stupid...stupid...stupid!!!
probably not going to elaborate on the other night. just yet anyhow. at this point i don't know which way is up and which way is down. my head is fucking spinning because of everything that's happened...and now it's even worse. i think i just found out my worst fear on the other interest. i don't have it as solid fact just yet, but the things i've put together lead me to a very very bad result. i feel like i'm gonna throw up. i truly do. it's hard to stay calm about something like this. what's even worse is not knowing how to go about finding out the truth. not to mention...do i really want to know? or do i stay in denial?
i'm gonna go throw up now and go to bed.
i'm gonna go throw up now and go to bed.