s buttons. It’s why he got along with Snafu, kindred spirits and all, but while Snaf liked to make people uncomfortable Bill liked to see them get pissed off. He thrived on the tension and the energy. It made him a hell of a Marine, but Christ, it caused some problems in the civilian world. He could easily count on two hands the amount of times he got calls in the middle of the night to bail Leyden out from somewhere.
At least he was working for Nixon Development now and was all Lew’s problem. He had absolutely no problems handing over the keys to that particular pet’s cage. He just didn’t quite know how to break it to Babe and Spina that Leyden would be one of the heads of the new Louisiana branch.
“You found an apartment yet?” he asked.
Leyden smirked. “You don’t think they’ll offer me a room here? I figure a spot’s opening up since rumor has it you’re moving in with Haldane.”
“Andy’s in the process of building our new home, yes, but it’s going to be at least another year until we move. Besides, I already called dibs on making my room into an office.”
“How’d you swing that?”
“I’m a damn good cook.”
Leyden burped in response. “No complaints here, Gunny.”
“Come on, Bill, give me the truth.”
“I found a nice little place outside Lafayette. Good neighborhood, scouted it while trying to find Burgie a place. I think Jay will like it there. It’s quiet but still has a small town feel.”
“Does Jay know he won’t be moving across the country to live in New York City?”
Leyden smirked. “I may have started to push him towards Southern Gothic.”
“You’re a piece of work, Ballpeen.”
“And you guys love me for it.”
They did, without a doubt. Snafu might be called their Pit Bull, but Leyden was definitely their Rottweiler. It’d be a hell of a shitshow having him down here fulltime.
Doc would probably need to do something about Babe’s blood pressure.
“Well,” he said, standing up and patting Leyden on the shoulder, “you just let me know when you’re going to make the big announcement. Me and my plausible deniability plan to be far away from Louisiana when that happens.”
“Running away?”
“I like to think of it as a strategic retreat.” He pointed to the sink. “You know where the dishes go and how to clean up after yourself. I’ve got to go man the reception desk at the clinic. Do not burn the house down. Do not let Kip eat half the pizza I know you plan on having for lunch, and for the love of god, do not lock Oliver in the closet again.”
Leyden gave him a mock salute.
Eddie shook his head. He’d better ask Sledge to dash back to the house in-between classes just to make sure it was still standing. God only knew what Leyden would get up to without adult supervision.
Title: Dimestore Saints
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: Haldane, Babe, and Leyden. Gen.
Summary: Just another morning in St. Boniface, with the added dash of Leyden. Part of the Modern!AU.
Disclaimer: This is all fiction based off the characters as portrayed in the HBO mini-series. No disrespect or harm is meant or intended. Title and cut-text from The Gaslight Anthem’s The Navesink Banks.
A/N: Unbeated. Mostly character background and dialogue as per usual. Meme request ficlet for skylilies who wanted some Leyden.
Bill Leyden annoyed the shit out of Babe Heffron, so by default he became Snafu’s favorite houseguest. Eddie Jones could admit that Bill Leyden was an acquired taste, he was full of Brooklyn Bravado and a New York attitude. He was loud, argumentative, and uncompromising. In a lot of ways he was just like Snaf, except less laid back and with a harsher accent. Bill was a wiseass though, the kind who picked at things like Snaf did, but Babe could find reasons, mostly because of Gene Roe, to excuse Shelton’s behavior. Leyden didn’t have any such rights.
“Jesus Christ, I’m going to murder him in his sleep,” Babe muttered as he tore through his stack of french toast with aggression. “I mean, who the hell does he think he is? Telling me how to do my job.”
Eddie just took a long sip of his coffee. He’d grown used to young men ranting about Leyden, the only difference now was that he had the cool top of a kitchen counter in Louisiana to lean against.
“And fuck him for his everything is better in New York, shit. I get it, Philly’s not Manhattan but it’s not like we’re in I don’t know, Wyoming or some shit.”
“Now, Heffron, don’t insult the buffalo wranglers of the Equality State. At least go for some place no one cares about like Montana.”
Babe gave him a hell-freezing glare. It probably would’ve scared anyone else, but Eddie’s sisters and cousins had long ago made him immune. Honestly, Kitty’s glares made Babe’s non-existent.
“You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are,” Babe said.
“Oh, I’m hilarious,” Eddie said. He put his coffee mug down. “Look, Heffron, Leyden comes along with the package deal of Snafu and Sledge. Snafu comes along with Doc. You’re going to have to live with it. You don’t have to like it, you don’t even have to like him, but honestly, letting Leyden see you get all worked up over his appearance will just make it worse for you in the long run.”
“He ambushed me in bed,” Babe gritted out through his clenched jaw.
Eddie shrugged. “Few things are sacred to Bill Leyden in this world, least of all the almost-matrimonial bed.”
“Yeah, what doesn’t he violate?”
“The Mets, the Rangers, and beer and barbeque on Fourth of July.”
Eddie bit down on the inside of his cheek and tired not to laugh at Babe’s expression. He really was one of the most ornery young men to ever grace a breakfast table.
“Babe,” Leyden drawled as he prattled down the stairs in nothing but his boxers. “No mints on the pillow, no guest soaps in the bathroom, and none of the nice fluffy towels laid out. I’m going to have to tell Doc that you’re failing the Suzie Homemaker course.”
Babe looked ready to tell Leyden just where he could shove his complaints. Eddie really didn’t’ want to have to clean up blood stains off the floor again; he’d just waxed it last month.
“Rules of hospitality,” he muttered as he took his coffee mug up again.
“Fuck it,” Babe said. He stood up, plate in hand and shoved his chair back under the table with his foot. “I’m going to work.”
“It’s only 10 in the morning,” Leyden said.
“Deliveries,” Babe spat out.
He looked ready to make a mad dash for the door, balancing plate, coffee mug, and man bag.
“Hat,” Eddie said before he could leave.
“Fucking seriously, yo?” Babe asked.
Eddie shook his head. “You want Doc’s lecture on skin cancer for the fifth time this week, that’s up to you. I’d just rather your argument not ruin another one of my dinners with Andy.”
Babe didn’t say anything just dropped his plate long enough to throw a Phillies cap on and ran out the back, screen door slamming behind him.
Eddie walked over to the microwave and pulled out the plate he’d made for Leyden. He placed it in front of him before taking a seat.
“One of these days you’re really going to piss off the wrong person, Bill.”
Leyden waved him off with a fork. “Babe just needs his feather’s ruffled.”
“Snafu does enough ruffling for the entirety of St. Martin’s Parish.”
“Uh-uh,” Leyden said through a full mouth. “Babe’s used to him now, doesn’t have the fear like he used to, it upsets the balance of your household.”
He laughed. “You are so full of shit.”
Leyden just ducked his head and grinned.
He reached a hand up and smacked the back of Leyden’s head. “Don’t push it too far, though. Doc likes you enough, but if you start making things truly difficult for him and Babe, you will not like the consequences. Boy gets meaner than Snafu, and trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of his tantrums.”
“Don’t worry about me, Gunny, I know when to stop.”
He did, Eddie had to admit, he just when far beyond what most people would deem sane before he put the brakes on. Leyden was a daredevil, he liked to push people’s buttons. It’s why he got along with Snafu, kindred spirits and all, but while Snaf liked to make people uncomfortable Bill liked to see them get pissed off. He thrived on the tension and the energy. It made him a hell of a Marine, but Christ, it caused some problems in the civilian world. He could easily count on two hands the amount of times he got calls in the middle of the night to bail Leyden out from somewhere.
At least he was working for Nixon Development now and was all Lew’s problem. He had absolutely no problems handing over the keys to that particular pet’s cage. He just didn’t quite know how to break it to Babe and Spina that Leyden would be one of the heads of the new Louisiana branch.
“You found an apartment yet?” he asked.
Leyden smirked. “You don’t think they’ll offer me a room here? I figure a spot’s opening up since rumor has it you’re moving in with Haldane.”
“Andy’s in the process of building our new home, yes, but it’s going to be at least another year until we move. Besides, I already called dibs on making my room into an office.”
“How’d you swing that?”
“I’m a damn good cook.”
Leyden burped in response. “No complaints here, Gunny.”
“Come on, Bill, give me the truth.”
“I found a nice little place outside Lafayette. Good neighborhood, scouted it while trying to find Burgie a place. I think Jay will like it there. It’s quiet but still has a small town feel.”
“Does Jay know he won’t be moving across the country to live in New York City?”
Leyden smirked. “I may have started to push him towards Southern Gothic.”
“You’re a piece of work, Ballpeen.”
“And you guys love me for it.”
They did, without a doubt. Snafu might be called their Pit Bull, but Leyden was definitely their Rottweiler. It’d be a hell of a shitshow having him down here fulltime.
Doc would probably need to do something about Babe’s blood pressure.
“Well,” he said, standing up and patting Leyden on the shoulder, “you just let me know when you’re going to make the big announcement. Me and my plausible deniability plan to be far away from Louisiana when that happens.”
“Running away?”
“I like to think of it as a strategic retreat.” He pointed to the sink. “You know where the dishes go and how to clean up after yourself. I’ve got to go man the reception desk at the clinic. Do not burn the house down. Do not let Kip eat half the pizza I know you plan on having for lunch, and for the love of god, do not lock Oliver in the closet again.”
Leyden gave him a mock salute.
Eddie shook his head. He’d better ask Sledge to dash back to the house in-between classes just to make sure it was still standing. God only knew what Leyden would get up to without adult supervision.