Cannibals, Cyborgs and Loofahs, Oh My!
I got me wrists tatted up on Saturday. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. But they are lovelier than ever and I can’t wait to share them with everyone.
The healing process is my least favorite part, and I’m in the trenches of that right now. Wanna hear a few more steps from my free association stairwell?
As I gingerly shower, it occurs to me that you never know how much you use a body part until you get it tattooed (watch the loofah… hmm, that would be a good way to torture someone. Wait until your prey leaves the tattoo shop, follow them home, climb in a window and tie them up. Then drag them to the shower and apply a loofah sponge to the fresh, tender, blood-inky tattoo. Not only would the pain be excruciating, but their new tattoo would be all jacked up. Please let me know if you happen to hear that Paris Hilton’s getting ink).
That thought brings me to the other time a person would really be aware of the importance of a body part, especially appendages: if it got chopped off. Chopped off body parts can come from so many histories… maybe you were in Vietnam, got shot, got gangrene, got amputated. Perhaps you lived in Ed Gein’s neighborhood (never mind, he used all of the parts). Or maybe a cyborg needed your fingerprints in order to get into the government laboratory where you’re employed and you were fat so he took only what was necessary.
But! Wouldn’t you be pissed if someone chopped off your tattoo? The leg that contains $2000 in ink and dozens of hours of pain? Do cannibals just discard inky meat? Or is it considered a delicacy? Does each ink have a special taste? Do they make wall hangings from old back pieces? Do cannibals use a lot of Febreze?
Someone should be asking these questions, dammit.
The healing process is my least favorite part, and I’m in the trenches of that right now. Wanna hear a few more steps from my free association stairwell?
As I gingerly shower, it occurs to me that you never know how much you use a body part until you get it tattooed (watch the loofah… hmm, that would be a good way to torture someone. Wait until your prey leaves the tattoo shop, follow them home, climb in a window and tie them up. Then drag them to the shower and apply a loofah sponge to the fresh, tender, blood-inky tattoo. Not only would the pain be excruciating, but their new tattoo would be all jacked up. Please let me know if you happen to hear that Paris Hilton’s getting ink).
That thought brings me to the other time a person would really be aware of the importance of a body part, especially appendages: if it got chopped off. Chopped off body parts can come from so many histories… maybe you were in Vietnam, got shot, got gangrene, got amputated. Perhaps you lived in Ed Gein’s neighborhood (never mind, he used all of the parts). Or maybe a cyborg needed your fingerprints in order to get into the government laboratory where you’re employed and you were fat so he took only what was necessary.
But! Wouldn’t you be pissed if someone chopped off your tattoo? The leg that contains $2000 in ink and dozens of hours of pain? Do cannibals just discard inky meat? Or is it considered a delicacy? Does each ink have a special taste? Do they make wall hangings from old back pieces? Do cannibals use a lot of Febreze?
Someone should be asking these questions, dammit.