Let Me - [Jingyeom Oneshot]
Incredibly belated birthday gift for 我亲爱的 symmetrophobic, I hope you can still enjoy this alskdfjasdf I love you so much and you deserve all the best most beautiful things but alas this is all I've got xD Forgive me ;A;
~~
Jinyoung was sitting at the edge of the stage, legs dangling over the side as he stared out at the sea of clicking cameras contemplatively.
“Yugyeom’s been getting more and more cocky lately with the hyungs, you’ve all seen, right?”
The fans at the fansign responded with a mix of laughter and yells of approval, Jinyoung himself staying perfectly straight-faced as he talked into the mic. Yugyeom was still sitting at the signing table, pen in hand, but he rolled his eyes perfectly for the cameras to capture.
“Just the other day he was telling me, hyung, you know, your fashion really looks like an ahjussi’s, right?”
The fans immediately exploded into laughter and even Jackson joined in from behind, while Yugyeom tried to protest the words with an exasperated “ayyyyyyy.” He didn’t have a mic, though, so the only ones to hear were his fellow members on stage.
Jinyoung pouted slightly, as if he’d been genuinely hurt by those words.
“Do you guys think I have an ahjussi’s fashion sense?”
A resounding nooooo was chanted back at him, but the few errant yes’s didn’t escape his notice.
“Yes? Who said yes?!”
“The ones who weren’t afraid to tell the truth, hyung,” Yugyeom’s voice suddenly boomed out from the speakers. Jinyoung made an indescribable face, turning around to see that Yugyeom had had enough of his hyung speaking to the fans one-sidedly, taking a mic from Mark.
“And yah, hyung, why don’t you tell them about the time you told me that I couldn’t dye my hair red or else I’d look like a real--”
Yugyeom broke off abruptly when Jinyoung all but tackled him for the mic, snatching at it only for his hand to close around air. Yugyeom grinned triumphantly, but his victory was short lived as Jinyoung then moved to shoulder him in the chest.
It didn’t hurt much at all, but it still got Yugyeom’s competitive side fired up enough that teasing words became quickly forgotten in exchange for a more physical battle.
The fans were nearly hysterical as they watched the two “fight,” furiously clicking away on their cameras as to not miss a single moment. The other members were sure to give them a wide berth as to not get caught in the crossfire, with only Jaebum being brave enough to walk directly past them, tutting.
But Yugyeom didn’t care, all too focused on checking Jinyoung’s chest with his much broader one.
Physical battles, well, Yugyeom always won those.
~~
Jinyoung always won with words, though.
Yugyeom had always been told he was pretty eloquent for his age, and the hyungs never seemed to worry when they gave him information to recite, or when he was suddenly asked to introduce their album. They tended to focus their worry on Mark instead, or even Jackson and Bambam more so than Yugyeom, not only because of their language barrier but because of their more, well, unpredictable natures.
Right after debut, everyone was so focused on trying to get Mark to talk more, to make sure he got at least one line in at every interview. Even Yugyeom himself was of this mindset, because who could ever be quieter than Mark-hyung?
So it had stunned him slightly the first time Jinyoung had turned the conversation towards him in an interview, unscripted, and Yugyeom had to swallow in order to moisten his throat that had gone dry from disuse the past two hours. Jinyoung had nudged him, gaze encouraging, and that was all it’d taken for him to snap out of it, responding to the question fluidly, if a bit shyly.
It was from that point on that Yugyeom had started to notice just how incredibly perceptive Jinyoung was. Yugyeom wasn’t like Jackson, or even Bambam, both who just naturally took their place under the spotlight, like they knew they belonged there. Yugyeom wasn’t shy, he wasn’t unconfident. But he wasn’t one to fight for attention, either, so to speak.
There was a time when he really resented that fact. Trainee days were especially difficult, being the same age as the Thai prodige that was nearly too cute to be real. They could complete the same task, perform the same dance equally well, and yet it seemed Bambam just naturally deserved all the praise and coos and ooh and aahs since he was simply so adorable. Yugyeom’s accomplishments were to be expected in comparison, if not still lacking.
Yugyeom had struggled with that for the longest time, mind and heart unbalanced by the constant non-comparisons. He resented the Thai boy and the reality that he didn’t have to do anything to have praise heaped upon him, except to perhaps pull out some aegyo. As for Yugyeom, he simply lacked the hardened resolve to go fight for his own.
And yet, look where the two of them were now. The best of friends.
Yugyeom had thought he’d found peace, having simply grown accustomed to the hierarchies of the system and accepted his position as somewhat lesser. But it was okay, because he still had his place and belonged. As long as he was accepted, he would be okay.
And there they were, after debut. Mark was a quiet, mysterious foreigner, not to mention incredibly handsome. Of course he deserved all the attention, the extra care in ensuring he felt comfortable and received enough screen time. Yugyeom was a native speaker, already comfortable with the language. Opportunities didn’t fall from the sky in the entertainment industry, he needed to reach for them on his own to deserve them. It seemed obvious he couldn’t expect the same popularity as the others- it wasn’t his place.
And then Jinyoung had to come along, shattering his notion of the hierarchy.
Before, Yugyeom hadn’t even noticed when he hadn’t been talking much, content to listen to the hyungs do the talking because that was what it was supposed to be like, right? But now with Jinyoung forcibly turning all attention towards him whenever this had gone on for too long, Yugyeom couldn’t be unaware any longer.
Jinyoung, pulling him out to show their dance, teasing him about being more confident than the hyungs. Jinyoung, asking him to give his opinion on an interview question that another member had already answered. Jinyoung didn’t do this only for Yugyeom of course, Mark was still a worrying case for all of them when it came to talking enough, but Jinyoung always included Yugyeom in his care, without fail. He did so in an unburdensome way, often adding teasing jabs to the mix that easily elicited a reaction.
And slowly, but surely, Yugyeom began to accept a new fact.
Perhaps, things were supposed to be this way.
~~
“Hyung, you’re so childish.”
The words slipped from Yugyeom’s mouth before it even fully formed as a conscious thought, this system of give and take having already become second nature. Jinyoung simply shot him a glare, adjusting his seat belt slightly before turning his attention back to his phone.
A few minutes passed, Jackson’s and Bambam’s voices surprisingly quiet for once in the back of the van, most likely out of consideration for Youngjae who was sleeping.
“Hyung, you always say we shouldn’t use our phones right before bed and that’s why we can’t fall asleep, so why are you doing the same thing?” Yugyeom spoke up again.
At this, Jinyoung rolled his eyes, looking ready to fire back a snarky retort, but Yugyeom managed to cut in before he could.
“Hyung, you’ve been looking at scripts to audition for, right? Have there been any good ones?”
The change in topic was incredibly abrupt and much too obvious for someone as sharp as Jinyoung, whose eyes narrowed slightly in response. But with Yugyeom looking at him so earnestly, all traces of smugness carefully hidden away, he didn’t quite find it in himself to shut him down.
“There are some good ones, some really good ones, actually.”
Yugyeom carefully hid a triumphant smile as Jinyoung started to really get going, becoming more and more animated as he explained the different roles he’d been considering to audition for. This was exactly what Yugyeom had wanted, after all, and being able to succeed at something usually only Jinyoung was deft enough to manipulate brought a sense of satisfaction so deep it was indescribable.
The past few years had definitely changed how Yugyeom viewed Jinyoung. Well, perhaps changed wouldn’t be the correct word. Rather, he’d gained a much deeper understanding of this sometimes very prickly hyung, a comprehension that might even rival Jaebum’s soon.
After he’d gotten over his initial awe, gratefulness, and even slight intimidation of Jinyoung, Yugyeom had quickly realized his perceptiveness and ability at manipulation was very much a double-edged sword. He was incredibly sensitive, which allowed him to pick up on things much faster than anyone else, but he also took much longer to get over it all if it was related to him personally. He’d get stuck on trivial things, unable to move past it while his mind would continuously turn the matter over and over. Whatever that thing was would eventually be exhausted and tossed aside, but not before he exhausted himself as well in the process.
Yugyeom also discovered that while Jinyoung found it incredibly easy to tease reactions out of others, he didn’t take to it very well himself. There were times when he took jokes to heart even while knowing too well they weren’t meant to be so examined in the first place. In that sense, childish was the perfect word to describe this stubborn hyung, always trying to overthink things, doling out teasing insults and jabs but immediately growing sulky and petulant when others turned around and did the same to him.
Jinyoung had been especially moody recently, retreating into his room to be alone more frequently than in the past. Jaebum had instructed them all to give him space, and that he’d work himself out of the funk soon enough, but Yugyeom didn’t find himself wholly convinced.
He wouldn’t intrude into Jinyoung’s personal space in the dorm, and therefore pulled out all the stops when they were out and about instead. While the teasing and play fights used to be mainly initiated by Jinyoung, Yugyeom now proudly claimed just as many, if not more. And while it was true that annoyance and exasperation would quickly follow, the increase in energy and even wry smiles Jinyoung displayed more than convinced Yugyeom of a newfound fact.
Jinyoung wasn’t someone that should be left alone to brood, as much as he may enjoy his solitude. He was strong, incredibly so, but his perceptiveness also came with the price of sensitivity and fragility.
And Yugyeom, having been protected for so long by this strange combination, was determined to return the favor.
~~
It’d been a busy but all-around successful day, everyone managing to continue running off of a high fueled by the cheers of their fans. Their last schedule had been a bit more difficult to get through, though, being a closed interview where they were required to sit still for the cameras, slowly answering each question. Eyelids had started to droop but they pushed through it professionally, even managing to ratchet up the energy enough to have a few boisterous moments, Jackson in the lead. However, they still heaved a collective sigh of relief when it all ended.
Just as they were about to board the van, their manager had tugged Jaebum aside, whispering something in his ear as the members shuffled into the vehicle, dazed and yawning. Jinyoung noticed, however, since his usual competitor for the shotgun seat hadn’t joined him in their usual mad dash to call dibs.
Jinyoung hung back slightly, brow furrowing when he saw Jaebum nod, running one hand over his face tiredly before squaring himself. Their manager gave him a clap on the back before turning back to their van, Jaebum shuffling off to the car of a different coordinator.
Jinyoung slipped into his uncontested seat, absently buckling his seatbelt as he leaned over the center console to whisper to their manager.
“Where’s Jaebum-hyung going?”
“Back to the company, just a few things he needs to be briefed on I think.”
“You think?”
The manager shrugged, throwing a haphazard look over his shoulder to make sure everyone was buckled in before turning the key in the ignition.
“Don’t know the details, just got a call earlier saying they needed Jaebum.”
Jinyoung nodded, settling back in his seat but still looking dissatisfied by the information. He gnawed on his bottom lip, deep in thought.
Behind him, all the members had already started to drift off. Mark had been the first one out, followed by Jackson, and soon enough the maknaes also followed suit.
After sitting in silence for a good couple of minutes, Jinyoung leaned over the center console again, voice kept low as to not disturb his sleeping members.
“Hyung, what’s our schedule for tomorrow?”
~~
Yugyeom wasn’t exactly a light sleeper, per say, but when woken he would always rise quite easily. So when he was shaken gently by the shoulder, his eyes fluttered open immediately. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he turned to see all the other members similarly attempting to wake themselves when Jinyoung tapped them or softly called their names.
When Yugyeom managed to make brief eye contact with Jinyoung, he was startled by the alertness in gaze. His eyes then travelled to the tense coil of his hyung’s shoulders, and knew instinctively he hadn’t slept a wink during the ride.
It took them a few minutes to fully unload from the van, most of them shuffling sleepily, rubbing their eyes.
“Dibs on the shower,” Bambam had enough sense to call out, causing Youngjae to groan at the missed opportunity. In the subsequent scramble to yell out dibs, Yugyeom managed to squeeze in third, but couldn’t help notice that Jinyoung hadn’t even tried. Usually, he’d be near throwing a fit if he’d somehow come in last, complaining about disrespectful maknaes and shooting his glare at all of them, but now he was simply too preoccupied with his phone, staring at it intently as they walked inside.
Yugyeom shoulder checked him gently to get his attention, but Jinyoung barely even looked up.
“Hyung, are you gonna shower tonight?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Jinyoung finally answered absently, letting the screen of his phone fade to black before stuffing it into his back pocket. “I’ll be up for a bit though, it’s fine if I go last.”
Youngjae, who’d been walking just a few steps behind them, found this time to chime in.
“Are you going to be up waiting for Jaebum-hyung?”
Jinyoung shrugged in response, and now they’d gotten Mark’s attention as well.
“You should sleep, Jinyoungie, we don’t know what time he’ll be back and we have an early schedule tomorrow,” Mark attempted to be persuasive and Youngjae nodded along earnestly. Yugyeom had been about add in his voice as well, but Jinyoung didn’t give him a chance to.
“It’s fine, there’s a book I wanted to read anyways. Manager-hyung hadn’t been able to give Jaebum-hyung a rundown of our schedule yet for tomorrow, and there are a few other things that he needs to be caught up on. Worst comes to worst, I’ll just nap on the couch until he gets back, it shouldn’t be that long anyways.”
Jinyoung’s tone left no room for debate, but Youngjae seemed unwilling to give it up just yet, a worried frown creasing his brow as he made to speak again. Yugyeom stopped him, though, with a firm hand on the shoulder, shaking his head slightly when Youngjae turned to look at him.
It would be futile to attempt to convince Jinyoung otherwise at this point, not when his mind was already so set. Yugyeom knew this all too well.
When they finally reached their dorm, the door had been left slightly ajar from when Jackson and Bambam had dashed in just moments before. The rest of them filed in quietly, Jinyoung bringing up the rear to make sure the door was securely shut and locked.
And thus they all settled into their pre-bedtime routine, whatever it happened to be. Jinyoung’s only differed slightly from usual in that he brought his book out to read in the living room, rather than tucked away in his bedroom.
After finishing his shower, Yugyeom contemplated persuading Jinyoung again, now that the fatigue had probably set in more firmly. But one look at his furrowed brow and tense posture was enough to convince him otherwise, and Yugyeom padded off to bed, sighing softly.
~~
Yugyeom was completely disoriented when he woke in the middle of the night, confused as to why it was so dark when his eyes fluttered open. He reached for his phone to check the time clumsily, nearly knocking over everything on the bedside table in the process. The light from his phone was blinding to his unadjusted eyes, and he had to look away for a few seconds first before he was able to make out the time on the screen.
2:43AM
Yugyeom groaned, tossing his phone back down to flop back onto his bed. He was usually a very stable sleeper, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up in the middle of the night for no reason at all.
Wait. No reason?
A suspicion began to form and Yugyeom sighed, resigned to the fact that he most likely wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t get up to confirm said suspicion.
Bracing himself, he swung himself back upright, grunting as he stood to walk blearily out of his shared bedroom. Yawning, he shook his head in an attempt to wake himself more.
When he reached the living room, lo and behold, suspicion confirmed; Jinyoung was there still, curled up on the couch, fast asleep. His book had fallen to the floor, a few of the middle pages bent out of shape.
“Hyung’s going to throw a fit tomorrow…” Yugyeom found himself mumbling out loud as he picked up the book gingerly, trying to smooth down the pages as best as he could before setting it down carefully on the table. He now turned to the sleeping figure, a slightly disbelieving smile forming.
“Hyung, you’re so silly, you know?”
Yugyeom crouched down so he was eye-level with Jinyoung’s face, watching how his lips parted slightly with each exhale. It might’ve been just an effect of the dark shadows being cast in the room, but Jinyoung looked more tired than usual, even in sleep.
“Stubborn hyung,” Yugyeom murmured.
Moments later, Yugyeom stood with Jinyoung carefully lifted in his arms, muscles straining slightly. Jinyoung wasn’t light, after all, but for Yugyeom it wasn’t his weight that made it difficult. Trying to keep his body steady, as to not wake him, required a bit more control than his half-asleep body really wanted right now.
Still, carrying Jinyoung back to his room proved to be rather simple, especially since he’d left the door to his and Bambam’s room open in his half-awake state when he exited initially. Opening Jinyoung’s door was slightly more challenging, however, but he managed it, exhaling sharply in relief when he made it inside.
After setting Jinyoung down on his bed, it’d taken a bit more maneuvering to get him tucked under the covers, but Yugyeom was ultimately triumphant in the end.
Yugyeom felt a surge of pride at his accomplishment, but staring down at his hyung, fast asleep and in a way so vulnerable in his unconsciousness, Yugyeom felt an even stronger surge of protectiveness.
Bending down, he planted the lightest of kisses on the crown of Jinyoung’s head, as if he was made of glass and would shatter if he were to touch him too carelessly. Or, more realistically, wake up from a touch that was too heavy.
Yugyeom didn’t know why Jaebum-hyung hadn’t returned yet, but most likely he’d just crashed at a manager’s place after it’d gotten too late. Whatever the reason, he knew Jinyoung would be throwing a worried fit tomorrow, paying extra attention to Jaebum, wondering if he’d gotten enough sleep, asking what was it that management had wanted so late, briefing him on their upcoming schedules, etc. and etc. He wouldn’t take a minute to think about his own fatigue, or the crick in his neck that’d probably already formed from sleeping out on the couch for hours.
Yugyeom straightened, tucking the blankets more securely around Jinyoung’s frame.
Hyung, you need someone to take care of you too, you know.
Let me.