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Well
I'm tired so we'll see how far this goes.
No brain tumor. Did I ever finish the brain tumor post? Well they think no brain tumor. Going back on Monday. Last tests, last chance. They'll most likely be looking for thyroid stuff--the hidden kind. Auto-immune like a house episode. At least i know it's not Lupus. I proud of my self for making it this far ( Read more... ) -
Stuck In Line
Stuck in a line going no where. These fucking holiday seasons, where consumerism is both dull and dangerous, and eating up my time. I see someone who could be him from a full room away, and I think, "is it?"
Then a slow creeping feeling,
"Would I even know if it was?"
Merry Christmas.
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Just By Being Different
I have things to say but, as often so, no energy to write them.
From Summer Storm by Dana Gioia
"And memory insists on pining
For places it never went,
As if life would be happier
Just by being different."
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Intermission (And Spelling Errors I Have No Intention of Fixing)
I'm more motivated and dedicated to writing than I have been in a long time. Which sounds incredibly pathetic considering how sporadic my posts have been.
I'm printing out my former project and attempting to make it my current project. I don't know if I see it as a novel or as a comic or exactly what hybrid of medium, but I do see it as something ( Read more... ) -
You Treat Me Like a Stranger
I'm frustrated. I'm tired of this game. This circle we're stuck in. I'm tired of our two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl existance. I never meant to fall in love with you, you hair, your spirit, your car, your jokes, you fucking smile. It wasn't in my life plan. And when it happened I let it happen. Because I was drunk on you. I'm still drunk on ( Read more... ) -
And Now I Am Under Your Spell
I'm playing the new Incubus album today. I get lost in the music. I easily trandsend where I'm sitting to a place brighter than this room. A place warmer than this expensive faux coolness.
And then I remember that soon, so, so soon I won't have to let the music take me there. Because I'll already be there. I'll already be on the beach breathing ( Read more... ) -
The Nightfall, My Skin Crawl Kind of Evening
I promised to write more. So I'm trying to write even when I feel like I have nothing to say.
I'm hanging up old dresses today. My skin is hot and sticky. I know it's hot and sticky because its already hot out today and it seeps in through the cracks of this man made structure. I'm also hot and sticky because I haven't eaten. But I'm just not hungry ( Read more... ) -
I Know I Said No More Love Songs (Sorry I Lied)
I'm hoping to get micros started in my hair this week. I try to imagine what it would look like, but I don't really know. I'm excited about trying, though. It isn't lost on me, the time this would save me on our trip. I wouldn't have to style or straighten my hair due to humidity or water. I could go straight from the pool to dinner without having ( Read more... ) -
Float Away
Oh yeah.
In about two weeks I'm leaving for New Orleans and Pensacola. I'm thinking jazz in the air, sand between toes, and the look on Josh's face when he sees the ocean for the first time will give me some perspective. Perspective I totally could use before seriously diving back into school in the fall. Not that I ever quit. Either way, we've come ( Read more... )