"pain cum slut"
its different to love someone and then hurt them. i know. ive been there and done that. am i wrong? somepeople think so. somethings i dont see myself doing it. Dom. Sub. what are they? are they people or are they a title? to me, they are both. a dom is a title and yet a person. a sub is a title and a person as well. we may never see eye to eye. but somewhere we do see each other.
over the past few years, my life was been ok. more or less. then why do things change when one leaves? on a trip or overseas. i think, that this year, loved or not.. it will change me. it was alrighty. people of a different place live and work with us. like when im out and moving with my tankers, side by side, i wonder... why are we doing this? and then i remember a day in history that i will never forget. 9/11. a day when we all cant forget. and with that one day, changed my ideas of war. im also here cause, well.. im nothing else. i want people to be proud of me. to understand that i do care for them. instead im looked down upon. i dont know why. what is it about me that people hate sooo much. like this past week...
rachy. my wife. whom i love without ever stopping. it seems as thu when i try, she turns me down. when i cry she hits me harder. like today. she told me that another man smacked her ass ( whom i will deal with when i get home.) and i wanted to know why. in the end.. she said good bye. like in the Good Bye voice. the one all people hate to hear. and sure i said a few mean things. but when a person pulls a double shift cause there are not enough people to rotate on protals or guard, he will be alittle tired, pissed to begin with. then why would you start with him? or like the other day, her dad beat her bro and sis, ( whom i also plan to deal with) and in the end, it was like in the one who beat them.
in the end... am i a dom or a sub? do i take orders from rachy? or am i not strong enough to control my sub? i know im no man, but when you walk over the grave of a dead man, your dead too.
here in iraq, im alone... all but the thoughts of my loved ones.
over the past few years, my life was been ok. more or less. then why do things change when one leaves? on a trip or overseas. i think, that this year, loved or not.. it will change me. it was alrighty. people of a different place live and work with us. like when im out and moving with my tankers, side by side, i wonder... why are we doing this? and then i remember a day in history that i will never forget. 9/11. a day when we all cant forget. and with that one day, changed my ideas of war. im also here cause, well.. im nothing else. i want people to be proud of me. to understand that i do care for them. instead im looked down upon. i dont know why. what is it about me that people hate sooo much. like this past week...
rachy. my wife. whom i love without ever stopping. it seems as thu when i try, she turns me down. when i cry she hits me harder. like today. she told me that another man smacked her ass ( whom i will deal with when i get home.) and i wanted to know why. in the end.. she said good bye. like in the Good Bye voice. the one all people hate to hear. and sure i said a few mean things. but when a person pulls a double shift cause there are not enough people to rotate on protals or guard, he will be alittle tired, pissed to begin with. then why would you start with him? or like the other day, her dad beat her bro and sis, ( whom i also plan to deal with) and in the end, it was like in the one who beat them.
in the end... am i a dom or a sub? do i take orders from rachy? or am i not strong enough to control my sub? i know im no man, but when you walk over the grave of a dead man, your dead too.
here in iraq, im alone... all but the thoughts of my loved ones.