Let not the point be misunderstood
It would probably need to be clarified, though, as it hasn't been yet: Kenny and I officially closed things up on the phone on Thursday, and today we saw each other again for the first time in three weeks. It was that same not-as-awkward-as-it-should-be thing, like when I came back from America in September, but it was still awkward because I knew that it was supposed to be, and sometimes he stood too close. No, I have not forgotten that he is a jerk, and completely ridiculous.
But most of the time I was okay.
Actually, let me rephrase that. I've been more than okay. I feel like I'm weaning myself off of breast-feeding. It was nice, and the familiarity of liking him is huge and a half, but damn if it isn't less and less appetizing to think about in retrospect? So, I'd definitely say that I've been doing well. Enough to be thinking about other people.
I've also been okay enough to know that it's not a good idea, because simply not wanting to date someone doesn't mean that you're over them. And while I might have been the queen of flings in high school, I'm in college now, and I've been on the other side of rebounds twice too many times already. I'm not looking for a relationship yet and had better not be looking for a while, at least until I've sorted some things out.
But maybe a little flirting won't hurt anyone in the meantime.
So, let us just hypothetically suggest that, if Shin and I were to get on the bus together, and by second coincidence, to leave together again, and he were to play my holy husband Joseph in the Christmas play, what of it? And if Ikuya were to send me mails with hearts in it, why wouldn't that be all right with me?
Let's not protest too much about everything going on, because I don't want to think about it, even though my mind is itching to think. Lately, focusing too hard and too long on a topic just hasn't been getting me very far. So as long as I don't do anything, I refuse to see a problem with continuing in my actions. I'm going to just keep saying that everything's okay, because I'm pretty sure that once the crack in me starts to fix itself up, I'll realize that it really is.
Also, unrelated, but I really ate too much olive oil this evening. I didn't even know you could do that but my stomach is cringing in its casing, and I keep hiccuping the stuff while it feels like it has risen in my stomach, it is completely gross.
But most of the time I was okay.
Actually, let me rephrase that. I've been more than okay. I feel like I'm weaning myself off of breast-feeding. It was nice, and the familiarity of liking him is huge and a half, but damn if it isn't less and less appetizing to think about in retrospect? So, I'd definitely say that I've been doing well. Enough to be thinking about other people.
I've also been okay enough to know that it's not a good idea, because simply not wanting to date someone doesn't mean that you're over them. And while I might have been the queen of flings in high school, I'm in college now, and I've been on the other side of rebounds twice too many times already. I'm not looking for a relationship yet and had better not be looking for a while, at least until I've sorted some things out.
But maybe a little flirting won't hurt anyone in the meantime.
So, let us just hypothetically suggest that, if Shin and I were to get on the bus together, and by second coincidence, to leave together again, and he were to play my holy husband Joseph in the Christmas play, what of it? And if Ikuya were to send me mails with hearts in it, why wouldn't that be all right with me?
Let's not protest too much about everything going on, because I don't want to think about it, even though my mind is itching to think. Lately, focusing too hard and too long on a topic just hasn't been getting me very far. So as long as I don't do anything, I refuse to see a problem with continuing in my actions. I'm going to just keep saying that everything's okay, because I'm pretty sure that once the crack in me starts to fix itself up, I'll realize that it really is.
Also, unrelated, but I really ate too much olive oil this evening. I didn't even know you could do that but my stomach is cringing in its casing, and I keep hiccuping the stuff while it feels like it has risen in my stomach, it is completely gross.