(no subject)
It's 59 degrees outside, and people are wearing their winter jackets. And hats. And I even saw one lady wearing MITTENS. I know I feel like I'm going INSANE, but... weird. I feel really loopy. Like I've been smoking crack... but the only thing I've been smoking lately is a few puffs off a mini-cigar every few days. This friday will be the two week anniversary of the day my Grams died... WHAT? Yeah, it's all like a big jokedream that I'm waiting to wake up from. She was ready, we weren't. And then this past Sunday, my mom, my aunt, my dad, and my boyfriend all flew off in airplanes. So I'm lonely, and I'm overwhelmed with all the school work I have to catch up on... almost enough to make me just want to give up. But that would be such a waste of money and time. I just want to fast forward my life to a year from now when I'm in a new place with my baby. Our goodbyes are getting harder and harder... maybe because we're getting closer and closer, or maybe because this last time I was sick of goodbyes. I don't know, but I also don't know how my heart can handle this for another year. It's all just too much right now, and honestly all I want to do is sleep until the 16th when it's MY turn to fly away.