I hate my brain
I'm a little over two weeks into the new meds, and as my doctor reminded me today (as I blubbed in his office -- jeebus I hate blubbing but once again he kept me in the waiting room for over an hour past my appointment time hullo last straw and yes ms. nurse my blood pressure is a little high I wonder why that could be?), it takes four to six weeks for the medication to get through the blood-brain barrier.
Today was a surprise, because I have been doing better in general, and I had an absolutely fantastic weekend with friends (waves to
meri_oddities. So to crash and burn this morning came as a scary shock. Another day of work lost, which frightens me, despite having a fantastic boss, who gets it, and gives me constant assurances that my job is secure and we will work around whatever I need to do. This is a blessing many folks in my position do not have, and I'm damned grateful. Still, the layoff of 2004 looms large in my nightmares.
So, anyway, I'll be on this dosage for about another three weeks. The better-late-than-never doctor also gave me something for the muscle pain, which has been pretty nasty during this whole process. Took my first dose this afternoon, and it does seem to help. *crossed fingers* As soon as I'm stabilized, I am finding myself a new doctor. One that returns phone calls, refills prescriptions more often than three days a week, shows up on time for appointments and actually remembers that his patient has been fucking suicidal several times during this little process ("Suicidal?" he says with wide eyes when I tell him for the tenth time. Christ. Nice guy, but obviously not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.)
Oh. And if anyone feels inclined to scold me for "pill-popping" or for not getting enough sunlight or exercise? Don't. Really. I can't guarantee you'll receive any degree of civility in return.
Thanks for listening, all.
Today was a surprise, because I have been doing better in general, and I had an absolutely fantastic weekend with friends (waves to
meri_oddities. So to crash and burn this morning came as a scary shock. Another day of work lost, which frightens me, despite having a fantastic boss, who gets it, and gives me constant assurances that my job is secure and we will work around whatever I need to do. This is a blessing many folks in my position do not have, and I'm damned grateful. Still, the layoff of 2004 looms large in my nightmares.
So, anyway, I'll be on this dosage for about another three weeks. The better-late-than-never doctor also gave me something for the muscle pain, which has been pretty nasty during this whole process. Took my first dose this afternoon, and it does seem to help. *crossed fingers* As soon as I'm stabilized, I am finding myself a new doctor. One that returns phone calls, refills prescriptions more often than three days a week, shows up on time for appointments and actually remembers that his patient has been fucking suicidal several times during this little process ("Suicidal?" he says with wide eyes when I tell him for the tenth time. Christ. Nice guy, but obviously not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.)
Oh. And if anyone feels inclined to scold me for "pill-popping" or for not getting enough sunlight or exercise? Don't. Really. I can't guarantee you'll receive any degree of civility in return.
Thanks for listening, all.