Discernment
Tonight I had my first discernment meeting at the friary this evening. I met my other three friends just outside the door, the four of of us converging from different directions just before 4:00. Basil stood inside the friary, laughing and pointing at us as we fumbled with the locked door. Eventually, he let us in.
We entered and met up with Father Dave and Brother Chris, exchanging the usual sarcasm-laden greetings, asking how things were, what the plan was, etc.
Then, we went to prayer, following the usual routine: out-of-tune hymn, psalms, and reading--then we mixed it up. Basil opened the floor for reflection on what discernment was to us, what steps we needed to take, what information we wanted to know. I'm a newbie, so I felt lost.
Why do I feel this call to discern? I kept thinking to myself. What exactly is it? The questions rolled and bubbled as I tried to form an answer.
The best I got: purpose. I think we all want to discern our purpose, what we precisely want to do with our lives--why we're here. I feel like I'm doing the right thing through this discernment of faith. It's the first time I've felt like I'm following a purpose I want to follow, not a pre-set path built by others. I know it may not last, yet it it makes sense now.
But, I have questions.
Is God calling me? Or is it just harmonious with my personality? The reading brought up the story of Samuel and Ely. Samuel heard God, yet he simply thought it was Ely talking to him. Eventually Ely caught on and told Samuel to say, "Speak, God, you're servant is listening." So, it took someone else to recognize God's call in Samuel.
I have a rocky road with God. That's why I'm skeptical. But, two weekends ago I really felt something. Fr. Dan Reilly from the mountain described this feeling once of being lifted up, held almost. It felt like that, along with a firm conviction to follow this path--at least for now. It's difficult to describe. It was mere feeling, ethereal thoughts, gut feelings--stuff I usually ignore.
So, how can I discern if this was a call or a ripple of emotion?
I can pray, learn, and listen, they said. And, I have a community of Elys to help clarify my call. I'm actually going to be paired up with a single friar to act as a personal adviser of sorts. It's the first time I've had one. And, it's the first time I've been in a group to talk about such things.
We discussed all this, the friars and the discerners adding input and telling stories, for about an hour, finishing prayer with the Canticle of Mary and the Our Father.
Then, we all joked about I Love Lucy over a bowl of lobster bisque.
We entered and met up with Father Dave and Brother Chris, exchanging the usual sarcasm-laden greetings, asking how things were, what the plan was, etc.
Then, we went to prayer, following the usual routine: out-of-tune hymn, psalms, and reading--then we mixed it up. Basil opened the floor for reflection on what discernment was to us, what steps we needed to take, what information we wanted to know. I'm a newbie, so I felt lost.
Why do I feel this call to discern? I kept thinking to myself. What exactly is it? The questions rolled and bubbled as I tried to form an answer.
The best I got: purpose. I think we all want to discern our purpose, what we precisely want to do with our lives--why we're here. I feel like I'm doing the right thing through this discernment of faith. It's the first time I've felt like I'm following a purpose I want to follow, not a pre-set path built by others. I know it may not last, yet it it makes sense now.
But, I have questions.
Is God calling me? Or is it just harmonious with my personality? The reading brought up the story of Samuel and Ely. Samuel heard God, yet he simply thought it was Ely talking to him. Eventually Ely caught on and told Samuel to say, "Speak, God, you're servant is listening." So, it took someone else to recognize God's call in Samuel.
I have a rocky road with God. That's why I'm skeptical. But, two weekends ago I really felt something. Fr. Dan Reilly from the mountain described this feeling once of being lifted up, held almost. It felt like that, along with a firm conviction to follow this path--at least for now. It's difficult to describe. It was mere feeling, ethereal thoughts, gut feelings--stuff I usually ignore.
So, how can I discern if this was a call or a ripple of emotion?
I can pray, learn, and listen, they said. And, I have a community of Elys to help clarify my call. I'm actually going to be paired up with a single friar to act as a personal adviser of sorts. It's the first time I've had one. And, it's the first time I've been in a group to talk about such things.
We discussed all this, the friars and the discerners adding input and telling stories, for about an hour, finishing prayer with the Canticle of Mary and the Our Father.
Then, we all joked about I Love Lucy over a bowl of lobster bisque.