freeeeeeeeeeeee bird
I've put in my notice regarding my column. I just think it's time. Both of my editors are upset and they're begging me to reconsider, and it's tough not to reverse my decision when someone's praising you up to high heaven and back down again. But it's been thirteen years, it's been a good run, and the column is no longer doing anything for me. It's not getting my name out there, it's not helping me become a better writer, and few of the papers are really even running it, honestly... it's just eating up six hours of my Sunday, and after thirteen years, I kind of want my Sundays back for other projects that are a) more fun and b) may actually get me somewhere.
The column is the last thing connecting me to my old life in Albany and Orlando, and I think that's very important. I'm trying to really start over, to do all of the things that I wanted to do ten years ago but that I pushed aside to "pursue my career." Now that I've failed at that, I'm experimenting with freedom. Freedom! Not saying, "Sorry, I have to work" to everything! Saying "can't stay late, I have company!" Holy shit! Next week, I'm going to be spending Saturday at an SCA performer's revel. Some evenings, I grab my AlphaSmart and spend all evening at the vegan cafe writing. Not working 24/7 is insane and I've discovered that I really, really like it. Having the time to devote to words feels almost sinful. I want this time. I need this time. I did 3k last Sunday just drinking coffee and hanging out at veganville. It was more therapeutic than all of the therapy I had in '14.
Oh, and I had a cancer scare. No cancer. So that's good.
And it might have something to do with the fact that I'm quitting all the things I hate and only doing the things that make me happy.
Am I insane?