cracked-out shark-jumping awesome, you say?
I just finished reading the TWoP recap of the Apprentice 6 premiere, and I can't help but regret my decision not to watch season six just a teeny tiny itty bitty bit. Jacob, if I was wearing a hat, it would most definitely be off in deference to you, Sir.
Trump drives his penis car to his penis house, which looks like a Disneyland castle caught mid-coitus with a Newport Group McMansion, and both the car and the house look like Viagra spam emails, which is what they are. "C!al!s" and "Be a Real Man" and "Your Going To Love Breaking Down The Walls With Youre Huge C*ck," and all that noise.
Melania comes out to meet him with the baby. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but: she is also a Zsa Zsa Gabor drag queen slash robot. I'm totally all about female drag queens like this, robots too, and I think it's amazing and very conceptual to go all crazy on your own gender like that. However, you have to watch out for -- and I have run into this personally, and I do believe it's what's happening here -- something I call your Gender Viet Nam, which in Melania's case means you end up married to Donald Trump. You have got to have an exit strategy or this could happen to you, too. He kisses her and the baby sweetly, and then starts screaming into the camera again about all the things he just screamed into the camera about. While he is doing this, Melania stares into the camera with a darkness in her. I have fucked up my gender performance art, her eyes are saying. My personal Gender Saigon has fallen to the white man. Please help me. You will not help me? Will no one help me? Then you all will burn. That is what her face is saying.
So from the webisode it's clear that the go-go boys were his idea, and in fact, the first half of the adorable webisode is Derek and other teammates running around West Hollywood, tracking down hottie after go-go boy after lithe meth addict, and asking for a few minutes of their time, and if they like taking off their clothes. Or, as I call it, "Just another Tuesday."
Shirtless hotties at a car wash! How is it that I did not anticipate this?
I would post more but I would probably end up posting almost the entire thing if I wanted to get all my favourite parts in here. Also particularly noteworthy: the description of Trump's hair and the paraphrased boardroom transcripts (especially the one with the broom proverb).
Anyway, I said I wasn't going to watch this season, partly because I'm sick of the show but mostly because Donald Trump is a yooge tool and I refuse to reinforce his tool-like behaviour by tuning in. Not that I'm going to bring about a revolution by not watching, but you know what I mean.
Maybe I'll just read the recaps.
In other news, I go to my first ASL class tonight and I am nervous as all hell. I have to go buy the book before class too and I'm all worried that I'm going to be late because I don't know my way around. *frets*
Trump drives his penis car to his penis house, which looks like a Disneyland castle caught mid-coitus with a Newport Group McMansion, and both the car and the house look like Viagra spam emails, which is what they are. "C!al!s" and "Be a Real Man" and "Your Going To Love Breaking Down The Walls With Youre Huge C*ck," and all that noise.
Melania comes out to meet him with the baby. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but: she is also a Zsa Zsa Gabor drag queen slash robot. I'm totally all about female drag queens like this, robots too, and I think it's amazing and very conceptual to go all crazy on your own gender like that. However, you have to watch out for -- and I have run into this personally, and I do believe it's what's happening here -- something I call your Gender Viet Nam, which in Melania's case means you end up married to Donald Trump. You have got to have an exit strategy or this could happen to you, too. He kisses her and the baby sweetly, and then starts screaming into the camera again about all the things he just screamed into the camera about. While he is doing this, Melania stares into the camera with a darkness in her. I have fucked up my gender performance art, her eyes are saying. My personal Gender Saigon has fallen to the white man. Please help me. You will not help me? Will no one help me? Then you all will burn. That is what her face is saying.
So from the webisode it's clear that the go-go boys were his idea, and in fact, the first half of the adorable webisode is Derek and other teammates running around West Hollywood, tracking down hottie after go-go boy after lithe meth addict, and asking for a few minutes of their time, and if they like taking off their clothes. Or, as I call it, "Just another Tuesday."
Shirtless hotties at a car wash! How is it that I did not anticipate this?
I would post more but I would probably end up posting almost the entire thing if I wanted to get all my favourite parts in here. Also particularly noteworthy: the description of Trump's hair and the paraphrased boardroom transcripts (especially the one with the broom proverb).
Anyway, I said I wasn't going to watch this season, partly because I'm sick of the show but mostly because Donald Trump is a yooge tool and I refuse to reinforce his tool-like behaviour by tuning in. Not that I'm going to bring about a revolution by not watching, but you know what I mean.
Maybe I'll just read the recaps.
In other news, I go to my first ASL class tonight and I am nervous as all hell. I have to go buy the book before class too and I'm all worried that I'm going to be late because I don't know my way around. *frets*