i havent been doing enough.

ive been interacting too much, on waters too shallow.
ive been manipulated, and played, and beaten.

i havent simply chosen to do whats right.

i havent learnt its really ok to get hurt.

im actually feeling defeated and tired.
im actually losing my ropes and not bothering what you and you and they think.

ive havent been ( Read more... )

(physical solitude in the house as well! wunderbar! -visa to sort out ( Read more... )

.cemented. 13thdec. roadworks. until i smell the joy i wish to create.
a familiar pitstop bloggers must experience ffrom time to time, when they sense the incongruencies between the
post-its and polaroids theyre writng, and the core longings in their mind.

(going off on tangents.)


( Read more... )

both pairs of pillars say stop. both silent reminders to stay still for a bit, take stock. took a lengthy religion survey for rp; what accounts for the dithering, why do i affiliate myself with you. i dont say you dont exist, its the man on earth i dont agree with, not laws that run parallel in every religion ( Read more... )

i think i get too dismayed by personal sabotage and tragedy; especially in movies where the rolling credits spit you back out, leaving you with the movie 'as it is'. it all makes for a very juicy chew-on-it-ness, but look -!

( closer. )

grateful. inspired. celebrate his life ( Read more... )

more and more. im drawn to this. and feel its a powerful skill to use as influence, as aid, as insight.
combined with psychology, this is what may be needed to read our selves carefully. and finally re-learn to live openly, love compassionately, and be at peace, in awareness, of the world about us.

im ..surprised.
Five relates to a lifetime of ( Read more... )

seeing him slide into one of his tantrums again, it dawned on me that my relationship with this boy in this present moment ( Read more... )