DEEP TALKS AND SMOKES
These talks are always one-offs. And I am so afraid that they think this is all I have to give, and all I'll ever have to offer
I fear this so much
but cannot overcome it. I feel like I need to prove my worth, but what room is there for charisma when you are in deep, intense conversation
I pretty much just got back from Arab Street
Today, Rei came over and we fought about the musical toy he had brought for me
and then made pancakes afterwards because it was about 4 and I hadn't eaten anything
I love the smell of pancake batter alot alot
We napped, then headed to Orchard.
Sara and I first met at Ion, and had a very difficult time getting to Bugis station
missing trains, getting off at wrong stops, confusing interchanges. For some reason, everyone had something to do this particular Friday night. Except Justin, that is
And Wallace was being a douche and cancelled in a bad-friend way
but whatever, the night turned out fine. Finally warning Justin that it was only going to be Sara and I, we were surprised that he still would "pop by"
He even got there before us, so he had to walk back to Bugis where we met him @Cold Storage. We bought Yuzu Liquor to drink @Arab
It was fine, less awkward than was expected. Although I didn't really know why I thought it'd be
because Justin isn't really an awkward person
We joked, drank, had fruit-punch shisha with milk. Then Sara left, but Justin and I stayed, and we talked talked talked about relatively intimate things. Sex and religion, in depth
Despite that, there was nothing. I don't know, just... phut if I were to turn it into onomatopaeia. He's a great person, no doubt
but for all that talking, I expected to be a little more attached to him. More enamoured, more interested, more keen, more excited? I'm not sure, just more... something
I think its the reacting part - that I don't flirt at all and we just don't interact on that level; it'd be something else if we did, maybe.
