these drugs are nice
I've spent the last few months in a dreamy kind of state. I know I write sloppy crap every time I meet a guy that I think is the most amazing guy I've ever known, and write how 'but this time its different' when no it really wasnt (it makes me chuckle I must admit). The whole Stuart thing was hard,I got called some names for that, I loved him but I wasnt in love with him and it was on the rocks and the time we were together was great but I was growing up and so was he and we went in different directions.Its a shame we cant be friends, but how can you be mates after that? It would be crazy. So we've moved on amazingly well, time doesnt heal,you dont forget and it always hurts. But you pick yourself up and you accept the fact that these things come and go and your young,healthy, happy (most of the time) and alive!You've got all your limbs,fingers and toes lol. As you can tell I'm pretty much at ease at the moment.
Lizzie and Emma leave for Australia on Friday morning, they keep asking me if I'll miss them.I don't know what they expect me to say,they should know I will,they want comformation.they can have it in a letter to read on the plane, I tell them they are a pain in the arse and can't wait until they're as far away from me as possible but that I will try to save up for a plane ticket in May.They say I'm hard hearted but really I loves them more than they know and don't know who I will get drunk with and bitch to when they are gone. Id cry if I werent so rational. I bought emma a little hangover survival kit and Lizzie a dirty stop out one.should be funny at lunch tomorrow, hopefully they will be offended, I like offending them.
I went to Canterbury to see Philip this weekend seen as he left me and Alex to go to bum it at university.His room smelt vile.We left after 5 mins and went to a cafe.We arrived on Saturday morning and I hadnt eaten so we went to burger king and walked around a bit,checked in to the hotel and I had a little nap whilst Alex saw Philip.I got bored of napping and went out,met phil and Alex in whetherspoons(surprise,surprise) had a glass of Rose and went to buy a dress and tights.Went back to my room and they were drinking cans of beer.I made phil leave so I could shower and change for dinner, he was upset he could not watch.We went nandos and drunk a bottle of corked wine, the boys bet over £2.50 who could down a glass and we ordered phil the 'HOT' chicken which he claimed hurt his mouth,Alex has plain. We go pubs and drink.We go back to the hotel early as we are tired and Alex has to drive home the next day.The next day we go see phil and go cafe,it is good and but the tea isnt hot its warm. Theres lots of homeless people in Canterbury and one asks phil for a million pounds,phil says he doesnt have enough money to get drunk with,the homeless guy replies "O! Theres always enough money to get drunk". We drive home and I'm happy but tired,I wake up to the car going 100mph but he slows down for me.
Philips room mate Dan loves bat man and says things like 'what would batman do?'..'Batman would sleep in/wear/shag/do that..'
We drink tea alot and hug alot.I didnt expect it to be like this,but i like it anyway.I miss him as he works 9-5 but he emails and texts me everyday and calls me sexy and apologises for not calling or texting back when he falls asleep the night before. I lay awake some nights and remember when I was 14 and he walked me home.When he told me my lip piercing stabbed his lips,I told him to deal with it.When I cried because he wounldnt be mine and when I took pleasure in saying no. When i said he couldnt have brownies and was childish and said he wasnt invited to my birthday but cassie and philip were. He keeps a photo of me and him on his wall from 4 years ago at burger king, he wears a scream mask. I tell him i was upset at 15 when phil told me he had already slept with a girl.And he tells me he was going to stop talking to me because it hurt so much. I feel wanted constantly and jealous of who ever gets his time,even if I get it the most.He offers to buy me things, i always decline politely.I bring him cookies to have with tea.We share memories from 11 years ago.He knows me inside out and we say things at the same time constantly.He is ticklish.He rubs my back for me.He plays guiter when I'm round and I fall asleep.He only says he loves me accidentally.He thinks im funny when i dont tell a joke and i think he has terrible morals.
I have compared him to every guy I've ever dated,fancied or been friends with.But we're just cool, chillaxin' lol.drinking tea...
Lizzie and Emma leave for Australia on Friday morning, they keep asking me if I'll miss them.I don't know what they expect me to say,they should know I will,they want comformation.they can have it in a letter to read on the plane, I tell them they are a pain in the arse and can't wait until they're as far away from me as possible but that I will try to save up for a plane ticket in May.They say I'm hard hearted but really I loves them more than they know and don't know who I will get drunk with and bitch to when they are gone. Id cry if I werent so rational. I bought emma a little hangover survival kit and Lizzie a dirty stop out one.should be funny at lunch tomorrow, hopefully they will be offended, I like offending them.
I went to Canterbury to see Philip this weekend seen as he left me and Alex to go to bum it at university.His room smelt vile.We left after 5 mins and went to a cafe.We arrived on Saturday morning and I hadnt eaten so we went to burger king and walked around a bit,checked in to the hotel and I had a little nap whilst Alex saw Philip.I got bored of napping and went out,met phil and Alex in whetherspoons(surprise,surprise) had a glass of Rose and went to buy a dress and tights.Went back to my room and they were drinking cans of beer.I made phil leave so I could shower and change for dinner, he was upset he could not watch.We went nandos and drunk a bottle of corked wine, the boys bet over £2.50 who could down a glass and we ordered phil the 'HOT' chicken which he claimed hurt his mouth,Alex has plain. We go pubs and drink.We go back to the hotel early as we are tired and Alex has to drive home the next day.The next day we go see phil and go cafe,it is good and but the tea isnt hot its warm. Theres lots of homeless people in Canterbury and one asks phil for a million pounds,phil says he doesnt have enough money to get drunk with,the homeless guy replies "O! Theres always enough money to get drunk". We drive home and I'm happy but tired,I wake up to the car going 100mph but he slows down for me.
Philips room mate Dan loves bat man and says things like 'what would batman do?'..'Batman would sleep in/wear/shag/do that..'
We drink tea alot and hug alot.I didnt expect it to be like this,but i like it anyway.I miss him as he works 9-5 but he emails and texts me everyday and calls me sexy and apologises for not calling or texting back when he falls asleep the night before. I lay awake some nights and remember when I was 14 and he walked me home.When he told me my lip piercing stabbed his lips,I told him to deal with it.When I cried because he wounldnt be mine and when I took pleasure in saying no. When i said he couldnt have brownies and was childish and said he wasnt invited to my birthday but cassie and philip were. He keeps a photo of me and him on his wall from 4 years ago at burger king, he wears a scream mask. I tell him i was upset at 15 when phil told me he had already slept with a girl.And he tells me he was going to stop talking to me because it hurt so much. I feel wanted constantly and jealous of who ever gets his time,even if I get it the most.He offers to buy me things, i always decline politely.I bring him cookies to have with tea.We share memories from 11 years ago.He knows me inside out and we say things at the same time constantly.He is ticklish.He rubs my back for me.He plays guiter when I'm round and I fall asleep.He only says he loves me accidentally.He thinks im funny when i dont tell a joke and i think he has terrible morals.
I have compared him to every guy I've ever dated,fancied or been friends with.But we're just cool, chillaxin' lol.drinking tea...