Untitled, cause I'm thoughtless right now
I always thought that the reason I wasn't an "amazing" performer was simply cause I lacked confidence. Turns out I'm missing alot more...
So yeah, Here's what happened. Last couple days I've been wondering why I'm performing for a living. I mean, On stage I feel great (minus the times I screw up and stuff, which I try to brush off quickly), but off stage I feel so out of place, like nobody really cares that I'm even there, and I don't really belong at all, and all that stupid stuff. It got me thinking if I really was that good of a performer, which continued on to make me wonder if I was really even any good of a singer. So I asked my Dad "In the thoughts of a DJ, and not my Dad; am I a decent singer? Be as harsh and honest as possible." "Yes." "Ok then, am I a Good singer?" "Yes." "Am I an Amazing singer?" "No." ... Got me on strike three. Guess I'm out.
So, after a bunch of questions with him, and stuff, he basically told me that to do anything purposeful with my life (these are my words, not his), I'm gonna have to work alot harder then I do. I mean, I always knew I was sorta lazy, but it never really clicked in until now. I've just been riding on natural talent to get me through school (Marks, plays, Choir/Band, everything), Express (Singing, Acting, and I guess I must have a bit of an ability for dancing too), and just life in General. I've never really had to work extra-hard at anything. I've tried working out but quit because it was too hard, I tried to patch relationships with other people up but in the end quit cause it was too hard, I tried getting drunk and didn't actually pull it off until a couple nights ago cause it was too hard (to get ahold of the drinks themselves, let alone be able to swallow them). Basically, I've been lazing through life. Whether it's a learnt thing, or if I was born like that, all I know is that I've been doing it, and it's got to stop.
So guys: Criticize me. Tell me every stupid little thing; Performing, Working, what I look like, personality, every single thing that might make me a better person. Some of them I'll actually take into account and remember, but other things (ex: The tie. :P all of you, it's individuality damnit!) I'll possibly ignore. Here's the plan for the next Five years (guestimate, maybe shorter, maybe longer)
Step zero (I need to have this downpacked before I can do anything): Learn some fucking work ethic, self-confidence, and guts.
Step one: Figure out what I want to do with my life.
Step two: Figure out what I need to do it.
Step three: See what I'm already good at, and find people to help teach me how to do the things I'm not. (Vocal/Dance Coaches, University, etcetera)
Step four: Work really hard, Learn learn and learn some more.
Step five: Take all I know, I've learnt, and I need, and find a way to use it all.
Step six: Bask in the glory that I've (hopefully) created for myself.
So, that's the plan. Here's where ya'll come in. I want everyone who reads this (even if you choose to remain anonymous. Whatev) to tell me, or just leave a reply telling me what you think I'm good at physically, socially, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, (yay for Christian ethics! (I stole those five things from a class I remember)) just everything, and what things I really need work on. Don't base this just on me being a performer, or a Doctor, or a McDonalds worker, or a proffessional bum, I want to know everything. I'm gonna be making a list for myself of what I think as well, but I definately need some outside opinions cause I'm not always the best judge of myself (self-confidence thing again, I think). Please? Be as honest and harsh and long and droning as you want, cause I want to know everything, not even kidding.
And with that all said, I must bid you farewell, for I iz very tired, and would like to get some sleep. First, I'm going to (honest to god) do some pushups and stuff like that (cause I need to get stronger for Winter cast, and plus it'll (hopefully) help out with my whole work-ethic thing), rest a little bit upstairs in front of the TV (cause I'm told it's bad to go straight to bed after working out), and then sleep. So, later to ya'll!
~Stargaezr
So yeah, Here's what happened. Last couple days I've been wondering why I'm performing for a living. I mean, On stage I feel great (minus the times I screw up and stuff, which I try to brush off quickly), but off stage I feel so out of place, like nobody really cares that I'm even there, and I don't really belong at all, and all that stupid stuff. It got me thinking if I really was that good of a performer, which continued on to make me wonder if I was really even any good of a singer. So I asked my Dad "In the thoughts of a DJ, and not my Dad; am I a decent singer? Be as harsh and honest as possible." "Yes." "Ok then, am I a Good singer?" "Yes." "Am I an Amazing singer?" "No." ... Got me on strike three. Guess I'm out.
So, after a bunch of questions with him, and stuff, he basically told me that to do anything purposeful with my life (these are my words, not his), I'm gonna have to work alot harder then I do. I mean, I always knew I was sorta lazy, but it never really clicked in until now. I've just been riding on natural talent to get me through school (Marks, plays, Choir/Band, everything), Express (Singing, Acting, and I guess I must have a bit of an ability for dancing too), and just life in General. I've never really had to work extra-hard at anything. I've tried working out but quit because it was too hard, I tried to patch relationships with other people up but in the end quit cause it was too hard, I tried getting drunk and didn't actually pull it off until a couple nights ago cause it was too hard (to get ahold of the drinks themselves, let alone be able to swallow them). Basically, I've been lazing through life. Whether it's a learnt thing, or if I was born like that, all I know is that I've been doing it, and it's got to stop.
So guys: Criticize me. Tell me every stupid little thing; Performing, Working, what I look like, personality, every single thing that might make me a better person. Some of them I'll actually take into account and remember, but other things (ex: The tie. :P all of you, it's individuality damnit!) I'll possibly ignore. Here's the plan for the next Five years (guestimate, maybe shorter, maybe longer)
Step zero (I need to have this downpacked before I can do anything): Learn some fucking work ethic, self-confidence, and guts.
Step one: Figure out what I want to do with my life.
Step two: Figure out what I need to do it.
Step three: See what I'm already good at, and find people to help teach me how to do the things I'm not. (Vocal/Dance Coaches, University, etcetera)
Step four: Work really hard, Learn learn and learn some more.
Step five: Take all I know, I've learnt, and I need, and find a way to use it all.
Step six: Bask in the glory that I've (hopefully) created for myself.
So, that's the plan. Here's where ya'll come in. I want everyone who reads this (even if you choose to remain anonymous. Whatev) to tell me, or just leave a reply telling me what you think I'm good at physically, socially, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, (yay for Christian ethics! (I stole those five things from a class I remember)) just everything, and what things I really need work on. Don't base this just on me being a performer, or a Doctor, or a McDonalds worker, or a proffessional bum, I want to know everything. I'm gonna be making a list for myself of what I think as well, but I definately need some outside opinions cause I'm not always the best judge of myself (self-confidence thing again, I think). Please? Be as honest and harsh and long and droning as you want, cause I want to know everything, not even kidding.
And with that all said, I must bid you farewell, for I iz very tired, and would like to get some sleep. First, I'm going to (honest to god) do some pushups and stuff like that (cause I need to get stronger for Winter cast, and plus it'll (hopefully) help out with my whole work-ethic thing), rest a little bit upstairs in front of the TV (cause I'm told it's bad to go straight to bed after working out), and then sleep. So, later to ya'll!
~Stargaezr