Hopeing to heal
Well i fell a little better today , I guess . But things are still not great with you . I hope they get better . I am putting an even greater effort into making you fall back in love with me . Because I know it has been lost . And I know you do "love" me but it is more of a caring thing . Not truly "love" . I want things to be like they used to be . I dont know if that will ever happen , but I am willing to work at it . Maybe last night was a good start . If I am as adventurous as I used to be , will you love me again ? If I give myself to you every night , will you love me again ? I am not quite sure how to be more affectionate with you since even before your accident you whined every time I barely touched you and you seem to be annoyed when i try to get close or talk to you . I am lost . Tell me what to do and how to do it , and I will . I will do anything you want . I just want to be loved again . I need to be and feel wanted again . How do I get there ? Help me . I am trying . I will be a slave to your will as long as it gets me back in your life . Because I feel shut out . Cant you see how I am trying to do what you want ? What you ask of me ? Im trying to talk to you . But you look at me like I am an idiot . Or you dont respond . And that makes me feel so cold . And like an even bigger failure for putting in the effort and having it go unacknowledged . See me . Notice me .