On God and Goats and McDonalds Ball Pits | SPN | PG-13
Title: On God and Goats and McDonald's Ball Pits
Series: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~550
Spoilers: None
Warnings: The usual blasphemy that comes with the territory. Unbeta'ed.
Summary: Castiel trolls Dean.
Disclaimer: Somewhere over the slash rainbow of my mind, it happened. But not in Kansas, unfortunately.
A/N: Written for spn_30snapshots; theme 10: a picture is worth a thousand words.
“So uh, what shoe size do you think God is?” Dean asked as he craned his head back to survey what was apparently the World’s Largest Boot. He could feel the familiar weight of Castiel’s unblinking stare pressing against his profile.
“The Pacific Ocean,” Cas said in a deadpan.
Dean pursed his lips as he walked up to the boot and reached across the flimsy metal fence to poke at the leather. “Like, both feet?”
“Just one.”
“Huh.” Dean took that in with the usual aplomb that had grown from being fuck drinking buddies with an angel. “Well, you know what they say about big feet.”
“I think I’ve heard this one before.” Cas sidled up beside Dean, apparently inspecting the shoe string as thick as his arm. “An abnormally large penis.”
“Cas.” Dean choked on air and wrote it off as a cough as he spun around to make sure there were no impressionable children in the vicinity.
Luckily, the World’s Largest Boot seemed to be a hit only with Dean, who was easily amused and antsy to run around after driving for seven hours. All the kids at the county faire were probably where Sammy was - petting goats and shit.
Dean didn’t like goats. Their eyes were on sideways, okay?
“You can’t just say ‘penis’ in front of the general public,” Dean said as he grabbed Castiel’s elbow and began to lead them away.
“Why? I recall the time we were in a public restroom stall and you said you wanted to suck my -”
“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Dean stormed towards the petting zoo, more than fucking ready to get Sam and blow this joint.
“And that time in the McDonald's when you attempted to pull me into the children’s ball pit because you wanted to play with my b-”
“Just please smite me the fuck now,” Dean said under his breath as he trudged through the crowd without a thought for his swearing propriety. Fuck it.
“Did you just ask to be sucked the fuck now?”
Dean was actually going to cry and punch Cas in the face and then rub the afore-mentioned tears into Castiel’s wounds.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said as he walked right up to them with his eyebrows high. “But did Cas just say...”
Cas cocked his head and stared up at Sam. “I was merely repeating what Dean said. I have no idea what it means, of course.”
Sam scowled at Dean and knocked him upside the head. “Jeez, Dean. We’re in front of kids here. Get a grip.”
Dean spluttered, turned on his heel, and swept past Cas with a glare.
“Oh, you are so not gettin’ any tonight, buddy.”
Cas was at his side immediately, his eyes doing that stupid wide, innocent virginal thing that should never be sexy on him, but always was. “Wait - Dean -“
“Oh hell no!”
Sam heaved a sigh behind them both. “And this is why we can’t do normal things.”
Series: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~550
Spoilers: None
Warnings: The usual blasphemy that comes with the territory. Unbeta'ed.
Summary: Castiel trolls Dean.
Disclaimer: Somewhere over the slash rainbow of my mind, it happened. But not in Kansas, unfortunately.
A/N: Written for spn_30snapshots; theme 10: a picture is worth a thousand words.
“So uh, what shoe size do you think God is?” Dean asked as he craned his head back to survey what was apparently the World’s Largest Boot. He could feel the familiar weight of Castiel’s unblinking stare pressing against his profile.
“The Pacific Ocean,” Cas said in a deadpan.
Dean pursed his lips as he walked up to the boot and reached across the flimsy metal fence to poke at the leather. “Like, both feet?”
“Just one.”
“Huh.” Dean took that in with the usual aplomb that had grown from being fuck drinking buddies with an angel. “Well, you know what they say about big feet.”
“I think I’ve heard this one before.” Cas sidled up beside Dean, apparently inspecting the shoe string as thick as his arm. “An abnormally large penis.”
“Cas.” Dean choked on air and wrote it off as a cough as he spun around to make sure there were no impressionable children in the vicinity.
Luckily, the World’s Largest Boot seemed to be a hit only with Dean, who was easily amused and antsy to run around after driving for seven hours. All the kids at the county faire were probably where Sammy was - petting goats and shit.
Dean didn’t like goats. Their eyes were on sideways, okay?
“You can’t just say ‘penis’ in front of the general public,” Dean said as he grabbed Castiel’s elbow and began to lead them away.
“Why? I recall the time we were in a public restroom stall and you said you wanted to suck my -”
“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Dean stormed towards the petting zoo, more than fucking ready to get Sam and blow this joint.
“And that time in the McDonald's when you attempted to pull me into the children’s ball pit because you wanted to play with my b-”
“Just please smite me the fuck now,” Dean said under his breath as he trudged through the crowd without a thought for his swearing propriety. Fuck it.
“Did you just ask to be sucked the fuck now?”
Dean was actually going to cry and punch Cas in the face and then rub the afore-mentioned tears into Castiel’s wounds.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said as he walked right up to them with his eyebrows high. “But did Cas just say...”
Cas cocked his head and stared up at Sam. “I was merely repeating what Dean said. I have no idea what it means, of course.”
Sam scowled at Dean and knocked him upside the head. “Jeez, Dean. We’re in front of kids here. Get a grip.”
Dean spluttered, turned on his heel, and swept past Cas with a glare.
“Oh, you are so not gettin’ any tonight, buddy.”
Cas was at his side immediately, his eyes doing that stupid wide, innocent virginal thing that should never be sexy on him, but always was. “Wait - Dean -“
“Oh hell no!”
Sam heaved a sigh behind them both. “And this is why we can’t do normal things.”