While House-Sitting near Shibuya, Japan
It's been three weeks since I made my decision to break up with my ex-boyfriend, and immediately after that, my sister was here for two weeks, and now that she's gone, I can feel it directly in my chest: I'm SO ready to be back on the dating market.
Or, more honestly, I just want to make out with a Japanese boy.
So... I went shopping? (Unfortunately, only in the very traditional sense.) There's something about taking action that makes being unable to take action in other areas easier. It's true, I feel accomplished about getting so many groceries, and fairly cheap. But of course, on my walk, I was going through a popular area, after all. So naturally, I saw SO many cute boys. Some of them were with girlfriends. But mostly... there were pairs of cute boys walking around together! Ohmygoodness.
I love Japan. It feels like walking in a dream.
Although I admit that when I go shopping, I revert into "Tohru Honda" mode more often than is healthy. I don't know, I just have this image now that if I have my hair up and have a grocery bag in both hands, I should be surrounded by ridiculously good looking but troubled boys...? The specific effect tends to be stimulated by the melody of the traffic signal at the cross-walk. And then for about half an hour I'm humming the Fruits Basket
theme song underneath my breath...
However, today I had a flash of Sakura Kinomoto, brought upon by (unsurprisingly) the first blossoms unfolding on the cherry blossom trees here in Shimo-Kitazawa. I just couldn't walk without my chin lifted and my eyes staring up towards the branches in the grey sky, and in spite of such an awful color, I felt so happy. The Card Captor Sakura moment didn't come because of the fact that she is named after cherry blossoms, but in fact because the first time I had ever seen cherry blossom trees was when I was in fifth grade, watching an episode of Card Captors, and Sakura had been roller blading and saw them and it made her smile and laugh. I don't know, I guess that something about that seemed like such an ideal state, that it's now part of how I live. Whenever I am walking, riding my bike, my eyes are always moving, and when I see flowers I smile and let everything else fall away.
Increasingly I'm realizing how much anime has truly impacted the way I live my life, and quite honestly, I don't know if I'm set up for failure or perfect happiness...
So, wow! I just turned on the T.V., and on the topic of familiar music, what would it be but... POKEMON!!!! In Japanese, of course! And strangely enough, it's an old one, which I'd already seen in English years ago... Now seems an appropriate time to point out that Meowth's voice is utterly adorable, and the english voice acting once again does no justice at all.
It feels so good, having days when I can let my mind wander like this, when I can leave the dishes uncleaned, my hair unwashed, my clothes half on, my jacket on the stairs, and anything that I actually do, that matters, suddenly so distant.
The only way I can have this time is if I'm alone. But maybe, maybe it would be nice to have someone at the end of the day. It's too quiet in this two story home; the t.v. has been on for six hours and before that was my iPOD.
So close by, not even five minutes walk from this house, there are so many people my age hanging out at the restaurants and bars here in Shimo-Kitazawa. But, when I make eye contact, it doesn't feel like they even want me here sometimes. Sometimes I'm ignored. Sometimes, people talk to me and I'm realizing that - while not condescending - there's some sort of element of thinking that I'm an amusement; what a funny, unexpected, exotic person. If I was a Wanderer, I guess this would be easier. But this is my home as much as it is theirs.
And like I said - I want someone to come home to.
These are my thoughts throughout today.
Or, more honestly, I just want to make out with a Japanese boy.
So... I went shopping? (Unfortunately, only in the very traditional sense.) There's something about taking action that makes being unable to take action in other areas easier. It's true, I feel accomplished about getting so many groceries, and fairly cheap. But of course, on my walk, I was going through a popular area, after all. So naturally, I saw SO many cute boys. Some of them were with girlfriends. But mostly... there were pairs of cute boys walking around together! Ohmygoodness.
I love Japan. It feels like walking in a dream.
Although I admit that when I go shopping, I revert into "Tohru Honda" mode more often than is healthy. I don't know, I just have this image now that if I have my hair up and have a grocery bag in both hands, I should be surrounded by ridiculously good looking but troubled boys...? The specific effect tends to be stimulated by the melody of the traffic signal at the cross-walk. And then for about half an hour I'm humming the Fruits Basket
theme song underneath my breath...
However, today I had a flash of Sakura Kinomoto, brought upon by (unsurprisingly) the first blossoms unfolding on the cherry blossom trees here in Shimo-Kitazawa. I just couldn't walk without my chin lifted and my eyes staring up towards the branches in the grey sky, and in spite of such an awful color, I felt so happy. The Card Captor Sakura moment didn't come because of the fact that she is named after cherry blossoms, but in fact because the first time I had ever seen cherry blossom trees was when I was in fifth grade, watching an episode of Card Captors, and Sakura had been roller blading and saw them and it made her smile and laugh. I don't know, I guess that something about that seemed like such an ideal state, that it's now part of how I live. Whenever I am walking, riding my bike, my eyes are always moving, and when I see flowers I smile and let everything else fall away.
Increasingly I'm realizing how much anime has truly impacted the way I live my life, and quite honestly, I don't know if I'm set up for failure or perfect happiness...
So, wow! I just turned on the T.V., and on the topic of familiar music, what would it be but... POKEMON!!!! In Japanese, of course! And strangely enough, it's an old one, which I'd already seen in English years ago... Now seems an appropriate time to point out that Meowth's voice is utterly adorable, and the english voice acting once again does no justice at all.
It feels so good, having days when I can let my mind wander like this, when I can leave the dishes uncleaned, my hair unwashed, my clothes half on, my jacket on the stairs, and anything that I actually do, that matters, suddenly so distant.
The only way I can have this time is if I'm alone. But maybe, maybe it would be nice to have someone at the end of the day. It's too quiet in this two story home; the t.v. has been on for six hours and before that was my iPOD.
So close by, not even five minutes walk from this house, there are so many people my age hanging out at the restaurants and bars here in Shimo-Kitazawa. But, when I make eye contact, it doesn't feel like they even want me here sometimes. Sometimes I'm ignored. Sometimes, people talk to me and I'm realizing that - while not condescending - there's some sort of element of thinking that I'm an amusement; what a funny, unexpected, exotic person. If I was a Wanderer, I guess this would be easier. But this is my home as much as it is theirs.
And like I said - I want someone to come home to.
These are my thoughts throughout today.