Looking Back: A Year Later
"so now that I'm face to face with the demon I have to take steps to get better...
I have to find a way reconnect with God. I know he's still there we're just fighting right now.
I have to focus on what's important to me.
and most of all I have to find a way to make myself better." --me, 12-5-05
It was a year ago today that I hit rock bottom with my depression. It seems strange to me to think that I ever was that way, yet just over a week ago it reared it's ugly head again for a night.
I have grown, changed, transformed so much since then. God has been faithful to me and I to Him and I have fought the demons that were in my mind.
Instead of dwelling on last year's darkness, I want to focus on this years light. I didn't make a list for thanksgiving of all things I'm grateful for so I'm going to do that now.
I'm thankful for
*Erik--(come on guys, you knew he'd be at the top of my list) baby, I love you and could never thank God enough for putting you in my life. You are amazing and have changed me in many ways over the past six months. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
*Emily Joy-I feel like I'm thank ful for myself. I love you to death and am still in shock you little floosy. Thanks for being in a band with me and listening to me talk about Erik for hours upon hours. thanks for approving Erik. :)
*camp
*Cast of Number the Stars- we survived the most akward play ever written and came out on top (thanks in part to the yellow couch, I imagine) thanks for all the late nights and inside jokes.
*Rochester College
*my crazy family
*Katherine-thanks for listen being my little sister
*Candida-thanks for being my slightly older, amazing sister whose footsteps I'd be lucky to follow in
*Tia-thank you for being a great mom :) and thanks for having all the lifeguards stay at your house ;)
*Tia's basement
*Christian fellowship at camp
*the closeness I have felt with God as of late
*Amy Jahn's marriage
*my health
*my house
*MY HAPPINESS
*my improved self image
*my voice
*the gift of song
*the opportunity to teach sunday school
*many many other things and people