Chapter 267 Review
I’m bring you the weekly usual today, but the comments after the actual review are NSFW. You’re warned.
Gokudera: Behold my not gay big-ass weapon that no one had bothered to draw properly. Also, my shirt, that’s flowing around my skinny torso in a totally not gay way. Because I’m not gay at all.
The not gay black glamorous flames: We are twirling around the Godzilla!Zakuro in a totally not gay way.
Godzilla!Zakuro: For some reason I’m being hurt by this weapon of vague awesomeness. Ow.
Gokudera: Now I’m blasting at you my flashy red laser that has already proved it’s usefulness so many times before.
Godzilla!Zakuro: Such a nice moment to shove my ass into readers faces while making some porn noises!
Gokudera: My girly eye and that vacuum-cleaner attached to my arm are not letting you get away!
A tiny flash of pain: *suddenly appears in Gokudera’s ass back*
Me: You got to be shitting me.
Gokudera: *Porn noise* Ugh! The pain! Damn, I told the baseball bastard he overdid it yesterday!
A mass of limbs and blurs: *Is Zakuro and is doing some thinking*
Gokudera: *Is dubbing a whole porn movie with a face from a doujin R-rated scene while totally regretting not using lube yesterday.*
Gokudera: Shit, the vacuum cleaner starts being too heavy! Yamamoto, you fucker, I told I’m not a fucking housewife!
Zakuro: *Approaching stealthily from behind* Hello~, Gokudera’s little cute hole!
Gokudera: You bitch, my ass is not a public library! *Porn face*
Gokudera: Behold me flying gracefully in a helpless, womanly way.
Zakuro: Oh, I forgot for a minute you’re the ultimate uke. My bad.
Gokudera: I’m going to shoot you with some lamely drawn attack from my frilly weapon.
Amano’s assistants: * ARE PAID FOR NOTHING*
Amano’s secretary’s six-year old son: * Is picking up the slack and drawing Zakuro being pierced by some brushes or something*
Zakuro: What the fuck, you’re an uke, you can’t use penetration in offence! It’s against rules!
Zakuro: Behold me crushing your pansy arrows with the power of my manliness.
Lal Mirch: apparently, in this series every injury results in a trail of blood dripping from person’s mouth. Also, hey, look captain exposition hat is mine this chapter!
Zakuro: Yelling villain treats - check.
Gokudera: I’m making some plans while panting sexily, because making plans is something that I was always good at. They always work!
Zakuro: *Not. Impressed. At. All.*…You should just stick to sexy panting.
Gokudera: *Doggy-style default position* I’m totally shocked that someone was able to read through me, since I’m such an enigmatic, aloof kind of guy!
Zakuro: Blah blah blah you suck, and, surprise-surprise, I’m going to raep you.
Me: Whoa, who would expect.
Zakuro: *Does some crappilly drawn transforming, since all staff is busy with something else*
Fanfares: Drum-dum-dum-dum.
Amano’s staff: And now, after a loud success of fall “Moe moe!” collection, we proudly present you winter “Raep me plz!” collection of Hayato Gokudera’s facial expressions!
Gokudera: Atavistic penis of mine must be some freaky joke of nature.
Gokudera: *Insert a generic rape victim cries here*
Me: Fuck, I can’t even spork it, it’s too obvious.
Gokudera: Must…resist… the violation…
59 fandom: *collective headdesk*
Zakuro: I’m a creepy, creepy fucker with big manly thighs. No one still bothers to draw anything more than my outline.
Gokudera: Me and my suddenly fat legs won’t let you touch my totally virgin hole!
Uri: Although I’m female, I’m the one who has the balls in mine any my master duo.
Gokudera: Me and my giant, giant shojo eyes are so content I have to agree with you here.
Zakuro: Now you’ve got me burning, little boy! *Berserk mode*
Gokudera: You won’t remember, but in first fifty chapters I was actually badass. Look at my face and try to imagine that.
Gang bang big bang: *happens, looks like being drawn by an amateur*
Some space-filling panels: *fill the space, making up for one fired because of world economical crisis assistant*
Zakuro: Suddenly I don’t feel so seme anymore. Lets make some porn noises then?
Zakuro: *Out of sudden notices that something is absent.* Why you little shit, my favorite jerk-off arm!!! *RAEG*
Gokudera: I’m going to act like I’m manly here, and make this dangerous, confident expression that I have seen in old Western the other day.
Flying stuff: LOL no.
Gokudera: Oh fuck, what the fuck.
Big bang #2: *Happens, is not much better than first one*
Bluebell: Hi thar, I got high on crack, as usual, so I’m here. For the lulz. Also, I’m not into clothing.
Zakuro: My male pride is badly injured.
Bluebell: Lol wut.
The Vongola: *Are a bunch of useless potato sacks*
Bluebell: Lolololol die. Because I’m awesome like that.
Zakuro: For some reason I feel that my male pride is being kicked around.
Bluebell: Blah blah some random humiliation to nail you for good, and now - pedo striptease tiemz!! However, even if you have seen Chrome’s skinny ass like thirty chapters ago, my nonexistent boobs are too much for you, a bunch of nymphos, to handle, so lets cover them with lame old tricks.
Me: Behold, the closest you get to fanservice for boys in this shounen manga.
The Death Star Number Four: *Is hastily drawn and gotten over with*
Ariel! Bluebell: Where’s Flounder? Do you like my smoking hot shoulder appendices?
Bluebell: Blah blah ownage tiem.
Zakuro: Stop stealing my screentime and my modjo, bitch!
Bluebell: Fuck. Men. …Fine, jump in, you pathetic barrel of spermatozoons.
Zakuro: Yay. I still suck, but yay.
Bluebell: Shooting streams of goo from your shoulder it totally not creepy or disgusting at all!
Bluebell: A pile of dog crap covered in a goo is a GO!
Zakuro: An attack no one cares about is a GO!
Some unexpectedly serious, seinen Gokudera panel with proper, detailed foreshadowing: *happen.*
Me: *Fiercely loves these two panels*
Gokudera: When is the better time to angst than before inevitable death? I love you, Yamamoto.
Sudden!Hippo: *le rawr*
A pile of dog crap covered in goo: *is not a go.*
Sudden!Electric ray: *Is not so sudden*
Zakuro’s attack no one cares about: *is not a go.*
Everyone who’s not out cold yet: *reaction faces, what did you think?*
Bluebell: WTF~
Gokudera: Harde-oh, shit, wrong phrase.
Zakuro: WAT.
GQMF with silicone plump lips: Yo.
The fandom: .. NO IT CAN”T BE-
VARIA: Hey, bitches.
The fandom: *random keysmash, no, RANDOM CAPSLOCK KEYSMASH*
Bel: My hair gel is better than yours.
The mink: *Is the most adorable animal ever*
Bel59 fandom: *Is having a massive epileptic seizure*
Gokudera: *Is absolutely listless after surviving attack of Gamma59, 2759, Zakuro59 and Bel59 in spare of four chapters.*
Xanxus: My comfortable outfit and especially my wide boots clearly show how not gay I am. Also, I’m forever more awesome than you would ever dream to be.
Levi: *Is carrying an unconscious Lal Mirch clad in about 50 square centimeters of clothes in total, but somehow my crack pairing senses are not tingling.*
My BFF Lussuria <3333 : *Is gratuitously groping Gamma.*
The epic intervention: is epic.
Now.
I wanted to talk about some other things today, and you probably would bitch me out for that, since the sarcastic part of me was shamelessly amused by the thought of Dera losing yet again(ok, the fangirling part was predictably in corner of despair), but I’m too occupied by another aspect.
FUCK YOU FOR THIS, AMANO. NOT EVEN FUNNY.
Behold.
Exhibit A.
Reborn by Amano Akira, chapter 267, page 6.
Exhibit B.
(NSFW, kora!)
8059 Doujin “Nude Diamonds” by Eternal Snow, pages 4,22,24.
And now, please compare.
1.
A.
B.
2.
A.
B.
3.
A.
B.
4.
A.
B.
I’m not going to comment on this further. I refuse to dwell on it, ladies.
That’s all for today,
and, as usual, I’m waiting with hands open for your thoughts.
Lamp.