The Equal Fairy
I've come to the conclusion that there's an assumption by most people in the office that the coffee and add-ins just "appear" overnight as if by magic. Nobody else other than myself is physically capable of opening the cabinet, taking down the box, and replacing whatever needs replacing--such as Equal packets, creamers, etc. Thank goodness some other crazy fool gets here earlier than I do (7:10!) and makes the coffee before I arrive. But I have dubbed myself the Equal Fairy who comes very early in the morning and replenishes everyone's sweetener.
Case in point: someone saw me walking by the kitchen the other day and asked me how to get in contact with the person who delivers coffee because we were all out. Being the union secretary, I of course am concerned with such employee rights as free coffee. But anyway, I asked him if he'd looked in the cabinets, and of course he had not. Low and behold, there were two huge boxes of coffee in one of the cabinets. I guess I'm just slipping on my fairy duties.