(no subject)
its at the request of my boyfriend, that i write this.
i don't write here anymore, because for the most part i feel like i have an outlet, i have someone who cares and wants to hear what i have to say.
yesterday i see this just isn't the case. i really feel like i'm only allowed to say one thing, and then shut up, because he just wants nothing to do with me :(
"tell someone else - write in a journal" that's what i get when i feel there are unresolved issues in my mind.
so, here i am. more alone than ever.
i go through these phases where i get really down on myself, like i'm worthless, and what am i doing here.
i feel so awful about myself i've just spent my days in bed, trying to hide, trying to sleep so i don't think anymore.
it's an awful way to live. and try being with someone who half the time doesn't want to hear about your problems, and is never available. it just makes things worse.
i feel pretty empty these days, i feel exhausted, like i've done what i can, and i'm just not happy with anything. i don't know why i go through these phases, i just wish they'd stop :(
i'd rather feel nothing than this.
i don't write here anymore, because for the most part i feel like i have an outlet, i have someone who cares and wants to hear what i have to say.
yesterday i see this just isn't the case. i really feel like i'm only allowed to say one thing, and then shut up, because he just wants nothing to do with me :(
"tell someone else - write in a journal" that's what i get when i feel there are unresolved issues in my mind.
so, here i am. more alone than ever.
i go through these phases where i get really down on myself, like i'm worthless, and what am i doing here.
i feel so awful about myself i've just spent my days in bed, trying to hide, trying to sleep so i don't think anymore.
it's an awful way to live. and try being with someone who half the time doesn't want to hear about your problems, and is never available. it just makes things worse.
i feel pretty empty these days, i feel exhausted, like i've done what i can, and i'm just not happy with anything. i don't know why i go through these phases, i just wish they'd stop :(
i'd rather feel nothing than this.