Jump the Track: Chapter 12 (part 1)
Title - Jump the Track
Chapter - 12 (part 1)
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - Mild angst, fluff, sexual references.
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
Waking up next to Castiel was different the second time. There was the benefit of being in his own bed and of knowing they were both safe, and that this could be the first of many such mornings. They might be able to actually make this work now.
Castiel’s head was under Dean’s chin, and they were so tightly wrapped around each other Dean wondered how the hell they’d managed to get like that. He wondered why he didn’t feel more uncomfortable. He tried, somewhat half-heartedly, to convince himself that it was all for Castiel. Cas had been denied affection pretty much his whole life, so it wasn’t surprising that he’d feel the need for physical comfort. But then Dean wasn’t exactly being self-sacrificing about it. God, he was snuggling, and he liked it. Dean was a snuggler. He was too happy to be embarrassed.
Dean still couldn’t get his head around the huge clusterfuck that had been the past week. He began to feel guilt stirring in his gut, which was kind of ridiculous all things considered, because Cas himself had admitted that he’d been partly to blame for their falling out, but... Dean felt like he should have known. He felt like he should have had some kind of psychic connection with Cas to let him know the guy was in trouble. All that time, Dean had thought Castiel hated him and was ignoring his calls and not coming to school because he didn’t want to see him. If he’d been thinking clearly he would have figured out that Cas would never sacrifice his perfect attendance record like that. And all those missed calls... Zachariah had probably been looking through them. Zachariah had probably figured the whole thing out by now. The thought gave Dean the creeps. He knew he was being stupid about it, but he should have known. It went back to what Cas had said about that night he’d saved Dean’s life, that he’d been drawn to the lake, that it was fate, he was meant to be in Dean’s life. Why hadn’t Dean felt that? Why hadn’t he known? He almost felt jealous of Castiel for being so much better at this than he was, especially when Cas was so much more deserving. Dean shifted uneasily and Castiel sighed, his arms tightening a little. Dean pulled him close, feeling a surge of love that was almost painful in its intensity. That was something those stupid romance movies never told you - how love hurt, how it felt like it was trying to tear its way out of your chest, how sometimes it had to be endured.
He needed to compensate. It was Castiel’s turn to be the one who got taken care of now, his turn to have a hero. Dean felt like he could be heroic for him. He extracted himself, very carefully, thankful that Cas was too exhausted to wake up easily.
Dean pulled on the jeans that were slung over the back of his desk chair, and found a t-shirt on the floor that wasn’t too dirty. He didn’t need to make an effort for what he had to do this morning. The house was quiet as he padded down the stairs - the Winchesters liked to have a lie-in on Sundays - and so Dean would probably be able to get away without meeting anyone, which was just about perfect as far as he was concerned because he really didn’t need-
“Dean.”
Fuck. Dean really should learn that lesson about not counting his eggs already. He turned round slowly at the front door.
“Hey, Dad.”
John was sitting on the living room couch, and he looked weird. “Come in here for a minute, Dean. I want to talk to you.”
Dean’s stomach twisted with sudden nerves. “What’s up?” He wandered into the room, affecting casualness he didn’t feel, and stood in front of his father. He didn’t sit down.
John looked up at him, the look in his eyes unreadable. “When were you going to tell me? About you and Castiel?”
Dean’s breath stuttered, and he felt for a moment like he was going to pass out. He wanted to say something, but everything in his brain felt like it was screaming. “Mom told you?” he choked.
John shook his head. “Believe it or not, I figured it out for myself. Mary said what had happened with Castiel’s family when I got in last night. I managed to string the rest of it together.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad.” The words escaped Dean in a rush, and in a strange, detached way, he thought how much like a kid he sounded. Like a little boy. “I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to-It wasn’t-I didn’t do it on purpose, it just happened, and I am so sorry. I know you didn’t want-”
Dean became foggily aware that strong hands were gripping his shoulders, holding him steady.
“Dean, breathe,” his father said. “Just breathe, okay? Come sit down.”
Dean let himself be guided onto the couch. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“Dean, look at me.”
John was kneeling in front in him, but Dean was too afraid to look up. He didn’t want to see.
“Look.”
Dean, ever the dutiful son, obeyed. He didn’t know what his dad’s face meant, he couldn’t read it.
“What the hell are you apologizing for?” John said. “Don’t you dare apologize to me. Hell, I’m the one who should be saying sorry for... for whatever it is I’ve done that made you think I’d... I’d feel any different about you over this.”
Dean’s brain felt like it was backfiring. “You’re not mad?” God, why the hell did he have to sound so young?
John looked pained. “Of course I’m not! How can you... Look, I’m not gonna say I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t see this one coming. Maybe I’d been too worried about you coming home and telling us you’d got some girl pregnant. I was shocked, okay? But if you think that... Dean, you’re my son. You’re the kid who’d ride on my shoulders in the park, the kid I taught to play baseball, the kid who wanted to help me fix engines. You’re noisy and obnoxious, and you were trouble from the day you were born, and I love you. I love you and Sam so much, I feel like it could kill me. And if you think for one second that anything could change that, much less something like this, then you don’t have half the brains I gave you credit for.”
Dean was absolutely not going to ruin the moment by bursting into loud, girlish sobs. He was not. He inhaled deeply through his nose.
“Does he make you happy?” John’s eyebrows were interrogative.
“Yes, Sir,” Dean whispered.
John nodded. “Castiel’s a good kid; I like him. You’ve been better since he came along.”
“Yes, Sir.”
John got up and turned his back, giving Dean the chance to clear his throat and rub a hand over his eyes. “I have to go out,” he said as soon as he’d gotten control over himself. “Cas’s uncle kicked him out of the house; he doesn’t have anything. I’m gonna go over there and pick up his stuff.”
John made a grunt of approval. “Okay, let’s get going.”
“What?”
His dad looked at him like he was being especially slow this morning. “This is serious between you and Cas, isn’t it?”
“Uh... yeah.”
“Well then, that makes him one of us, and in this family we look out for our own. I’m coming with you. Besides, I don’t like the sound of these people. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go over there by yourself.”
The loud girlish sobs were threatening Dean again, so he just gave his father a curt nod and led the way out of the house.
The drive over to the Delacroix mansion wasn’t nearly as awkward as Dean feared it would be. John, in an uncustomary fit of sensitivity, seemed to detect that Dean was feeling a little fragile and kept topics of conversation to strictly neutral themes, like how work at the garage was going, or the plans he’d made to take Mary to New York for their anniversary that summer. Dean decided that his dad was awesome.
John pulled into Castiel’s driveway and gave a low whistle. “You know, I never quite believed you when you said Cas’s folks were rich. He always looks so much like an unemployed librarian.”
Dean laughed. “I always thought tax accountant, but librarian’s good, too.”
John looked over at him. “You gonna be okay in there? I can come back you up if you want.”
Dean shook his head. In spite of everything, he wasn’t afraid of Zachariah and Michael. “I won’t be long; Cas doesn’t have much stuff.”
“Be careful!” John called after him as he got out of the truck.
It was Zachariah who opened the door, and he looked at Dean expressionlessly. It was like someone had made a man out of dust and ashes.
“I’m here to get Cas’s things,” Dean told him, not looking away.
For a moment it looked like Zachariah wasn’t going to let him in, but then he sighed and stepped to one side. “I assume you know where everything is,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Dean didn’t deign to reply. He’d only been to Castiel’s room once, but he remembered the way. The little attic bedroom was just as he remembered it, but it seemed lonelier now. Dean thought of Cas shut up there for almost a week, and he shuddered. There was a small suitcase under the bed, and Dean filled it with the few clothes Castiel owned. It would be good to get the guy a new wardrobe. At least a pair of jeans. He snapped the clasps shut on the case, and grabbed Castiel’s treasured book collection from the windowsill, lodging the volumes under his arm.
Zachariah was waiting in the hallway when Dean descended the stairs, and he immediately tensed up. He figured he could probably overpower the guy if it came to it, but if Michael was around somewhere Dean would be in trouble. He was really glad that his dad was waiting outside.
“I knew it was you,” Zachariah said, his voice deceptively soft, silky almost. “You corrupted him. Infected him with your filth.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Cas,” Dean growled. “You’re the corrupt one, locking him up like that, telling him he’s sinning, not letting him talk to his father.”
Zachariah smiled nastily. He was like a snake. “The arrogance of ignorant sinners never fails to amaze me.”
“I could say the same.” Dean stepped past him and made for the door, his heart hammering slightly now in spite of himself.
“For what it’s worth,” Zachariah called after him, “I’m sorry that Michael hurt him. Michael is sorry too. We should not surrender to our passions.”
Dean sneered. “No, you prefer oppression and lies. Well, you see how well that worked out for you.”
There was a flash of fury in Zachariah’s eyes, but then he schooled his face back to the calm mask. “Castiel is a lost cause. I did my best for him, I gave him a chance to rectify his sins, but he turned his back on the righteous path. As for my daughter... there is still time. Once Michael has found her.”
He looked so alone, standing there in his grey suit in his gloomy house, in the isolation he’d created for himself.
“You poor, misguided son-of-a-bitch,” Dean breathed. “I’d almost feel sorry for you if you weren’t such a colossal douche.”
“I will pray for you both. I will pray that you renounce your sins and that Castiel returns to the light.”
Dean wasn’t going to listen any more. He let the front door slam shut behind him and resisted the urge to run back to his dad’s truck. Being in that house had left him feeling sick to his stomach.
“You okay?” John asked as soon as Dean climbed in beside him.
“Sure. I’m fine.”
Dean could tell be the glances that kept being thrown his way that John didn’t believe him, and they stopped off at Lou’s diner on the way home where his dad treated him to a cooked breakfast.
It was past ten by the time they were done, and Dean wanted to get home. He needed to see Cas again and make sure everything was okay. John cleared his throat as he manoeuvred into the driveway.
“Dad?”
John was staring very hard at the steering wheel. “You and Cas... you are using protection, right?”
Dean blanched. “Oh my god, Dad!”
“I wouldn’t be doing my duty as a father if I didn’t ask, ‘cause just because there’s no risk of unwanted pregnancy, it doesn’t mean that you-”
“Yes! Yes, we’re being careful! We’re fine. You never have to mention anything like this again!”
“Right,” John said gruffly, not looking at Dean. “Good. Thank you.”
“Oh my god,” Dean muttered, grabbing Castiel’s things and hurrying into the house before his father could do or say anything else excruciatingly embarrassing.
He could hear Mary and Sam moving about in the kitchen, but he didn’t go in. Cas would probably be awake by now.
He wasn’t. Dean knocked gently on his bedroom door before opening it, only to find the other boy still completely dead to the world. In fact, he was pretty sure Cas hadn’t moved an inch since he’d left that morning.
“Hey, Cas?” he called softly.
He didn’t receive any response, so he reached over and gently shook Castiel’s shoulder. Cas’s face crumpled into a bitch face so epic it would put Sam to shame, and he made a soft noise of protest. Chuckling, Dean flopped down onto the bed beside him. “Hey, Mr Comatose, wakey-wakey!”
Castiel jumped and flailed, and Dean had to throw out an arm to stop him from falling off the bed.
“Whoa, Cas, it’s okay! It’s just me.”
Castiel stared up at him with wide, surprised eyes for a moment or two, and then he visibly relaxed. “Dean.”
“Hey, Cas.”
Dean scooted closer and rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder, giving a little sigh of relief when Cas raised a hand to rake his fingers through Dean’s hair. It looked like they were going to be okay.
Castiel glanced over at the clock on Dean’s bedside table and groaned. “Why did you let me sleep so long? Your family will think I’m-”
“Cas, you obviously needed it. Besides, I wasn’t here. I went to fetch your stuff.”
Castiel sat up, dislodging Dean from his shoulder. “What?”
Dean shrugged. “Well, as much as I enjoy the idea of you going around in my clothes every day, I thought you might like your own things. So I went over this morning and got them for you.” He gestured towards the suitcase and pile of books.
Castiel stared at him in horror. “How could you even think of going there alone? What happened? What did they say? They didn’t-”
“It’s fine!” Dean held up his hands like he was trying to calm a startled colt. “It was fine. Michael wasn’t there, it was just Zachariah, and he didn’t try anything. Just spouted a load of sanctimonious, homophobic crap about how we’d damned ourselves and he was going to pray for our souls. He’s not gonna do anything.”
Castiel took a deep, shuddering breath. “What if...”
“What?”
He bit his lip. “What if they’re right?”
“Are you kidding me?” Dean felt like he’d been slapped. “Is that seriously what you believe?”
“No,” Cas replied miserably. “I’m sorry, of course not. What we have is... It’s just that I’ve spent my whole life believing them, following their orders, and it’s hard to...”
“I know. I get it.” Dean pulled him close. “I get it. And I don’t know what the hell I believe in when it comes to God and religion, but I feel like if God does exist, he’s gonna be mad at us for all the war and the cruelty and the injustice that people inflict on each other, not for people who happen to be the same gender falling in love. And if that’s not the case... well, God’s a dick and I don’t care what he thinks. Your family messed you up, that’s all. You know, deep down, what’s right and what isn’t. The way I look at it, if you’re not doing anything that’s gonna hurt someone or hurt yourself, you’re doing just fine. And what we’re doing... well, it’s certainly made my life a hell of a lot easier.”
Castiel nodded, fingers twining in the fabric of Dean’s t-shirt. “I know. I’m just... unfamiliar with the process of thinking for myself. I’ll adjust.”
“Yeah you will. Anyway, I didn’t go there alone - my dad drove me. And he’s cool with us.”
Castiel laughed shakily. “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t have anyone telling me.”
Dean kissed him. “You’ll do what you want. You’ll go to college in the fall. The two of us’ll work something out. I’ll come out and see you when I can, and you can come back here for the holidays. You’re gonna figure out what you wanna do with the rest of your life, and it’s gonna be awesome.”
Castiel nodded seriously. “I still wish you were coming with me.”
Dean didn’t know what to say, so he kissed him instead, pushing gently at Cas’s shoulders so that he lay back again, then pressing him into the mattress, hooking a knee over Castiel’s body. He was probably holding on a little too tightly, but he still didn’t feel safe just yet. He’d never felt before that relationships could be fixed after a fight. He’d never tried before. He needed to just hold on for a bit, in case Cas realized that he’d made a mistake and wanted out. Not that it seemed like he did, from the way he was pushing his hands under Dean’s shirt and pulling him down, pulling him closer, deeper. Dean went with it, powerless to resist, willing to give anything to Cas, everything he-
Dean’s bedroom door slammed open. “Dean, do you still have my...”
Sam froze in the doorway, staring at the two of them on the bed with big horrified eyes. Dean and Castiel, frozen, stared back.
“Uh, oh god, I- I’m sorry,” Sam stuttered. “I’ll just... I’ll... I’m sorry.”
Dean didn’t think he’d ever seen his brother move so fast as he did when exiting the room just then.
He let out a sigh and flipped over to lie beside Castiel. “Well, I guess that solves the problem of how I’m gonna tell Sammy about us.” He glanced over at Cas, who had turned beet red. “You okay, dude?”
“Mm.”
Dean laughed. “Oh come on, it could’ve been worse. At least we were just kissing. I’m gonna go talk to him.”
Dean thought that, all things considered, he’d done pretty well to reach the age of eighteen before getting caught in a compromising position by a family member.
He knocked on Sam’s door and waited a moment or two before he heard a sheepish “Come in.”
Sam was sitting cross-legged on his bed, and Dean laughed out loud when he saw the look on the kid’s face. “You notice what I did there, Sammy?” he said. “The way I knocked, and waited until you said I could come in before busting through the door? It’s a good method, you should really try it our sometime.”
“I’m so sorry, Dean,” Sam mumbled. “I really didn’t... I had no idea you and Cas were...”
“It’s cool. I mean, we hadn’t exactly been public about the whole thing.” He sat down on the bed beside his brother, suddenly a little nervous now that everything was out in the open. “Hey, you’re... I know it’s kinda weird, but are you okay with this? I mean, it doesn’t make you feel... uncomfortable, does it?”
Sam looked genuinely shocked. “Dean, how the hell can you say that? I think Cas is awesome!”
“Yeah, but... the whole thing where he’s a guy...”
Sam frowned. “Dean, I’m a member of the Gay Straight Alliance club! Not that I’d expect you to notice, but I go to meetings every Tuesday lunchtime. And my friend Lily’s gay, you know that. Of course I don’t have a problem with you and Cas being together, that’s ridiculous.” His face lit up with inspiration. “Hey, you should come along to GSA next time! You could give a speech or something, and then maybe I could talk about-”
“Dude, no way! Like hell I’m gonna let you take me in for show-and-tell. God, trust you to turn this into something to geek out over. Jeez.” He punched Sam lightly on the shoulder. “So we’re cool?”
Sam nodded. “Of course we are, you douche. Do Mom and Dad know?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. Cas is gonna stay here for a while.”
“That’s good.” He laughed. “I’m happy for you.”
Dean grinned. “Me too. I mean, it’s... still kinda new and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but... Yeah, Cas is awesome. Weird, but awesome.”
Sam nodded. “Well, I’m in no position to judge when it comes to dating weird people. I mean, my girlfriend spends her spare time making compilation CDs of songs that she thinks represent Angel and Spike’s deep and enduring love for one another.”
Dean looked at him in surprise. “Girlfriend? Wait, we’re not talking about that Ruby chick, are we?”
Sam smiled ruefully. “Nah, you were right about her - she was just using me. Becky and I kind of... Well, once you get past the crazy, she’s actually really sweet and funny, and she likes Doctor Who and The X-Files, and... I dunno. We’re kinda dating now, I guess.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Well... I think it was when she yelled at me in front of the entire school.”
“You’re a strange man, Sam Winchester.”
“I guess it must run in the family.”
Part 2
A/N: here is a little sketch I made of Dean and Cas snuggling. Completely unedited because I cannot afford Photoshop.
Chapter - 12 (part 1)
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - Mild angst, fluff, sexual references.
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
Waking up next to Castiel was different the second time. There was the benefit of being in his own bed and of knowing they were both safe, and that this could be the first of many such mornings. They might be able to actually make this work now.
Castiel’s head was under Dean’s chin, and they were so tightly wrapped around each other Dean wondered how the hell they’d managed to get like that. He wondered why he didn’t feel more uncomfortable. He tried, somewhat half-heartedly, to convince himself that it was all for Castiel. Cas had been denied affection pretty much his whole life, so it wasn’t surprising that he’d feel the need for physical comfort. But then Dean wasn’t exactly being self-sacrificing about it. God, he was snuggling, and he liked it. Dean was a snuggler. He was too happy to be embarrassed.
Dean still couldn’t get his head around the huge clusterfuck that had been the past week. He began to feel guilt stirring in his gut, which was kind of ridiculous all things considered, because Cas himself had admitted that he’d been partly to blame for their falling out, but... Dean felt like he should have known. He felt like he should have had some kind of psychic connection with Cas to let him know the guy was in trouble. All that time, Dean had thought Castiel hated him and was ignoring his calls and not coming to school because he didn’t want to see him. If he’d been thinking clearly he would have figured out that Cas would never sacrifice his perfect attendance record like that. And all those missed calls... Zachariah had probably been looking through them. Zachariah had probably figured the whole thing out by now. The thought gave Dean the creeps. He knew he was being stupid about it, but he should have known. It went back to what Cas had said about that night he’d saved Dean’s life, that he’d been drawn to the lake, that it was fate, he was meant to be in Dean’s life. Why hadn’t Dean felt that? Why hadn’t he known? He almost felt jealous of Castiel for being so much better at this than he was, especially when Cas was so much more deserving. Dean shifted uneasily and Castiel sighed, his arms tightening a little. Dean pulled him close, feeling a surge of love that was almost painful in its intensity. That was something those stupid romance movies never told you - how love hurt, how it felt like it was trying to tear its way out of your chest, how sometimes it had to be endured.
He needed to compensate. It was Castiel’s turn to be the one who got taken care of now, his turn to have a hero. Dean felt like he could be heroic for him. He extracted himself, very carefully, thankful that Cas was too exhausted to wake up easily.
Dean pulled on the jeans that were slung over the back of his desk chair, and found a t-shirt on the floor that wasn’t too dirty. He didn’t need to make an effort for what he had to do this morning. The house was quiet as he padded down the stairs - the Winchesters liked to have a lie-in on Sundays - and so Dean would probably be able to get away without meeting anyone, which was just about perfect as far as he was concerned because he really didn’t need-
“Dean.”
Fuck. Dean really should learn that lesson about not counting his eggs already. He turned round slowly at the front door.
“Hey, Dad.”
John was sitting on the living room couch, and he looked weird. “Come in here for a minute, Dean. I want to talk to you.”
Dean’s stomach twisted with sudden nerves. “What’s up?” He wandered into the room, affecting casualness he didn’t feel, and stood in front of his father. He didn’t sit down.
John looked up at him, the look in his eyes unreadable. “When were you going to tell me? About you and Castiel?”
Dean’s breath stuttered, and he felt for a moment like he was going to pass out. He wanted to say something, but everything in his brain felt like it was screaming. “Mom told you?” he choked.
John shook his head. “Believe it or not, I figured it out for myself. Mary said what had happened with Castiel’s family when I got in last night. I managed to string the rest of it together.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad.” The words escaped Dean in a rush, and in a strange, detached way, he thought how much like a kid he sounded. Like a little boy. “I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to-It wasn’t-I didn’t do it on purpose, it just happened, and I am so sorry. I know you didn’t want-”
Dean became foggily aware that strong hands were gripping his shoulders, holding him steady.
“Dean, breathe,” his father said. “Just breathe, okay? Come sit down.”
Dean let himself be guided onto the couch. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“Dean, look at me.”
John was kneeling in front in him, but Dean was too afraid to look up. He didn’t want to see.
“Look.”
Dean, ever the dutiful son, obeyed. He didn’t know what his dad’s face meant, he couldn’t read it.
“What the hell are you apologizing for?” John said. “Don’t you dare apologize to me. Hell, I’m the one who should be saying sorry for... for whatever it is I’ve done that made you think I’d... I’d feel any different about you over this.”
Dean’s brain felt like it was backfiring. “You’re not mad?” God, why the hell did he have to sound so young?
John looked pained. “Of course I’m not! How can you... Look, I’m not gonna say I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t see this one coming. Maybe I’d been too worried about you coming home and telling us you’d got some girl pregnant. I was shocked, okay? But if you think that... Dean, you’re my son. You’re the kid who’d ride on my shoulders in the park, the kid I taught to play baseball, the kid who wanted to help me fix engines. You’re noisy and obnoxious, and you were trouble from the day you were born, and I love you. I love you and Sam so much, I feel like it could kill me. And if you think for one second that anything could change that, much less something like this, then you don’t have half the brains I gave you credit for.”
Dean was absolutely not going to ruin the moment by bursting into loud, girlish sobs. He was not. He inhaled deeply through his nose.
“Does he make you happy?” John’s eyebrows were interrogative.
“Yes, Sir,” Dean whispered.
John nodded. “Castiel’s a good kid; I like him. You’ve been better since he came along.”
“Yes, Sir.”
John got up and turned his back, giving Dean the chance to clear his throat and rub a hand over his eyes. “I have to go out,” he said as soon as he’d gotten control over himself. “Cas’s uncle kicked him out of the house; he doesn’t have anything. I’m gonna go over there and pick up his stuff.”
John made a grunt of approval. “Okay, let’s get going.”
“What?”
His dad looked at him like he was being especially slow this morning. “This is serious between you and Cas, isn’t it?”
“Uh... yeah.”
“Well then, that makes him one of us, and in this family we look out for our own. I’m coming with you. Besides, I don’t like the sound of these people. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go over there by yourself.”
The loud girlish sobs were threatening Dean again, so he just gave his father a curt nod and led the way out of the house.
The drive over to the Delacroix mansion wasn’t nearly as awkward as Dean feared it would be. John, in an uncustomary fit of sensitivity, seemed to detect that Dean was feeling a little fragile and kept topics of conversation to strictly neutral themes, like how work at the garage was going, or the plans he’d made to take Mary to New York for their anniversary that summer. Dean decided that his dad was awesome.
John pulled into Castiel’s driveway and gave a low whistle. “You know, I never quite believed you when you said Cas’s folks were rich. He always looks so much like an unemployed librarian.”
Dean laughed. “I always thought tax accountant, but librarian’s good, too.”
John looked over at him. “You gonna be okay in there? I can come back you up if you want.”
Dean shook his head. In spite of everything, he wasn’t afraid of Zachariah and Michael. “I won’t be long; Cas doesn’t have much stuff.”
“Be careful!” John called after him as he got out of the truck.
It was Zachariah who opened the door, and he looked at Dean expressionlessly. It was like someone had made a man out of dust and ashes.
“I’m here to get Cas’s things,” Dean told him, not looking away.
For a moment it looked like Zachariah wasn’t going to let him in, but then he sighed and stepped to one side. “I assume you know where everything is,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Dean didn’t deign to reply. He’d only been to Castiel’s room once, but he remembered the way. The little attic bedroom was just as he remembered it, but it seemed lonelier now. Dean thought of Cas shut up there for almost a week, and he shuddered. There was a small suitcase under the bed, and Dean filled it with the few clothes Castiel owned. It would be good to get the guy a new wardrobe. At least a pair of jeans. He snapped the clasps shut on the case, and grabbed Castiel’s treasured book collection from the windowsill, lodging the volumes under his arm.
Zachariah was waiting in the hallway when Dean descended the stairs, and he immediately tensed up. He figured he could probably overpower the guy if it came to it, but if Michael was around somewhere Dean would be in trouble. He was really glad that his dad was waiting outside.
“I knew it was you,” Zachariah said, his voice deceptively soft, silky almost. “You corrupted him. Infected him with your filth.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Cas,” Dean growled. “You’re the corrupt one, locking him up like that, telling him he’s sinning, not letting him talk to his father.”
Zachariah smiled nastily. He was like a snake. “The arrogance of ignorant sinners never fails to amaze me.”
“I could say the same.” Dean stepped past him and made for the door, his heart hammering slightly now in spite of himself.
“For what it’s worth,” Zachariah called after him, “I’m sorry that Michael hurt him. Michael is sorry too. We should not surrender to our passions.”
Dean sneered. “No, you prefer oppression and lies. Well, you see how well that worked out for you.”
There was a flash of fury in Zachariah’s eyes, but then he schooled his face back to the calm mask. “Castiel is a lost cause. I did my best for him, I gave him a chance to rectify his sins, but he turned his back on the righteous path. As for my daughter... there is still time. Once Michael has found her.”
He looked so alone, standing there in his grey suit in his gloomy house, in the isolation he’d created for himself.
“You poor, misguided son-of-a-bitch,” Dean breathed. “I’d almost feel sorry for you if you weren’t such a colossal douche.”
“I will pray for you both. I will pray that you renounce your sins and that Castiel returns to the light.”
Dean wasn’t going to listen any more. He let the front door slam shut behind him and resisted the urge to run back to his dad’s truck. Being in that house had left him feeling sick to his stomach.
“You okay?” John asked as soon as Dean climbed in beside him.
“Sure. I’m fine.”
Dean could tell be the glances that kept being thrown his way that John didn’t believe him, and they stopped off at Lou’s diner on the way home where his dad treated him to a cooked breakfast.
It was past ten by the time they were done, and Dean wanted to get home. He needed to see Cas again and make sure everything was okay. John cleared his throat as he manoeuvred into the driveway.
“Dad?”
John was staring very hard at the steering wheel. “You and Cas... you are using protection, right?”
Dean blanched. “Oh my god, Dad!”
“I wouldn’t be doing my duty as a father if I didn’t ask, ‘cause just because there’s no risk of unwanted pregnancy, it doesn’t mean that you-”
“Yes! Yes, we’re being careful! We’re fine. You never have to mention anything like this again!”
“Right,” John said gruffly, not looking at Dean. “Good. Thank you.”
“Oh my god,” Dean muttered, grabbing Castiel’s things and hurrying into the house before his father could do or say anything else excruciatingly embarrassing.
He could hear Mary and Sam moving about in the kitchen, but he didn’t go in. Cas would probably be awake by now.
He wasn’t. Dean knocked gently on his bedroom door before opening it, only to find the other boy still completely dead to the world. In fact, he was pretty sure Cas hadn’t moved an inch since he’d left that morning.
“Hey, Cas?” he called softly.
He didn’t receive any response, so he reached over and gently shook Castiel’s shoulder. Cas’s face crumpled into a bitch face so epic it would put Sam to shame, and he made a soft noise of protest. Chuckling, Dean flopped down onto the bed beside him. “Hey, Mr Comatose, wakey-wakey!”
Castiel jumped and flailed, and Dean had to throw out an arm to stop him from falling off the bed.
“Whoa, Cas, it’s okay! It’s just me.”
Castiel stared up at him with wide, surprised eyes for a moment or two, and then he visibly relaxed. “Dean.”
“Hey, Cas.”
Dean scooted closer and rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder, giving a little sigh of relief when Cas raised a hand to rake his fingers through Dean’s hair. It looked like they were going to be okay.
Castiel glanced over at the clock on Dean’s bedside table and groaned. “Why did you let me sleep so long? Your family will think I’m-”
“Cas, you obviously needed it. Besides, I wasn’t here. I went to fetch your stuff.”
Castiel sat up, dislodging Dean from his shoulder. “What?”
Dean shrugged. “Well, as much as I enjoy the idea of you going around in my clothes every day, I thought you might like your own things. So I went over this morning and got them for you.” He gestured towards the suitcase and pile of books.
Castiel stared at him in horror. “How could you even think of going there alone? What happened? What did they say? They didn’t-”
“It’s fine!” Dean held up his hands like he was trying to calm a startled colt. “It was fine. Michael wasn’t there, it was just Zachariah, and he didn’t try anything. Just spouted a load of sanctimonious, homophobic crap about how we’d damned ourselves and he was going to pray for our souls. He’s not gonna do anything.”
Castiel took a deep, shuddering breath. “What if...”
“What?”
He bit his lip. “What if they’re right?”
“Are you kidding me?” Dean felt like he’d been slapped. “Is that seriously what you believe?”
“No,” Cas replied miserably. “I’m sorry, of course not. What we have is... It’s just that I’ve spent my whole life believing them, following their orders, and it’s hard to...”
“I know. I get it.” Dean pulled him close. “I get it. And I don’t know what the hell I believe in when it comes to God and religion, but I feel like if God does exist, he’s gonna be mad at us for all the war and the cruelty and the injustice that people inflict on each other, not for people who happen to be the same gender falling in love. And if that’s not the case... well, God’s a dick and I don’t care what he thinks. Your family messed you up, that’s all. You know, deep down, what’s right and what isn’t. The way I look at it, if you’re not doing anything that’s gonna hurt someone or hurt yourself, you’re doing just fine. And what we’re doing... well, it’s certainly made my life a hell of a lot easier.”
Castiel nodded, fingers twining in the fabric of Dean’s t-shirt. “I know. I’m just... unfamiliar with the process of thinking for myself. I’ll adjust.”
“Yeah you will. Anyway, I didn’t go there alone - my dad drove me. And he’s cool with us.”
Castiel laughed shakily. “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t have anyone telling me.”
Dean kissed him. “You’ll do what you want. You’ll go to college in the fall. The two of us’ll work something out. I’ll come out and see you when I can, and you can come back here for the holidays. You’re gonna figure out what you wanna do with the rest of your life, and it’s gonna be awesome.”
Castiel nodded seriously. “I still wish you were coming with me.”
Dean didn’t know what to say, so he kissed him instead, pushing gently at Cas’s shoulders so that he lay back again, then pressing him into the mattress, hooking a knee over Castiel’s body. He was probably holding on a little too tightly, but he still didn’t feel safe just yet. He’d never felt before that relationships could be fixed after a fight. He’d never tried before. He needed to just hold on for a bit, in case Cas realized that he’d made a mistake and wanted out. Not that it seemed like he did, from the way he was pushing his hands under Dean’s shirt and pulling him down, pulling him closer, deeper. Dean went with it, powerless to resist, willing to give anything to Cas, everything he-
Dean’s bedroom door slammed open. “Dean, do you still have my...”
Sam froze in the doorway, staring at the two of them on the bed with big horrified eyes. Dean and Castiel, frozen, stared back.
“Uh, oh god, I- I’m sorry,” Sam stuttered. “I’ll just... I’ll... I’m sorry.”
Dean didn’t think he’d ever seen his brother move so fast as he did when exiting the room just then.
He let out a sigh and flipped over to lie beside Castiel. “Well, I guess that solves the problem of how I’m gonna tell Sammy about us.” He glanced over at Cas, who had turned beet red. “You okay, dude?”
“Mm.”
Dean laughed. “Oh come on, it could’ve been worse. At least we were just kissing. I’m gonna go talk to him.”
Dean thought that, all things considered, he’d done pretty well to reach the age of eighteen before getting caught in a compromising position by a family member.
He knocked on Sam’s door and waited a moment or two before he heard a sheepish “Come in.”
Sam was sitting cross-legged on his bed, and Dean laughed out loud when he saw the look on the kid’s face. “You notice what I did there, Sammy?” he said. “The way I knocked, and waited until you said I could come in before busting through the door? It’s a good method, you should really try it our sometime.”
“I’m so sorry, Dean,” Sam mumbled. “I really didn’t... I had no idea you and Cas were...”
“It’s cool. I mean, we hadn’t exactly been public about the whole thing.” He sat down on the bed beside his brother, suddenly a little nervous now that everything was out in the open. “Hey, you’re... I know it’s kinda weird, but are you okay with this? I mean, it doesn’t make you feel... uncomfortable, does it?”
Sam looked genuinely shocked. “Dean, how the hell can you say that? I think Cas is awesome!”
“Yeah, but... the whole thing where he’s a guy...”
Sam frowned. “Dean, I’m a member of the Gay Straight Alliance club! Not that I’d expect you to notice, but I go to meetings every Tuesday lunchtime. And my friend Lily’s gay, you know that. Of course I don’t have a problem with you and Cas being together, that’s ridiculous.” His face lit up with inspiration. “Hey, you should come along to GSA next time! You could give a speech or something, and then maybe I could talk about-”
“Dude, no way! Like hell I’m gonna let you take me in for show-and-tell. God, trust you to turn this into something to geek out over. Jeez.” He punched Sam lightly on the shoulder. “So we’re cool?”
Sam nodded. “Of course we are, you douche. Do Mom and Dad know?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. Cas is gonna stay here for a while.”
“That’s good.” He laughed. “I’m happy for you.”
Dean grinned. “Me too. I mean, it’s... still kinda new and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but... Yeah, Cas is awesome. Weird, but awesome.”
Sam nodded. “Well, I’m in no position to judge when it comes to dating weird people. I mean, my girlfriend spends her spare time making compilation CDs of songs that she thinks represent Angel and Spike’s deep and enduring love for one another.”
Dean looked at him in surprise. “Girlfriend? Wait, we’re not talking about that Ruby chick, are we?”
Sam smiled ruefully. “Nah, you were right about her - she was just using me. Becky and I kind of... Well, once you get past the crazy, she’s actually really sweet and funny, and she likes Doctor Who and The X-Files, and... I dunno. We’re kinda dating now, I guess.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Well... I think it was when she yelled at me in front of the entire school.”
“You’re a strange man, Sam Winchester.”
“I guess it must run in the family.”
Part 2
A/N: here is a little sketch I made of Dean and Cas snuggling. Completely unedited because I cannot afford Photoshop.