(no subject)
A friend accused me of being cold (a cold hearted bitch was implied) just because I said I knew I'd eventually lose interest in a favorite character (who had died in a favorite intense storyline when I did not want them to die (and no, not a George RR Martin story)), and knew I'd be able to walk away some day.
I tried to explain that I'd already been through this pain with Severus Snape from Harry Potter, but no, they didn't want to talk to me anymore. Didn't want to grasp that I'm dealing with my pain and grief in a different way than they want to deal with theirs. I'm fine with them dealing with their pain in some other way. Grief is a different story for each person.
But when I say I take comfort from the fact I know I will lose (intense focus) interest in this character, it is because I am fucking 20+ years older than her, and I KNOW from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that the pain and hurt of grief DOES ease with time. It took me years to get over Snape's "betrayal" and death. It's going to take me time to get over this character, too...and by THAT I fucking mean "get over the anguish and grief and denial of this favorite character's death, and I look forward to the day when time has blunted and dulled and erased most of my grief" but GOD FUCKING FORBID I refrain from typing out all that shit in a tiny little chat window!
Yes, she really liked that character too, but HER favorite fucking character is slated to live for DECADES more in the storyline, so GOD FORBID I should look forward to the day when I don't feel like my fucking heart's been ripped out, stomped on, spat on, shat on, and set on fucking fire. All. Over. Again. GOD FORBID I should be doing everything I can to rewrite the fucking goddamn story so that it doesn't HURT so much.
Yes, I'm over here in fanfic denial space, insisting that MY favorite character got SAVED at such-and-such-point for such-and-such reasons with such-and-such-logically-it-could-have-happened-that-way means of escaping his gruesome fate.
But I know it isn't canon. I know it isn't reality. I FUCKING KNOW THAT, BUT GOD FUCKING FORBID I SHOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO REACH THE DAY WHEN THE PAIN EASES AND ENDS.
I'm only a fucking masochist when it comes to consensual BDSM, and this ain't that shit.
~Lotm
I tried to explain that I'd already been through this pain with Severus Snape from Harry Potter, but no, they didn't want to talk to me anymore. Didn't want to grasp that I'm dealing with my pain and grief in a different way than they want to deal with theirs. I'm fine with them dealing with their pain in some other way. Grief is a different story for each person.
But when I say I take comfort from the fact I know I will lose (intense focus) interest in this character, it is because I am fucking 20+ years older than her, and I KNOW from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that the pain and hurt of grief DOES ease with time. It took me years to get over Snape's "betrayal" and death. It's going to take me time to get over this character, too...and by THAT I fucking mean "get over the anguish and grief and denial of this favorite character's death, and I look forward to the day when time has blunted and dulled and erased most of my grief" but GOD FUCKING FORBID I refrain from typing out all that shit in a tiny little chat window!
Yes, she really liked that character too, but HER favorite fucking character is slated to live for DECADES more in the storyline, so GOD FORBID I should look forward to the day when I don't feel like my fucking heart's been ripped out, stomped on, spat on, shat on, and set on fucking fire. All. Over. Again. GOD FORBID I should be doing everything I can to rewrite the fucking goddamn story so that it doesn't HURT so much.
Yes, I'm over here in fanfic denial space, insisting that MY favorite character got SAVED at such-and-such-point for such-and-such reasons with such-and-such-logically-it-could-have-happened-that-way means of escaping his gruesome fate.
But I know it isn't canon. I know it isn't reality. I FUCKING KNOW THAT, BUT GOD FUCKING FORBID I SHOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO REACH THE DAY WHEN THE PAIN EASES AND ENDS.
I'm only a fucking masochist when it comes to consensual BDSM, and this ain't that shit.
~Lotm