Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
So Ive been back for about 2 days now, and well I havnt actually done anything really... Im just sitting, waiting, wishing...
Im sitting, just pondering all the things Ive done so far this year. Whether or not Ive actually done something, become something more, how many of those crazy resolutions actually got solved... but mostly as far as what I did do, the main reason for actually doing it. 1. Survive another year: Did that one, WooHoo!!... give the man his prize "more resolutions" Yay! i guess I cant complain. I made it through school, even if my grades flop, I made it through and that in itself is worth something for me. 2. Say Whats on Your Mind: Okay, Okay so I didnt do this one at all, as I keep thinking that the 'fake me' is really someone else, but then again if I keep showing the 'fake me', then maybe the 'real me' and fake me are one in the same.
3. Tell Shana how I feel: Well I did this one! but not the way that I had hoped to do it. I really did want to do it in person, but her time and my time were kind of squeezed (ok... fine, just her time) and I didnt get a chance to have real alone time. Maybe I should have just pulled her to the side, and showed some back-bone for once... meh. But anyways, its out there. But why did I do it?? seriously, why? (any ideas) I mean did I just want her to know, just to know? Im not sure if she's actually going to do anything with that kind of information, and truthfully I dont know what to do from here. In all truth Id like to talk to her about it, email, phone-call, something... but Im just not sure if I could, Id hate for it to be weird (see how this works with the second not being complete).. a suggestion would be nice?
Im waiting, cause I dont know what to do, maybe she'll call one day, or maybe Ill end up calling her. How much time do you give someone alone before you want to bring it up or whatever, and if I do talk to her, Do I bring it up right away or do I just act like normal, and then just gravitate towards it. Or maybe she really is distancing herself from me, she said that she'd do that if someone said that they liked her, so I guess I shouldnt be surprised, really.
So its kinda pathetic... hehe... but Im wishing, I dont believe in God too much, but if he granted one wish it would be for her to contact me... No, not fall in love with me, or see me in a new light. Just talk to me, all that other stuff Ill leave to the tetris pieces. I just want to talk to her and get her take on the whole thing.
Out! Any thoughts?
~Courtland
Im sitting, just pondering all the things Ive done so far this year. Whether or not Ive actually done something, become something more, how many of those crazy resolutions actually got solved... but mostly as far as what I did do, the main reason for actually doing it. 1. Survive another year: Did that one, WooHoo!!... give the man his prize "more resolutions" Yay! i guess I cant complain. I made it through school, even if my grades flop, I made it through and that in itself is worth something for me. 2. Say Whats on Your Mind: Okay, Okay so I didnt do this one at all, as I keep thinking that the 'fake me' is really someone else, but then again if I keep showing the 'fake me', then maybe the 'real me' and fake me are one in the same.
3. Tell Shana how I feel: Well I did this one! but not the way that I had hoped to do it. I really did want to do it in person, but her time and my time were kind of squeezed (ok... fine, just her time) and I didnt get a chance to have real alone time. Maybe I should have just pulled her to the side, and showed some back-bone for once... meh. But anyways, its out there. But why did I do it?? seriously, why? (any ideas) I mean did I just want her to know, just to know? Im not sure if she's actually going to do anything with that kind of information, and truthfully I dont know what to do from here. In all truth Id like to talk to her about it, email, phone-call, something... but Im just not sure if I could, Id hate for it to be weird (see how this works with the second not being complete).. a suggestion would be nice?
Im waiting, cause I dont know what to do, maybe she'll call one day, or maybe Ill end up calling her. How much time do you give someone alone before you want to bring it up or whatever, and if I do talk to her, Do I bring it up right away or do I just act like normal, and then just gravitate towards it. Or maybe she really is distancing herself from me, she said that she'd do that if someone said that they liked her, so I guess I shouldnt be surprised, really.
So its kinda pathetic... hehe... but Im wishing, I dont believe in God too much, but if he granted one wish it would be for her to contact me... No, not fall in love with me, or see me in a new light. Just talk to me, all that other stuff Ill leave to the tetris pieces. I just want to talk to her and get her take on the whole thing.
Out! Any thoughts?
~Courtland