Held Hostage!
Don’t point your finger like I’m the fake, You let me in this room that was your first mistake. You’ve got nothing. Its okay I was there once so don’t point the finger like I’m the fake you let us in and that was your last mistake.
I started reading a book awhile ago. It was one of those impulse buys in Borders or Barnes and Nobles. I started reading it and I have never felt so revealed nor have I felt so relieved in my life. "..this man is a terrifying, unpredictable brute who can rule me by force, and that I have no choice but to obey.." Men have mainly been a negative aspect in my life. Never once a positive portion in my existence. They have caused heartache, turmoil, anger, and misery. "You see the pattern here? I have written about my dad so often in my life that the process is almost as normal as breathing for me. Some readers have said, 'But he loved you. He bought you cars. He gave you [everything].' It's true. My father provided for us. But he was not a pleasantly grumpy, lovable curmudgeon. Presumably, those readers who find my father sympathetic don't understand what it's like to live an entire life built on a foundation of constant anxiety, brought on by the close proximity of a human time bomb. you never know when he might explode next." This book as answered a bundle of questions on why I act the way I do. It has made me step outside of the box and understand myself on a completely different level.
I have found a man who understands me, who respects me and who loves me for even my flaws. I have become a better person because he was there to help me. I have become a stronger person because he wasnt there to let me down. I have finally understood what love truly is and that men are not all beasts. Not all men are out to decieve, cheat, munipulate, control, beat and damage ones soul.
I have wondered for so long what others thought of me. I can never make 'real' friends. Because of a geographical location? Because of my certain friendships? Petty, immature, and completely irrelevant issues that cloud others judgements of me. My past, from childhood until well over a year ago, has destroyed me. Finding the answers to so many unanswered questions has made me realize who I am. I finally know who I am and what I want in life. I am ready.. I am more ready than I have ever been. <3 <3 <3