"2 RBIs, but K'd in his first at bat"
Okay, so I had this huge, epic, flail-filled post that I had originally started "Red Sox/Yankees weekend? Sure, I'd love to!" For those of you who managed to avoid the inevitable "5 games in 7 days RIVALRY WOAH" hype (sorry about that, by the way), that was on the Friday before the weekend series, which was the 11th. Or ten days ago. The Red Sox Continuous Schedule of Updating Canon makes it hard to keep up.
SO. I will break down the Post of Epic that ended up being 3 pages long into bullet points!
- Julian Tavarez: Crazy! Awesome! Crazy awesome! (he had his moments, anyway...)
- Jeb the Intern: MAD CRUSH. I LOVE HIM AND HIS HUGE EARS!!
- Baseball Husband: currently the best hitter in the AL. Also, has rightfully earned the title of Kevin Youkilis, Master of The Corners.
- OH MAN MIKE LOWELL: COME BACK SOON, THE INFIELD IS LACKING THAT CERTAIN QUALITY. ("Clooneyosity") (P.S. thank you for leading the Papi's Bat Exorcism.)
- Big Papi: not a knee problem, not an eye problem, not a mental problem - victim of a reverse-curse. All better now. See also: exorcism!
- Commander Kickass of the Fuck Yeah Brigade: hunting some Yankees. plotting his revenge. totally wrote about that in his diary.
- Kevin Cash: not yet cause for starting up the Dougie Signal. YET. (Oh, come on, like another last minute cross-country plane ride and triumphant arrival at Fenway 7 minutes before the first pitch wouldn't be seriously awesome.)
- Jacoby Ellsbury: still hot. 15 for 15 on stolen base attempts in the majors, which only makes his speedy little ass more attractive.
- Manny Ramirez: the hair brings about the home runs. Also, loves everyone, even Professor Farnsworth.
- Pedroia the Destroyah: You need a pinch-hit 2 RBI double plus an extra base on a throwing error? Yeah, I can do that.
- Mike Timlin: please get better so I don't have to choose between sentimental "keep him!" vs. logical "retire old man!" camps!
- The Bullpen Band: still awesome!
- Opening Day (yeah, we're going back that far): I CRIED. A LOT. Johnny Pesky: BAMF. Bill Buckner, I was never mad at you.
- Sean "The Mayor" Casey: quickly moving up the ranks of Baseball Boyfriends, and clearly vying for a coveted top ten spot.
- Jonathan Papelbon: earned PERMANENT top ten status after staying psyched for the two hour rain delay (like that was hard for him, right?), and striking A-Rod out on three pitches. ONE TWO THREE. I would have fallen off my bed in glee if I weren't too busy passing out from the sheer intensity. (And star of the butt-slappingly good new Dunkin Donuts commercial. Worth mentioning: stunt butt! And because it's too good to bulletpoint: Dusty thinks Pap's acting was terrible, and he's very glad that he didn't have any lines, while Paps contends that when you have his acting skills, you don't need lines. Also, a clear case of the secondbaseman calling the closer a bad actor, you know?)
I am now 87% sure that Jeter and A-Rod were really truly boyfriends at some point. Sleepovers. "Relationship" rather than "friendship". And then A-Rod moved across the country, and the honeymoon was over. ... I kind of mean it, guys. I think they were IN LUV. (And they are still at It's Complicated status, you know they are. They have matching injuries! They are MFEO!) I am shipping this and I feel very uncomfortable! HELP. If there is a fandom, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T POINT ME AT IT. (Also, beating the Yankees without Jeter: still fun, but not as satisfying.)
TOTALLY RELATED: I finished The Dreyfus Affair, which receives TWO THUMBS WAY UP. Features the fantastic inner monologue of Randy Dreyfus, presumptive MVP shortstop, who just happens to be falling in love with his double-play partner, secondbaseman D. J. Pickett. Gay baseball players in love! An entire book of Baseball As A Sex Metaphor (the almost-universal one, it seems). Lots and lots of discussion of the significance of some brass plaque on a wall in New York. The involvement of the President (who is clearly meant to be Bush the Senior in all his homophobic but baseball-loving glory) in MLB affairs. (heh, affairs.) Good, old fashioned base-running basebrawls in the World Series. I giggled like a crazy person through most of it, and teared up in a couple places. It's now on the Must Find Second Hand list.
I'm trying to keep my Red Sox talk to a reasonable level, but I'm thinking about having a Red Sox friending meme, so that I have people to be all JULIO LUGO WENT 4-for-4? ON WHAT PLANET? with. (he totally did, guys. I don't believe it either.)
In the last couple weeks, I've watched: the entirety of Gossip Girl and Reaper, the second season of Dexter, 30-odd episodes of ANTM, and rewatched the first season of Joan of Arcadia, which means more bullet points!
- Dexter: DOAKES!! NO!! D: Deb/Lundy: eww. Lila: HOT. Dexter: still hot. Plot: not as much fun as the Ice Truck Killer. Someone finding out what Dexter really is: tons of fun, and should happen way more often.
- Gossip Girl: Dan! Chuck/Blair! Dan! Nate: Boooo. Blair: my new style icon! Serena: not so much, but fantastic hair! Plot: ... plot?
- Reaper: Sam! Ben! The gay demons next door! Sam/Andi! Sam! Sock! Awesomeness! My favorite out of the bunch. And new episodes coming right up!
- ANTM: I think if someone had just pointed out the obvious - it's an hour of the same model drama that happens in the background of Project Runway - I would have watched this a long time ago. Doesn't mean I plan to start really watching the show, but I'll tune in next time they do a marathon day.
- Joan: I forgot just how much I loved this show. It's like FNL and WW in that it consistently makes me cry, but it's also overwhelming me with the awkward boy in adolescent love, so I love it in spite of the tears. (Total lie: I love it BECAUSE of the tears.) OH ADAM. Cute Boy God: not as cute as I remember.
- HIMYM: OMG KISSING! CANON IT'S CANON THERE WAS KISSING!
I have, like, 5 memes to do, but I need to go to bed more than I need to keep up with the memes, however fun they are. Next time!
SO. I will break down the Post of Epic that ended up being 3 pages long into bullet points!
- Julian Tavarez: Crazy! Awesome! Crazy awesome! (he had his moments, anyway...)
- Jeb the Intern: MAD CRUSH. I LOVE HIM AND HIS HUGE EARS!!
- Baseball Husband: currently the best hitter in the AL. Also, has rightfully earned the title of Kevin Youkilis, Master of The Corners.
- OH MAN MIKE LOWELL: COME BACK SOON, THE INFIELD IS LACKING THAT CERTAIN QUALITY. ("Clooneyosity") (P.S. thank you for leading the Papi's Bat Exorcism.)
- Big Papi: not a knee problem, not an eye problem, not a mental problem - victim of a reverse-curse. All better now. See also: exorcism!
- Commander Kickass of the Fuck Yeah Brigade: hunting some Yankees. plotting his revenge. totally wrote about that in his diary.
- Kevin Cash: not yet cause for starting up the Dougie Signal. YET. (Oh, come on, like another last minute cross-country plane ride and triumphant arrival at Fenway 7 minutes before the first pitch wouldn't be seriously awesome.)
- Jacoby Ellsbury: still hot. 15 for 15 on stolen base attempts in the majors, which only makes his speedy little ass more attractive.
- Manny Ramirez: the hair brings about the home runs. Also, loves everyone, even Professor Farnsworth.
- Pedroia the Destroyah: You need a pinch-hit 2 RBI double plus an extra base on a throwing error? Yeah, I can do that.
- Mike Timlin: please get better so I don't have to choose between sentimental "keep him!" vs. logical "retire old man!" camps!
- The Bullpen Band: still awesome!
- Opening Day (yeah, we're going back that far): I CRIED. A LOT. Johnny Pesky: BAMF. Bill Buckner, I was never mad at you.
- Sean "The Mayor" Casey: quickly moving up the ranks of Baseball Boyfriends, and clearly vying for a coveted top ten spot.
- Jonathan Papelbon: earned PERMANENT top ten status after staying psyched for the two hour rain delay (like that was hard for him, right?), and striking A-Rod out on three pitches. ONE TWO THREE. I would have fallen off my bed in glee if I weren't too busy passing out from the sheer intensity. (And star of the butt-slappingly good new Dunkin Donuts commercial. Worth mentioning: stunt butt! And because it's too good to bulletpoint: Dusty thinks Pap's acting was terrible, and he's very glad that he didn't have any lines, while Paps contends that when you have his acting skills, you don't need lines. Also, a clear case of the secondbaseman calling the closer a bad actor, you know?)
I am now 87% sure that Jeter and A-Rod were really truly boyfriends at some point. Sleepovers. "Relationship" rather than "friendship". And then A-Rod moved across the country, and the honeymoon was over. ... I kind of mean it, guys. I think they were IN LUV. (And they are still at It's Complicated status, you know they are. They have matching injuries! They are MFEO!) I am shipping this and I feel very uncomfortable! HELP. If there is a fandom, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T POINT ME AT IT. (Also, beating the Yankees without Jeter: still fun, but not as satisfying.)
TOTALLY RELATED: I finished The Dreyfus Affair, which receives TWO THUMBS WAY UP. Features the fantastic inner monologue of Randy Dreyfus, presumptive MVP shortstop, who just happens to be falling in love with his double-play partner, secondbaseman D. J. Pickett. Gay baseball players in love! An entire book of Baseball As A Sex Metaphor (the almost-universal one, it seems). Lots and lots of discussion of the significance of some brass plaque on a wall in New York. The involvement of the President (who is clearly meant to be Bush the Senior in all his homophobic but baseball-loving glory) in MLB affairs. (heh, affairs.) Good, old fashioned base-running basebrawls in the World Series. I giggled like a crazy person through most of it, and teared up in a couple places. It's now on the Must Find Second Hand list.
I'm trying to keep my Red Sox talk to a reasonable level, but I'm thinking about having a Red Sox friending meme, so that I have people to be all JULIO LUGO WENT 4-for-4? ON WHAT PLANET? with. (he totally did, guys. I don't believe it either.)
In the last couple weeks, I've watched: the entirety of Gossip Girl and Reaper, the second season of Dexter, 30-odd episodes of ANTM, and rewatched the first season of Joan of Arcadia, which means more bullet points!
- Dexter: DOAKES!! NO!! D: Deb/Lundy: eww. Lila: HOT. Dexter: still hot. Plot: not as much fun as the Ice Truck Killer. Someone finding out what Dexter really is: tons of fun, and should happen way more often.
- Gossip Girl: Dan! Chuck/Blair! Dan! Nate: Boooo. Blair: my new style icon! Serena: not so much, but fantastic hair! Plot: ... plot?
- Reaper: Sam! Ben! The gay demons next door! Sam/Andi! Sam! Sock! Awesomeness! My favorite out of the bunch. And new episodes coming right up!
- ANTM: I think if someone had just pointed out the obvious - it's an hour of the same model drama that happens in the background of Project Runway - I would have watched this a long time ago. Doesn't mean I plan to start really watching the show, but I'll tune in next time they do a marathon day.
- Joan: I forgot just how much I loved this show. It's like FNL and WW in that it consistently makes me cry, but it's also overwhelming me with the awkward boy in adolescent love, so I love it in spite of the tears. (Total lie: I love it BECAUSE of the tears.) OH ADAM. Cute Boy God: not as cute as I remember.
- HIMYM: OMG KISSING! CANON IT'S CANON THERE WAS KISSING!
I have, like, 5 memes to do, but I need to go to bed more than I need to keep up with the memes, however fun they are. Next time!