The worst feeling in the world
I lost him.
Just for a moment, but.
We'd just come out of gym class and we saw our neighbor. Her granddaughter was there for the next session. I stopped to talk to her while we put on our socks and shoes. He got up and walked around her, behind a row of chairs. One of several little heads. I talked for a few... seconds longer, and then I couldn't tell which head was his. I jokingly said, "I lost him. Gotta go." I stood up, and he was nowhere.
I said his name. Said it again. Called it out over and over. The instructors looked up at me with blank faces. People were coming and going with their children. He was nowhere. Things in the back of my mind, movies of the week, that awful phrase, "I just looked away for a second..."
I ran into the lobby. There is a stairwell leading down to the parking lot. Two public bathrooms. A man and his son waiting by the elevator. I kept calling his name. The man is still talking to his boy as if the bottom has not dropped out of the world. I lean over the railing to look down the stairs. I can't see the doors. I can't find him.
I scream. "Where is my child?!" The man looks at me. "I,..." he says.
And then... "He's here." Oh god.
He was behind the counter. The instructors thought he was another one of the boys, that's why they didn't say anything for... seconds. It was only a few seconds. No less than four mothers promptly said, "that just happened to me last week/last month/last... It's the worst feeling in the world."
Worst.
And I only had my eyes off of him for seconds.
Just for a moment, but.
We'd just come out of gym class and we saw our neighbor. Her granddaughter was there for the next session. I stopped to talk to her while we put on our socks and shoes. He got up and walked around her, behind a row of chairs. One of several little heads. I talked for a few... seconds longer, and then I couldn't tell which head was his. I jokingly said, "I lost him. Gotta go." I stood up, and he was nowhere.
I said his name. Said it again. Called it out over and over. The instructors looked up at me with blank faces. People were coming and going with their children. He was nowhere. Things in the back of my mind, movies of the week, that awful phrase, "I just looked away for a second..."
I ran into the lobby. There is a stairwell leading down to the parking lot. Two public bathrooms. A man and his son waiting by the elevator. I kept calling his name. The man is still talking to his boy as if the bottom has not dropped out of the world. I lean over the railing to look down the stairs. I can't see the doors. I can't find him.
I scream. "Where is my child?!" The man looks at me. "I,..." he says.
And then... "He's here." Oh god.
He was behind the counter. The instructors thought he was another one of the boys, that's why they didn't say anything for... seconds. It was only a few seconds. No less than four mothers promptly said, "that just happened to me last week/last month/last... It's the worst feeling in the world."
Worst.
And I only had my eyes off of him for seconds.