`reality gave me a slap in the face

[lalalaitsmylife]

so last night.. gosh it was terrible. sean and i got into it again pretty bad. i told him that i needed time for myself. i needed to gather my feelings, get to the doctor and get back on my medicine (sp?), start being around my friends more, and get ready for the pressure of school. and he took it totally wrong and asked "so which of your guy friends approved that?" and gosh, that hit me like an arrow to the heart. it hurt so bad. he started getting really mad and i was really scared. okay to clear this up - i was not scared of sean, i was scared that he might come over and want to argue with me but i was home alone with emily. i didnt want emily to see that. so i called gregory (my brother) and he thought it was much more serious because by this time i was extremely broken down crying my eyes out. so he called sean and blah blah blah big mess. i wanted to leave my house and get over to kandices because i knew she was the only friend i could turn to now. so her sister came and got me and emily (this is around 1 in the morning now) and we spent the night at kandices. but by the time we got there... sean was completely fine. he was asking if he could come see me because he didnt want to go to bed without seeing my face- completely being himself and it was the weirdest thing. gosh, i love him more than anything in this world but i dont know how much my body and heart can take now. i pray things will be okay.

gosh i just want this all to blow over and be happy! happy .. all i can do is pray.