(no subject)
I think i wish i was dead.
Yes, I know it's so silly to be so pessimistic about life, but now, even my friends, the peole that mean the most to me, are leaving me. no, not with any physical distance, they are just distancing themselves with all their emotions. Andrew is mad at me, and the worst part is i didn't do anything, he just thinks I did, and he won't talk to me about it. He has formed his own opinions in his mind and he is sticking to them. So, I guess that shows his true colors, and maybe I should be happy to know this about him now, but I'm not. I want our friendship back. I wish he felt that he could come to me the way he used to be able to, but he can't, and i understand why, I'm just upset because I didn't actually do what he thinks I did, there is some sort of miscomunication somewhere, and it's hurting our friendship. i want to fall asleep peacefully, and never wake up. Dreaming forever and ever, and a little longer still.
How did i get to this point I wonder? I have two parents that, as psycho as they are at times, love me very much. I had a pretty decent life, i have anti-depressants, and I have a counsler. Yet, I wish I was dead. No, I wish i was living in my own dreams. My mind does more for me than any other stimulis. My mind, It's a scary place, but i find it the most intriguing thing I've ever come in contact with.
I want to go home, but i want to be free. I want the comfort of my old cage, but i want them to leave the door open so i can come and go as i please. i feel like the door will be locked if I step foot back in it. I can't be locked away, this much i know.
She was beautiful once, and maybe one day she will be again, but for now time and worry have laid a shadow on her brow. Her shoulders are heavy, and her back weary. Where have all the cowboys gone? What happened to their dark eyes, and dark hair, and dark expressions. Where are their stern faces, full of strength and grace. I want a cowboy to protect me. I want to live in the desert, and dance in the sand under a full moon. I want to go home, i want to find my place in the sand. I think it may be time to go...
Yes, I know it's so silly to be so pessimistic about life, but now, even my friends, the peole that mean the most to me, are leaving me. no, not with any physical distance, they are just distancing themselves with all their emotions. Andrew is mad at me, and the worst part is i didn't do anything, he just thinks I did, and he won't talk to me about it. He has formed his own opinions in his mind and he is sticking to them. So, I guess that shows his true colors, and maybe I should be happy to know this about him now, but I'm not. I want our friendship back. I wish he felt that he could come to me the way he used to be able to, but he can't, and i understand why, I'm just upset because I didn't actually do what he thinks I did, there is some sort of miscomunication somewhere, and it's hurting our friendship. i want to fall asleep peacefully, and never wake up. Dreaming forever and ever, and a little longer still.
How did i get to this point I wonder? I have two parents that, as psycho as they are at times, love me very much. I had a pretty decent life, i have anti-depressants, and I have a counsler. Yet, I wish I was dead. No, I wish i was living in my own dreams. My mind does more for me than any other stimulis. My mind, It's a scary place, but i find it the most intriguing thing I've ever come in contact with.
I want to go home, but i want to be free. I want the comfort of my old cage, but i want them to leave the door open so i can come and go as i please. i feel like the door will be locked if I step foot back in it. I can't be locked away, this much i know.
She was beautiful once, and maybe one day she will be again, but for now time and worry have laid a shadow on her brow. Her shoulders are heavy, and her back weary. Where have all the cowboys gone? What happened to their dark eyes, and dark hair, and dark expressions. Where are their stern faces, full of strength and grace. I want a cowboy to protect me. I want to live in the desert, and dance in the sand under a full moon. I want to go home, i want to find my place in the sand. I think it may be time to go...