what am I? Who am I

[largo4life]

ok this is a rant that i was thinking about for like six hours due to the fact that i had to gun on eight. sucks i know. anyways.. who am I.

my name is not mine, my life is not mine, and yet i judge others. i hurt those who desevre nothing but love. i feed on the pain of others. then in a way what am I. am i human to have such thoughts like i do? i think about my life and the things that i have done. the pain i have caused other and how much better it felt to see them fall.
why am i here then, to see the suffer of others, it that is true to i deserve to be happy? while other poeple mock me, hate me, detest me, why do i enjoy those feelings? in a why this thought \hads been there hunting me ever since my first suffering.
so i ask... should i be allowed to live?
do i deserve happiness?

tell me.. for anger holds thoes words to the computer. i know this is what i think deep down but after so long can on buttomless cup overflow?
damn it... somebody has my anwers. but no will tell me how to hold them.

why do the tears of others bring a smile to my face. tell me somebody.

the lone beaner