Been awhile since I posted stuff other than memes and fic prompts. I dropped the ball on advent calendar but I'm hoping to finish the prompt I owe soon. *crosses fingers
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my previous comment here was even longer, this is the best I can dofullofowlsJanuary 22 2011, 03:27:36 UTC
I know exactly what you are talking about, even though I was quite thin up til a few years ago (and am still pretty skinny compared to many people). I watched in pained incomprehension as it happened to my friends, starting at the age of eleven, and until I started gaining weight myself I could not understand how the opinions of people you don't even know could have such a terrible effect.
I am most definitely not asexual, and these days I've lost a lot of my old self-consciousness, but even now any faint sensation of "I feel sexy" is instantly extinguished when a man compliments me. It just makes me wish burqas were socially acceptable. I want to yell, "I AM A PERSON, NOT A PIECE OF MEAT FOR YOU TO STARE AT!", and the terrible thing is it doesn't make a difference if the person means it in an innocent genuinely admiring way (which sometimes happens), I still feel utterly revolted
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Re: my previous comment here was even longer, this is the best I can doladyyuehJanuary 22 2011, 05:32:12 UTC
any faint sensation of "I feel sexy" is instantly extinguished when a man compliments me. It just makes me wish burqas were socially acceptable. I want to yell, "I AM A PERSON, NOT A PIECE OF MEAT FOR YOU TO STARE AT!", and the terrible thing is it doesn't make a difference if the person means it in an innocent genuinely admiring way (which sometimes happens), I still feel utterly revolted.
THIS! This is it exactly. It's happened that I'm out and I feel pretty and put together and then some guy says something and I want to cover up.
OH NOES SKINNY PEOPLE PROBLEMS, amirite?Hey, none of that, okay? For me, it's not about skinny or fat it's about how society puts this unrealistic image on women. So that even "skinny" women get shit for not being "skinny" enough or not being "pretty" enough or "sexy" enough. Like you said it's about warping young minds so that they have unrealistic views of their bodies and go to great and unhealthy lengths to meet impossible standards. And even if it doesn't get to that degree you still have all the
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Oh man. I /hate/ that. When people think they have the right to make comments about your body it's just...ugh. THIS. I stopped caring and started to answer that it's not their problem... and if somebody annoys me and keeps going I tend to answer "You don't like my xy? Then work on yours instead of mine. As far as I remember it's my xy not yours so I'll do whatever I want with it."
Because it seems like some guys take it like some green light that I'm dressing up for /them/ and that I want their attention. I dress up for me, because I want to feel pretty not because I want some guy to "notice" me. I usually don't dress up at all. I feel the most comfortable in my jeans, sweaters and T-shirts, so when I HAVE TO dress up, for example a wedding or something, I never wera dresses, because I don't feel comfortable in them. Dressing up for ourselves is the best option. I never got much attention from guys (not that I'd want any, I'm a happy single and plan to stay that way), but when one guy started to hinting things, I told him "Yeah, my
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Oh, yes. Mostly it's jeans for me, but I've come to like dresses and skirts now that everyone's stopped telling me that I should wear them and I'm more comfortable in my skin. Pretty fabrics and swishiness get to me! :D I have been known to stay home all day dressed in a dress or skirt just because I felt like it. Or trying on a bunch of outfits without going anywhere, but just to feel nice.
Oh, man. Good call playing to parent card. Of course it will be more difficult to explain why I don't date when I grow a little older. Since I won't be able to pull the "study" card. XD
I think guys would get more attention if they tried a different track than "you're hot". So many girls must be tired of that. At least compliment a smile, her manicure, etc.
I don't know about people realizing they need to stop giving "advice" to strangers. Most people won't change if they're called out by a stranger
I know all about long comments. XD
You're awesome too, sweets. *glomps* I had nutella. Mmm.
I have two skirts I wear but only at home and only when it's too hot XDDD Other tan that, I love my jeans. I love dresses and skirts, but only smebody else wears them XDDD
LOL, lots of people ask me why I don't date (and "because I don't want to" doesn't work on them _O_) so I always say that I have better things to do, like drawing, playing computer games and reading lots of books XDDD That works, too, when I want somebody to keep their thoughts to themselves ^^
So many girls must be tired of that. Probably. Though I'm not an expert. Dating isn't really my area so I don't talk about it with the other girls...
I spend most of my time in jeans and t-shirts, because I don't feel particularly comfortable in other clothes. Most of my friends are male, and being sixteen year olds are constantly making sex jokes (although at least now they've stopped going "hurr hurr emma's a lesbian" because i said i wouldn't have sex with any of them) and it just kind of... makes me loath to wear nicer clothes because I know they'll start objectifying me and. urgh.
I do dress up occasionally, and when I do, I feel good! But that's usually after the argument with my mother about what I want to wear and how it won't "look right" dkgbhfdkghdfg /issues.
I WILL GO SIT IN THE CORNER WITH MY 30D BREASTS AND MY SIZE 10 HIPS AND ANGST QUIETLY NOW.
tl;dr: i wish i wasn't so self-concious and liked my body more.
When someone says you're a lesbian because you won't have sex with them/acknowledge their supreme attractiveness, just look understanding and say, "Oh, so that's why there are so many of them!"
(Pointing out that being a lesbian is OK will probably not do any good with that type of person.)
That just sucks. I hate it that we have to think about what other people think we're "saying" when we dress.
Oh, sweetie. I still get self-conscious about my body and I try as hard as I can to accept who I am. So, I guess what I'm saying is that it sucks that people make comments that make us feel like crap about our bodies. *hugs you*
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maybe one day everyone who does jerky things, intentionally or not, will just wake up and, you know, not do it anymore?
fwiw, you are awesome so they can all go suck a monkey. :)
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maybe one day everyone who does jerky things, intentionally or not, will just wake up and, you know, not do it anymore?
If only it were that easy.
*sips tea*
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I am most definitely not asexual, and these days I've lost a lot of my old self-consciousness, but even now any faint sensation of "I feel sexy" is instantly extinguished when a man compliments me. It just makes me wish burqas were socially acceptable. I want to yell, "I AM A PERSON, NOT A PIECE OF MEAT FOR YOU TO STARE AT!", and the terrible thing is it doesn't make a difference if the person means it in an innocent genuinely admiring way (which sometimes happens), I still feel utterly revolted ( ... )
Reply
THIS! This is it exactly. It's happened that I'm out and I feel pretty and put together and then some guy says something and I want to cover up.
OH NOES SKINNY PEOPLE PROBLEMS, amirite?Hey, none of that, okay? For me, it's not about skinny or fat it's about how society puts this unrealistic image on women. So that even "skinny" women get shit for not being "skinny" enough or not being "pretty" enough or "sexy" enough. Like you said it's about warping young minds so that they have unrealistic views of their bodies and go to great and unhealthy lengths to meet impossible standards. And even if it doesn't get to that degree you still have all the ( ... )
Reply
THIS. I stopped caring and started to answer that it's not their problem... and if somebody annoys me and keeps going I tend to answer "You don't like my xy? Then work on yours instead of mine. As far as I remember it's my xy not yours so I'll do whatever I want with it."
Because it seems like some guys take it like some green light that I'm dressing up for /them/ and that I want their attention. I dress up for me, because I want to feel pretty not because I want some guy to "notice" me. I usually don't dress up at all. I feel the most comfortable in my jeans, sweaters and T-shirts, so when I HAVE TO dress up, for example a wedding or something, I never wera dresses, because I don't feel comfortable in them. Dressing up for ourselves is the best option. I never got much attention from guys (not that I'd want any, I'm a happy single and plan to stay that way), but when one guy started to hinting things, I told him "Yeah, my ( ... )
Reply
Oh, man. Good call playing to parent card. Of course it will be more difficult to explain why I don't date when I grow a little older. Since I won't be able to pull the "study" card. XD
I think guys would get more attention if they tried a different track than "you're hot". So many girls must be tired of that. At least compliment a smile, her manicure, etc.
I don't know about people realizing they need to stop giving "advice" to strangers. Most people won't change if they're called out by a stranger
I know all about long comments. XD
You're awesome too, sweets. *glomps* I had nutella. Mmm.
Reply
LOL, lots of people ask me why I don't date (and "because I don't want to" doesn't work on them _O_) so I always say that I have better things to do, like drawing, playing computer games and reading lots of books XDDD That works, too, when I want somebody to keep their thoughts to themselves ^^
So many girls must be tired of that.
Probably. Though I'm not an expert. Dating isn't really my area so I don't talk about it with the other girls...
ROFL, long comments rocks XDD
*glomps back*
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I spend most of my time in jeans and t-shirts, because I don't feel particularly comfortable in other clothes. Most of my friends are male, and being sixteen year olds are constantly making sex jokes (although at least now they've stopped going "hurr hurr emma's a lesbian" because i said i wouldn't have sex with any of them) and it just kind of... makes me loath to wear nicer clothes because I know they'll start objectifying me and. urgh.
I do dress up occasionally, and when I do, I feel good! But that's usually after the argument with my mother about what I want to wear and how it won't "look right" dkgbhfdkghdfg /issues.
I WILL GO SIT IN THE CORNER WITH MY 30D BREASTS AND MY SIZE 10 HIPS AND ANGST QUIETLY NOW.
tl;dr: i wish i wasn't so self-concious and liked my body more.
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(Pointing out that being a lesbian is OK will probably not do any good with that type of person.)
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That just sucks. I hate it that we have to think about what other people think we're "saying" when we dress.
Oh, sweetie. I still get self-conscious about my body and I try as hard as I can to accept who I am. So, I guess what I'm saying is that it sucks that people make comments that make us feel like crap about our bodies. *hugs you*
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