Well, half of this day is over....
Why is it I try to always see the cup half full. Especially today, when really there's no cup at all. This will hopeflly be a day I forget tomorrow. Nothing much of anything happened, worth talking about. I guess I was right not to stress and "think too much" as I often do sometimes. All I am doing is floating through days. It will be over soon, at least its not something that will drag out forever.
I really try to think more that, somethings are meant to be and they will be. But, I fight that word...destiny. Are the things that happen out of our control? I don't believe that, I think we have a choice in matters that involve our lives. MY Life...no one owns that. I may share it will one or two people in this life, I may even mess it up but no one will ever own me. Just because I have a rock solid commitment doesn't mean that someone can take advantage of it. There are a thousand little things that matter too. I think of that commitment like a rock and everytime someone knocks me down, they chip that rock away. Sometimes it takes a few seconds to chip it until it falls apart into pieces too small to fix. Sometimes it is a process of slow chips that leave a hollow place and you do not realize the emptyness until it is too late.That is when the life I have shared with someone is no longer right.
I am off to my new place tonight. I am not sure when I will be around a computer and it has been so good to have this journal. Maybe I could go to the library and use their computers, it is one block over. Tonight is the night! Painting is good for me at least I do not look at it like working. Hopefully it will be ready to move into on Monday. I cannot wait! I am starting to get a little impatient, I want to move in my things tonight. I don't know what to do about tonights sleeping arraingements, the last time I painted for over 24 hrs straight, and I do mean straight. I was in some trance. I will have to get some pictures of the process from ewww to aahhhh. I am getting to the point where I love sleep. I like it when I am on a schedule more, but I hate not being somewhat spontanious. But I think I need a very strict schedule in order to get back to a normal sleep pattern. Although, tonight I will more than likely pass out in a chair on the ceiling!
Amy is a Blink 182 freak! I love it when I am here because she has a bunch of good mp3s. Kelly Clarkson has a pretty voice, the girl who won the first American Idol. I don't know about that show...but I am not going to blah out on that. I should make some phone calls today before it gets too late.