Day 17: Lunch

[hopeless_havoc]

Havoc gave his nurse a smile before heading strait for the food. He was surprised to see he was the first one here. But that meant no line for food. And that was a good thing in Havoc's mind. He grabbed a tray, piling it with whatever he could, and took a seat facing the entrance so as to see the colonel or Hughes as soon as they came in

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[muted_flame]

Personal? Well, Roy had to wonder at that, though it was obvious that Lust wasn't going to get into any detail. He figured it was between the two of them. He'd never seen the two intimate in public before and Scar hardly acted as if he thought of her that way, but... Well, he and Hughes were discreet, it was possible they were the same. Despite that, he didn't think that was it. No, it had to be more complicated than that.

"A lot of women aren't allowed to reach their full potential," he agreed with a sage nod. "There's a decided lack of them in the military," he said, seeming a bit put out by that. His miniskirt idea was almost pointless if there weren't enough women to wear them. He frowned at her comment about humans. "What do you mean?"

Laughing softly, he shook his head. "For me, it's usually the other way around. The pretty ones gravitate to me, while the smart ones no doubt realize I'm more than a pretty face." Getting involved with him meant dealing with a whole lot of baggage, which is why he kept his dates short and impersonal--and never returned phone calls.

[lustful_thing]

"More's the pity. Woman are, when it comes down to it, more capable in certain areas than men. But it works to the advantage of those women who see beyond their own apron strings. Women, Colonel, are not taken seriously. They - we - are seen as simply pretty faces. And beautiful women are taken even less seriously. Men see a pretty face and pleasing figure and don't dwell on whether or not that pretty face holds intelligence. Women, when it comes down to it, are more dangerous then men." And it was something she was grateful for. Men were much easier to manipulate when they didn't suspect.

"Hmm?" Lust tilted her head and lifted her hand, reaching out touch her fingers to the temple beside Mustang's violet eye. "You can't claim to be completely human, Colonel. More human than me, more human than anything else, but not entirely. Not with that. And you're far, far more than simply a pretty face." Lust's voice dropped with a husky chuckle. "But then again, so am I."

[muted_flame]

Roy listened attentively to her speech. Everything she was saying was true. He was guilty enough of falling for nicely-shaped eyes and--well, other things, though many other men could be much worse. He thought of Havoc, who had easily been falling into Lust's trap. His subordinate might call him a hypocrite for getting so close to the homunculus, but the difference was that he would know if she was trying any sort of manipulation. He wouldn't fall for it.

"I agree completely." Hawkeye, for one, had seen beyond her so-called apron strings and she was a better soldier than most. While she was definitely pretty, she made it a point not to flaunt that--the women that did, that showed off what they had while hiding their deceit and cunning behind sweet smiles--those were the ones that had to be watched.

When her fingers touched at the side of his face, Roy almost recoiled. She wasn't doing any harm, though, so he merely listened, smiling at her words and her tone. From the way she spoke, it seemed she hadn't figured out the extent to which he had changed. He'd like it to stay that way for the moment. His transformation could prove to be a weakness if she knew how to take advantage of it. "So you are," he responded, his own tone dropping into something a bit more suggestive, but hardly to the extent that hers did. "And while I might not be human now, that is how I started off." And that was enough. He knew what it was to be human--and he didn't want to forget.

[lustful_thing]

"I started out as human, too," Lust said softly, trailing her fingers along the colonel's cheek and jawline before letting them drop to the table between them. "But I suppose our circumstances are far too different to be compared. Not that I imagine you mind." She chuckled again and shook her head. He didn't seem very bothered with his eye, perhaps he'd grown accustomed to it and realized the small enhancements he'd told her of were useful.

"A pity we can't have this conversation in private," she said, unable to resist. This was what she had been made for, and though she fought against her nature, she always returned to it. It was all she knew.

[muted_flame]

Those fingers that he knew could so easily become claws sliding down his skin left him a bit unnerved. Roy didn't want to get himself into any serious trouble, though he supposed a bit of harmless touching hardly mattered. If she enjoyed it, he could handle something that tame. "You don't remember, though, do you? Not very well, at least. You think of yourself as a homunculus before a human, right?" He thought of himself as a human before a homunculus, but left that unsaid; she didn't need to know that he was even close to considering himself to actually be one.

He frowned and shook his head. "I'm not completely okay with it, either," he warned. "I wanted to get out of this unmarred." Even if they could be considered "good" changes, they were still changes.

Her comment was unnecessary and most would probably find it inappropriate, but he understood it was part of what she was. That didn't mean he actually responded, though.

[lustful_thing]

"I remember more since coming here," Lust admitted, slowly but seemingly casually. "Bits and pieces, scents, sights, voices, conversations. They're all in here, somewhere." She tapped her own temple. The memories were buried, hidden, pushed away because they were human things. "It's a strange thing, to remember a life you never actually lived. Or perhaps I did, I don't know. But yes, I consider myself a homunculus before a human. And I will, until they manage to strip me of everything and leave me human." Which she supposed they had the power to do.

"You are unmarred, Colonel. You're not leaving behind any limbs. Your wits and senses are in tact. I would consider that more than reasonably unscathed."

[muted_flame]

It was discomforting to think that all homunculi had those memories somewhere within them. That meant that Sloth, the homunculus born from Edward and Alphonse's mistake, had, in a way, been their mother. He felt that was a thought he'd keep to himself. They were still children, unable to handle that sort of thing. He hadn't seen either of them for a while, but did his best not to worry. They were children, yes, but they could generally take care of themselves.

"Even if you are completely human physically, won't you always think and feel like a homunculus--like Lust?" he asked, his tone more curious than confrontational. He wasn't meaning to upset her--it was pure interest that had him asking questions.

"I'm still different from what I was before. As much as people keep telling me I'm human..." He sighed and looked down at the table. He wasn't. Not anymore. Not when he could cover his fingers--and with a bit of practice, most likely more than that--with black carbon.

[lustful_thing]

"I don't know," Lust admitted with a shrug. "I've wondered. If I become human, and all my human memories return, will I still be Lust? Or will those memories override these memories, the memories of my homunculus life. And if they don't, how strong an influence will the woman I was be over the woman I am? Will I be Lust, or her? She lived longer than I have, she has more memories than I do." They were questions she'd long pondered and hadn't come close to answering.

"Different is not always a bad thing. You have both eyes. You have a difference you can easily hide. Wear your eye-patch and no one would ever know."

[muted_flame]

Everything she brought up was something worth considering and wondering over, but not anything that Roy could provide a concrete answer for. It definitely made him even more interested in the subject, but he hardly had the materials to research. "I suppose the only way you'll find out is if any of that actually happens." It was hard to know if that would be good or bad--her remembering and becoming human. He supposed they'd have to wait and see.

While he understood what she was saying--that he shouldn't be upset about this, as it was in his favor--it wasn't just having two eyes again. So much more came with it, and there was definitely more he had to cover up. Not that she knew that. He sighed and leaned forward slightly, his arms resting on the tabletop. "There's no point. I have it, so I may as well use it. Still, I don't like the connotations."

[lustful_thing]

"I suppose so." Lust flicked her nails casually, as though reminding herself she was still a homunculus. Somewhat.

"Connotations?" She lifted her eyebrows and laughed. "Colonel, it's you alchemists that have given we homunculi a bad name. While I admit that some of us certainly weren't model citizens, you can hardly paint every one of us with the same brush. Do remember - those of us who trespassed against the laws of civilization were doing so on a human's orders."

[muted_flame]

Roy leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair. "I know," he grumbled. "I know. The ones that are truly at fault are those that made the homunculi." Alchemists. The ones that made the sins.

"But homunculi killed my friend, though I know that it was under orders. And the Fuhrer..." His teeth grit in disdain. He didn't even want to think about that man, who had wrapped his own hands around his son's throat and squeezed until the boy stopped breathing.

"I know it's close-minded, but at least I'm starting to realize that." He was getting better. Really. He had to, if he was going to accept what was happening to him.

[lustful_thing]

"Homunculi killed your friend on the order of a human," Lust flushed out his statement, as gently as she could. "An alchemist. And Pride was one of the worst of the lot. I sometimes wonder if he was ever human." She shook her head. She'd always hated that pompous creature, and he'd done nothing to endear himself to her. Teasing her, baiting her, chastising her as though she were a child...

And hauling her back to her Master when she'd worked up the courage to run.

"I do understand it's difficult to change your world view. And I... do appreciate your efforts, Colonel." It was difficult for her to say the last, and her tone attested to that, but she felt she should offer him that at least.

[muted_flame]

"I can agree to that," Roy said, eyes narrowing in utter loathing as he thought about the Fuhrer. He had acted like he'd truly cared at the funeral, but there was nothing there. It was all fake--even his feelings for his family, all of it. Roy made sure he didn't get too riled up over a man that wasn't even present. He'd killed him and ended it. That was that.

He nodded, glad to know that she could at least agree that an effort was being made. "I apologize in advance for whatever I might say," he said, rather awkwardly. He knew this wouldn't be the last time he'd let his prejudices get in the way, especially as he was trying to deal with the fact that he was half-and-half now.

[lustful_thing]

"You have no need to apologize, Colonel." Lust shrugged. "You're an alchemist. You've been taught that what I am is evil, the worst sin that could ever grace the face of the earth. It isn't easy to change that way of thinking." She paused and titled her head, watching him closely.

"Do you know why I've taken the lover that I have, Colonel? I'm sure you have your assumptions, but I wonder if you truly understand what the appeal is to me."

She was rather intent on her conversation with Roy, her attention riveted to him and not the surrounding room. Which, all things considered, was probably for the best.

[muted_flame]

It was true. Human transmutation was the greatest taboo in alchemy. Homunculi were the result of breaking that rule. Then again, he'd gotten dangerously close to performing it himself, so he wasn't as unfamiliar with the topic as most. "Just because I've been taught a certain way doesn't mean it's right, though." That was like following an order just because you were a soldier. He didn't like that mindless type of thinking, which is why he wanted to give this a try.

Her question seemed out of the blue and he had to wonder what the point of it was, but he figured he could humor her so long as he kept on his toes. "You mean that boy?" he asked. He had found it rather disturbing that she'd adopted someone so young into her arms, but it was hardly his place to speak of it. "I can't say I know why, no."

[lustful_thing]

"No, it doesn't mean it's right. But it means it's a large part of how you look at the world, and it isn't changed overnight." Lust nodded her head, acknowledging his point.

"His name is Haru. I am with him because he has no prejudices. He knows what I am, and he doesn't care. He doesn't even think twice about it. He doesn't see me as a creature or an imitation. He wants me because of who I am, not because I offered him anything or because he thinks he has something to gain from an intimate relationship with me. He wants me for me." She lowered her eyes, that sickening guilt twisting in her stomach once more.

"And he isn't a 'boy'," she added, somewhat aggravated but mostly distracted.