"Then it turns ROMANTIC with a GIANT SASH made of two shades of orange!"
I will change the Christmas icons. Sometime. Promise. *hugs Santa!boys*
I have no excuse to be exhausted, but here we are. A rundown of today: slept in 'til 11, skipping three classes, went out for lunch, came home to shower, watched three hour silent film for film class, went for supper. That is it. I think I might be getting a sinus cold, but still. Hehheh. I is laaaame.
I have to hand in the form for my internship placement tomorrow. NERVE WRACKING. There's a chance they'll stick me in Regina and I DON'T WANNA GO TO REGINA. Plus if I lives here I has free rent. Plz to not send me to Regina. There's a part on the form where you can whine about where you want to be placed and I keep looking it over and wondering if I can make it any more whiny. Plzplzplz no to Regina. It probably wouldn't be so bad, maybe I could live with Cherith (which would be TERRIFYING), butbutbut. Don't wanna. Whimper.
The brain, she is dead, so here be all the terrible drabbles that I sent to people in their Christmas cards. I is a winnar. And not at all lazy. No. Cough.
A Homely Day To Cuddle (for petarrr)
Patrice stepped mutely out into the alluring sunshine, and admired Wayne's chest. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a primordial sight."
Wayne climbed off the pencil and walked abominably across the grass to greet his lover. Patrice patted Wayne on the nose and then tried to cuddle him expeditiously, but without success.
"That's all right," Wayne said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not obtuse," Patrice. "Not as obtuse as the time we cuddled under a rock."
Wayne nodded feebly. "We were phat back in those days."
"Our earlobes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Patrice said. "Everything seems exquisite and transcendent when you're young."
"Of course," Wayne said. "But now we're splendiferous, we can still have fun. If we go about it incoherently."
"Incoherently?" Patrice said . "But how?"
"With this," Wayne said and held out a statuesque apricot. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to cuddle."
Patrice swallowed the apricot at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to cuddle incoherently. They cuddled like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
The Adventure Of The Gorilla (for dragged_up)
Gary and David were out for an exquisite Valentine's walk under a rock. As they went, David rested his hand on Gary's earlobe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so obtuse, Gary was filled with alluring dread.
"Do you suppose it's statuesque here?" he asked expeditiously.
"You splendiferous silly," David said, tickling Gary with his pencil. "It's completely transcendent."
Just then, a primordial gorilla leapt out from behind a hand sanitizer and cuddled David in the nose. "Aaargh!" David screamed.
Things looked homely. But Gary, although he was phat, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed an apricot and, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people, beat the gorilla feebly until it ran off. "That will teach you to cuddle innocent people."
Then he clasped David close. David was bleeding abominably. "My darling," Gary said, and pressed his lips to David's chest.
"I love you," David said mutely, and expired in Gary's arms.
Gary never loved again.
The Gorilla Prince (for denorios)
David was walking through a homely meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a transcendent little gorilla lying under a tree.
David skipped over to see the dear thing and was obtuse to find that he was hurt! An apricot had pierced his alluring little chest and he whimpered incoherently with the pain.
"My splendiferous little friend," David said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the apricot, as feebly as he could. The gorilla cried out and David's heart ached, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. "You'll be all right," David whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Gary and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Gary up in his arms, David carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, David nursed Gary , cleaning his chest and feeding him Hand sanitizer-brand gorilla chow.
On the eighth night, Gary climbed into bed with David . He burrowed under the covers and expeditiously cuddled David's nose. It made David giggle and he cuddled close to Gary, stroking his earlobe and singing mutely to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, David hurried home so he could curl up with Gary. It gave him a statuesque feeling whenever Gary cuddled his nose.
Then one night, Gary looked up at David and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a phat prince."
David screamed abominably, he was so surprised. How could a gorilla talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Gary said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," David said and kissed Gary on his earlobe. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a phat prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Gary ," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" David said.
"See?" Gary said and showed David the scar from the apricot on his chest. Then he kissed David and they tumbled under a rock and did a lot of very primordial things, some of them involving an exquisite pencil.
"I love you," Gary said when they were done. David clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Gary had stashed away.
And if Gary didn't know about David's visits to the gorilla sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
Abominably Tripping (for bottle_of_smoke)
Gary tripped along expeditiously. He was on his way to meet his lover, David, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a gorilla hopping along, carrying a pencil in its mouth.
Gary was almost under a rock when he came across a transcendent cake, lying alone on a homely plate. "That must be a treat from my alluring bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked statuesque, so he ate it.
It gave him the most phat tingling sensation in his earlobe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see David.
When David came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Gary cried feebly.
"Your chest! And your nose!" David said. "They're primordial! Can't you feel it?"
Gary felt his chest and his nose. They were indeed quite primordial. "Oh, no!" Gary said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that transcendent cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," David said. "I got you an apricot. It must have been that exquisite man who lives nearby. He acts a little incoherently, ever since he cuddled a hand sanitizer."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Gary sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," David said mutely, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your chest is really splendiferous like that."
"Really?" Gary dried her tears. Gary kissed David and it was an entirely obtuse sensation, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
They spent the night having entirely obtuse sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
A Hand Sanitizer In Time (for mittelfeld)
On a phat and statuesque morning, Milan sat under a rock. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nose ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Harry to love someone with an exquisite earlobe?
Feebly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a transcendent homely pencil, all on a summer's day. I wish my Harry would cuddle me, in his own primordial way..."
"Do you?" Harry sat down beside Milan and put his hand on Milan's chest. "I think that could be arranged."
Milan gasped mutely. "But what about my exquisite earlobe?"
"I like it," Harry said expeditiously. "I think it's splendiferous."
They came together and their kiss was like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
"I love you," Milan said abominably.
"I love you too," Harry replied and cuddled him.
They bought a gorilla, moved in together, and lived incoherently ever after.
The Transcendent Stranger (for leetje)
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Ruud strode along the path, making for Statuesque Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Obtuse Apricot, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Earlobe.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his primordial pencil just in time to face the alluring man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck abominably, and Ruud barely raised his pencil to meet the attack. They fought long and expeditiously until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Ruud found himself forced to one knee, the man's pencil pressed to his phat nose. "I am Cristiano of Statuesque Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Obtuse Apricot. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you under a rock."
But Ruud had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his pencil with a twist, overpowered Cristiano and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Ruud said, looking down upon him.
Cristiano's chest shimmered like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. "I have underestimated you, Ruud. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Ruud's desire was enflamed. His nose throbbed and all his thoughts were to cuddle Cristiano like a gorilla. Ruud caressed Cristiano's homely chest and he responded. They came together incoherently, and their joining was as exquisite as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet hand sanitizer!" Ruud groaned and cuddled Cristiano as mutely as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Ruud said. "That's where I put the Obtuse Apricot for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed feebly on the grass, forgetful of all but their splendiferous love. "We will stay together forever," Cristiano said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Earlobe never got the Obtuse Apricot and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
I'm Dreaming Of A Transcendent Christmas (for cista)
It was Christmas Eve. Wayne sat incoherently under a rock, sipping primordial eggnog.
He looked at the splendiferous apricot hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Cristiano had hung it there, just before they looked at each other abominably and then fell into each other's arms and cuddled each other's chest.
If only I hadn't been so statuesque, Wayne thought, pouring a phat amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Cristiano might not have got so homely and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away an obtuse tear and held his nose in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an alluring voice lifted mutely up in song.
I'm dreaming of a transcendent Christmas
Just like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people
Wayne ran to the door. It was Cristiano, looking exquisite all over with snow.
"I missed you expeditiously," Cristiano said. "And I wanted to cuddle your chest again."
Wayne hugged Cristiano and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Cristiano said.
"I think so too," Wayne said and they cuddled each other's chest until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted gorilla earlobe and lived feebly until Wayne got drunk again.
An Alluring Occurrence (for yanks02)
John paced up and down, jiggling his nose. His very good friend, Mary Sue Apricot, had arranged to meet him here under a rock. "I have something transcendent to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Apricot was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, John expected to see her bounce up, her exquisite hair streaming behind her and her homely eyes aglow.
John heard footsteps, but they seemed rather obtuse for a delicate and statuesque girl like Mary Sue Apricot, whose tread was splendiferous. He turned around and found Frank staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Frank said feebly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
John had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so expeditiously. "Mary Sue Apricot asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Frank , his chest began to throb incoherently.
"Oh," Frank said, abominably. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," John said and caught Frank by his earlobe. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Frank said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
From behind a pencil, Mary Sue Apricot watched with a phat light in her primordial eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "John/Frank". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the gorilla from extinction.
I Saw Narcissa Kissing Santa Claus (for boumsong)
Bellatrix woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one exquisite box that looked like an apricot.
Then Bellatrix noticed that Narcissa was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Bellatrix thought that she would surprise Narcissa. Maybe even sneak up behind her and cuddle her on her primordial earlobe. That always made Narcissa obtuse.
Bellatrix crept expeditiously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its alluring lights, and the presents, heaped up feebly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Narcissa. Kissing someone.
Bellatrix was so angry, she picked up a pencil from a table and threw it abominably under a rock.
They both looked around.
"Narcissa, you phat gorilla!" Bellatrix yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bellatrix looked and then rubbed her chest and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Narcissa said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a transcendent kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Bellatrix said mutely. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be statuesque."
That seemed reasonable. Bellatrix went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. He made Bellatrix's nose feel all homely.
"You see?" Narcissa said incoherently and Bellatrix saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
Winnaaaaaaarz.
petarrr, I got your card today! Squee! Er, what exactly are those stamps supposed to be? Two of them appear to be of partially clothed men. I am greatly amused. Yay.
Think Ima collapse and read Fruits Basket, and probably cry my silly little head off. 'Cuz that's how I roll. Woot.
I have no excuse to be exhausted, but here we are. A rundown of today: slept in 'til 11, skipping three classes, went out for lunch, came home to shower, watched three hour silent film for film class, went for supper. That is it. I think I might be getting a sinus cold, but still. Hehheh. I is laaaame.
I have to hand in the form for my internship placement tomorrow. NERVE WRACKING. There's a chance they'll stick me in Regina and I DON'T WANNA GO TO REGINA. Plus if I lives here I has free rent. Plz to not send me to Regina. There's a part on the form where you can whine about where you want to be placed and I keep looking it over and wondering if I can make it any more whiny. Plzplzplz no to Regina. It probably wouldn't be so bad, maybe I could live with Cherith (which would be TERRIFYING), butbutbut. Don't wanna. Whimper.
The brain, she is dead, so here be all the terrible drabbles that I sent to people in their Christmas cards. I is a winnar. And not at all lazy. No. Cough.
A Homely Day To Cuddle (for petarrr)
Patrice stepped mutely out into the alluring sunshine, and admired Wayne's chest. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a primordial sight."
Wayne climbed off the pencil and walked abominably across the grass to greet his lover. Patrice patted Wayne on the nose and then tried to cuddle him expeditiously, but without success.
"That's all right," Wayne said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not obtuse," Patrice. "Not as obtuse as the time we cuddled under a rock."
Wayne nodded feebly. "We were phat back in those days."
"Our earlobes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Patrice said. "Everything seems exquisite and transcendent when you're young."
"Of course," Wayne said. "But now we're splendiferous, we can still have fun. If we go about it incoherently."
"Incoherently?" Patrice said . "But how?"
"With this," Wayne said and held out a statuesque apricot. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to cuddle."
Patrice swallowed the apricot at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to cuddle incoherently. They cuddled like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
The Adventure Of The Gorilla (for dragged_up)
Gary and David were out for an exquisite Valentine's walk under a rock. As they went, David rested his hand on Gary's earlobe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so obtuse, Gary was filled with alluring dread.
"Do you suppose it's statuesque here?" he asked expeditiously.
"You splendiferous silly," David said, tickling Gary with his pencil. "It's completely transcendent."
Just then, a primordial gorilla leapt out from behind a hand sanitizer and cuddled David in the nose. "Aaargh!" David screamed.
Things looked homely. But Gary, although he was phat, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed an apricot and, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people, beat the gorilla feebly until it ran off. "That will teach you to cuddle innocent people."
Then he clasped David close. David was bleeding abominably. "My darling," Gary said, and pressed his lips to David's chest.
"I love you," David said mutely, and expired in Gary's arms.
Gary never loved again.
The Gorilla Prince (for denorios)
David was walking through a homely meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a transcendent little gorilla lying under a tree.
David skipped over to see the dear thing and was obtuse to find that he was hurt! An apricot had pierced his alluring little chest and he whimpered incoherently with the pain.
"My splendiferous little friend," David said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the apricot, as feebly as he could. The gorilla cried out and David's heart ached, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. "You'll be all right," David whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Gary and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Gary up in his arms, David carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, David nursed Gary , cleaning his chest and feeding him Hand sanitizer-brand gorilla chow.
On the eighth night, Gary climbed into bed with David . He burrowed under the covers and expeditiously cuddled David's nose. It made David giggle and he cuddled close to Gary, stroking his earlobe and singing mutely to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, David hurried home so he could curl up with Gary. It gave him a statuesque feeling whenever Gary cuddled his nose.
Then one night, Gary looked up at David and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a phat prince."
David screamed abominably, he was so surprised. How could a gorilla talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Gary said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," David said and kissed Gary on his earlobe. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a phat prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Gary ," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" David said.
"See?" Gary said and showed David the scar from the apricot on his chest. Then he kissed David and they tumbled under a rock and did a lot of very primordial things, some of them involving an exquisite pencil.
"I love you," Gary said when they were done. David clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Gary had stashed away.
And if Gary didn't know about David's visits to the gorilla sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
Abominably Tripping (for bottle_of_smoke)
Gary tripped along expeditiously. He was on his way to meet his lover, David, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a gorilla hopping along, carrying a pencil in its mouth.
Gary was almost under a rock when he came across a transcendent cake, lying alone on a homely plate. "That must be a treat from my alluring bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked statuesque, so he ate it.
It gave him the most phat tingling sensation in his earlobe. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see David.
When David came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Gary cried feebly.
"Your chest! And your nose!" David said. "They're primordial! Can't you feel it?"
Gary felt his chest and his nose. They were indeed quite primordial. "Oh, no!" Gary said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that transcendent cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," David said. "I got you an apricot. It must have been that exquisite man who lives nearby. He acts a little incoherently, ever since he cuddled a hand sanitizer."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Gary sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," David said mutely, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your chest is really splendiferous like that."
"Really?" Gary dried her tears. Gary kissed David and it was an entirely obtuse sensation, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
They spent the night having entirely obtuse sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
A Hand Sanitizer In Time (for mittelfeld)
On a phat and statuesque morning, Milan sat under a rock. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nose ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Harry to love someone with an exquisite earlobe?
Feebly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a transcendent homely pencil, all on a summer's day. I wish my Harry would cuddle me, in his own primordial way..."
"Do you?" Harry sat down beside Milan and put his hand on Milan's chest. "I think that could be arranged."
Milan gasped mutely. "But what about my exquisite earlobe?"
"I like it," Harry said expeditiously. "I think it's splendiferous."
They came together and their kiss was like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
"I love you," Milan said abominably.
"I love you too," Harry replied and cuddled him.
They bought a gorilla, moved in together, and lived incoherently ever after.
The Transcendent Stranger (for leetje)
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Ruud strode along the path, making for Statuesque Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Obtuse Apricot, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Earlobe.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his primordial pencil just in time to face the alluring man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck abominably, and Ruud barely raised his pencil to meet the attack. They fought long and expeditiously until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Ruud found himself forced to one knee, the man's pencil pressed to his phat nose. "I am Cristiano of Statuesque Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Obtuse Apricot. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you under a rock."
But Ruud had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his pencil with a twist, overpowered Cristiano and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Ruud said, looking down upon him.
Cristiano's chest shimmered like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. "I have underestimated you, Ruud. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Ruud's desire was enflamed. His nose throbbed and all his thoughts were to cuddle Cristiano like a gorilla. Ruud caressed Cristiano's homely chest and he responded. They came together incoherently, and their joining was as exquisite as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet hand sanitizer!" Ruud groaned and cuddled Cristiano as mutely as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Ruud said. "That's where I put the Obtuse Apricot for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed feebly on the grass, forgetful of all but their splendiferous love. "We will stay together forever," Cristiano said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Earlobe never got the Obtuse Apricot and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
I'm Dreaming Of A Transcendent Christmas (for cista)
It was Christmas Eve. Wayne sat incoherently under a rock, sipping primordial eggnog.
He looked at the splendiferous apricot hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Cristiano had hung it there, just before they looked at each other abominably and then fell into each other's arms and cuddled each other's chest.
If only I hadn't been so statuesque, Wayne thought, pouring a phat amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Cristiano might not have got so homely and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away an obtuse tear and held his nose in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an alluring voice lifted mutely up in song.
I'm dreaming of a transcendent Christmas
Just like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people
Wayne ran to the door. It was Cristiano, looking exquisite all over with snow.
"I missed you expeditiously," Cristiano said. "And I wanted to cuddle your chest again."
Wayne hugged Cristiano and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Cristiano said.
"I think so too," Wayne said and they cuddled each other's chest until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted gorilla earlobe and lived feebly until Wayne got drunk again.
An Alluring Occurrence (for yanks02)
John paced up and down, jiggling his nose. His very good friend, Mary Sue Apricot, had arranged to meet him here under a rock. "I have something transcendent to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Apricot was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, John expected to see her bounce up, her exquisite hair streaming behind her and her homely eyes aglow.
John heard footsteps, but they seemed rather obtuse for a delicate and statuesque girl like Mary Sue Apricot, whose tread was splendiferous. He turned around and found Frank staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Frank said feebly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
John had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so expeditiously. "Mary Sue Apricot asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Frank , his chest began to throb incoherently.
"Oh," Frank said, abominably. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," John said and caught Frank by his earlobe. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Frank said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people.
From behind a pencil, Mary Sue Apricot watched with a phat light in her primordial eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "John/Frank". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the gorilla from extinction.
I Saw Narcissa Kissing Santa Claus (for boumsong)
Bellatrix woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one exquisite box that looked like an apricot.
Then Bellatrix noticed that Narcissa was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Bellatrix thought that she would surprise Narcissa. Maybe even sneak up behind her and cuddle her on her primordial earlobe. That always made Narcissa obtuse.
Bellatrix crept expeditiously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its alluring lights, and the presents, heaped up feebly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Narcissa. Kissing someone.
Bellatrix was so angry, she picked up a pencil from a table and threw it abominably under a rock.
They both looked around.
"Narcissa, you phat gorilla!" Bellatrix yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bellatrix looked and then rubbed her chest and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Narcissa said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a transcendent kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Bellatrix said mutely. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be statuesque."
That seemed reasonable. Bellatrix went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a giant blanket that brings comfort to all the people. He made Bellatrix's nose feel all homely.
"You see?" Narcissa said incoherently and Bellatrix saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
Winnaaaaaaarz.
petarrr, I got your card today! Squee! Er, what exactly are those stamps supposed to be? Two of them appear to be of partially clothed men. I am greatly amused. Yay.
Think Ima collapse and read Fruits Basket, and probably cry my silly little head off. 'Cuz that's how I roll. Woot.