What is this flower before me?
Hell of a nice night, tonight.
Met for the second time a friend of Mel's who is genuinely awesome folk--bright, loud (a marked bonus for me right now), kind, willing to be friendly, willing to argue, willing to get in amongst us. So fine a person. :D
And she and Mike, when they got to talking, seemed to find they were resonating in a harmonious chord. As in, we didn't see Mike in the mass of the party because he and she took up residence in the kitchen trading worldviews and histories.
And for once...that didn't irk me.
I have a hard and largely useless possessive streak when it comes to my friends, and it gets deeper for friends with whom I've shared skin. Gods be with the person who tries to make time with that friend and also make friends with me: I'm a tough crowd. Are you going to hurt my person? Are you going to encourage my person to never be around me or us? Are you going to try to change things about my person that my person hasn't expressed any desire to change? Are you a good person yourself (or at least a harmonious kind of bad)? What are your personal ethics like? I have questions for you, Person Who Is Trying To Get With Person I Love, and these are fuckin' them.
And it's useless because I don't get a vote in any of that. So I tend to keep it close to the vest, restrict my shit to stuff that's in my sphere. Like how much of my energy do I give this person, and how eloquently do I say "HELL nah," when Mel says "we should totally set them up!"
Because Mel's got some shit taste in folk-to-set-folk-up-with.
But tonight? No setup. Just folks at a party and a spark lighting.
And now I've got a new friend and Mike's spent a night talking to an awesome stranger and Kay--the friend--has been herself AND wholly accepted in a place and also spent a night talking to an awesome stranger, and... ~quiet grin~ If that turns into a thing, between them, then yay.
I.
Okay. One side of me is sad, knowing the pull I used to have with Mike will now be gone, if he and Kay become a thing. If I told you I was 100% over and past him, I'd be about 2% lying. This is part of the tough-crowd thing.
But most of the rest of me...is actually kindof jazzed about the idea. Because she's all of the cool things I thought of her before she and Mike hit it off, and if they become a thing, I might get to hang out with her more often.
And that's. That's a new feeling. A lot like realising how veryvery good Matt and Cat are together. My world got one person bigger; it's not the loss I'd braced for.
And?
A couple of nights ago, I asked That Which Is to put someone in Mike's path who... Who would thrive with him and with whom he would thrive. Someone who would harmonise with him and shine with him and be strong with him. No hurry on the request--just, when he's open to seeing her & she's open to seeing him, O Universe, open a way. Don't grab just anybody: find Mike someone special who'll see him as special too.
And while we're at it, O Universe, help me find the peaceful heart to let him go and be and do however he needs to, even if that means we don't see each other around anymore.
And then this.
...Magic is the art of seeing rainclouds and digging a furrow from your downspout down to your garden.
Thank you, O Universe. I see you.
Met for the second time a friend of Mel's who is genuinely awesome folk--bright, loud (a marked bonus for me right now), kind, willing to be friendly, willing to argue, willing to get in amongst us. So fine a person. :D
And she and Mike, when they got to talking, seemed to find they were resonating in a harmonious chord. As in, we didn't see Mike in the mass of the party because he and she took up residence in the kitchen trading worldviews and histories.
And for once...that didn't irk me.
I have a hard and largely useless possessive streak when it comes to my friends, and it gets deeper for friends with whom I've shared skin. Gods be with the person who tries to make time with that friend and also make friends with me: I'm a tough crowd. Are you going to hurt my person? Are you going to encourage my person to never be around me or us? Are you going to try to change things about my person that my person hasn't expressed any desire to change? Are you a good person yourself (or at least a harmonious kind of bad)? What are your personal ethics like? I have questions for you, Person Who Is Trying To Get With Person I Love, and these are fuckin' them.
And it's useless because I don't get a vote in any of that. So I tend to keep it close to the vest, restrict my shit to stuff that's in my sphere. Like how much of my energy do I give this person, and how eloquently do I say "HELL nah," when Mel says "we should totally set them up!"
Because Mel's got some shit taste in folk-to-set-folk-up-with.
But tonight? No setup. Just folks at a party and a spark lighting.
And now I've got a new friend and Mike's spent a night talking to an awesome stranger and Kay--the friend--has been herself AND wholly accepted in a place and also spent a night talking to an awesome stranger, and... ~quiet grin~ If that turns into a thing, between them, then yay.
I.
Okay. One side of me is sad, knowing the pull I used to have with Mike will now be gone, if he and Kay become a thing. If I told you I was 100% over and past him, I'd be about 2% lying. This is part of the tough-crowd thing.
But most of the rest of me...is actually kindof jazzed about the idea. Because she's all of the cool things I thought of her before she and Mike hit it off, and if they become a thing, I might get to hang out with her more often.
And that's. That's a new feeling. A lot like realising how veryvery good Matt and Cat are together. My world got one person bigger; it's not the loss I'd braced for.
And?
A couple of nights ago, I asked That Which Is to put someone in Mike's path who... Who would thrive with him and with whom he would thrive. Someone who would harmonise with him and shine with him and be strong with him. No hurry on the request--just, when he's open to seeing her & she's open to seeing him, O Universe, open a way. Don't grab just anybody: find Mike someone special who'll see him as special too.
And while we're at it, O Universe, help me find the peaceful heart to let him go and be and do however he needs to, even if that means we don't see each other around anymore.
And then this.
...Magic is the art of seeing rainclouds and digging a furrow from your downspout down to your garden.
Thank you, O Universe. I see you.