Man the Procrastination Station
Ah, that time of year again where essays must be written and suddenly I get the burning urge not to write any essays.
Yesterday in order to make myself feel productive without actually doing work, I decided to tidy my room somewhat, which turned in to also dusting the room, hoovering and cleaning my mirror. (to be fair I also typed up some essay plans)
Today to get that same productive feeling with the same lack of work, I decided to go in to town to buy some red ribbon for christmas present wrapping, buy some waterproof mascara (I'm going to see Changelling with Matt and figured... just in case, I am a crier when it comes to movies) and get some stuff for Debra's Christmas present (that I will probably put together later today). I also bought my train ticket for Friday week - it makes the whole 'nearly time to go home' thing so much more real. May have to write a list of stuff I need to remember to take with me! And finally, all of that done I wrapped up Bimba and Row's presents and popped them under our adorable little tree.
I figure if I do more in the way of essay plan typage today, that will count as work and tomorrow I will go to the library and read up on Postcolonialism. I will use the fact that I'm going out tomorrow night as a kind of spur - if I'm not happy with the amount of work done in the day I will have a bad night, if I'm content that I've done a reasonable amount I will have a good night.
In other news I'm having what can only be described as dream issues. I usually tend to have strange dreams but recently I think my subconscious mind is rebelling, unable to cope with the nice things that keep happening, and the fact that I think I may be the happiest I can ever remember being.
Firstly I had a dream where I was on some sort of bus journey and I realized all of a sudden that my precious signiature black hat was missing. And so I went on a quest to find said hat and kept approaching people saying 'I've lost my hat and my dignity. Have you seen them?' Yup, that's right. I have lost my hat and my dignity 0_o
Other dreams have been more Matt related. I had one a few weeks back that turns out must have been an omen for dreams to come. In said dream I was trying to call him to tell him something important, but the phone kept going all weird - I was of course acting all dizzy and daft, as usual, and he got very exasperated with me. Then a few days ago I had a dream in which I met up with him and everything was going very well. But when we said goodbye, a kind of voiceover thing boomed out 'And she never saw him again.', much to my confusion and annoyance. And last night's dream is far too insanely convoluted to relate, but in it he seemed to have another girl (I couldn't work out whether it was one sided on her part, or if he was with her too) and I found a message on MSN intended for that girl saying that they'd heard Matt had 'broken up with' yet another girl, implying very recently too... it was very confusing and upsetting, and in said dream the dream-Matt was being very ellusive and mysterious. It took me a minute or so when I woke up to remember that none of it was real.
I think my mind just rejects the possibility that I might have actually managed to find a nice guy who likes me, and whom I like. Why must I be so incredibly paranoid? Even Row has said that she thinks he's a good guy, and she doesn't mince words of fake stuff like that - she has always told me the truth about her opinions on guys I like, even if that opinion is 'he's clearly a dick, dump him'. So he is, as far as can be told, a good guy. He does seem to like me, objectively speaking - if I heard the whole story related back to me and it was another girl instead of me I wouldn't hesitate to say 'he likes you'. Come on, brain, get with the programme :s
I feel kind of like Rimmer in the Red Dwarf ep. Better Than Life - his brain makes terrible things happen because it can't accept the 'all your fantasies come true' premise of the game. I just seriously hope that the paranoid dreams are the worst of it and that my silly issues don't come out to play and ruin things in real life. I have to believe that it's possible for me to get what I want and not screw it up by being crazy!
Yesterday in order to make myself feel productive without actually doing work, I decided to tidy my room somewhat, which turned in to also dusting the room, hoovering and cleaning my mirror. (to be fair I also typed up some essay plans)
Today to get that same productive feeling with the same lack of work, I decided to go in to town to buy some red ribbon for christmas present wrapping, buy some waterproof mascara (I'm going to see Changelling with Matt and figured... just in case, I am a crier when it comes to movies) and get some stuff for Debra's Christmas present (that I will probably put together later today). I also bought my train ticket for Friday week - it makes the whole 'nearly time to go home' thing so much more real. May have to write a list of stuff I need to remember to take with me! And finally, all of that done I wrapped up Bimba and Row's presents and popped them under our adorable little tree.
I figure if I do more in the way of essay plan typage today, that will count as work and tomorrow I will go to the library and read up on Postcolonialism. I will use the fact that I'm going out tomorrow night as a kind of spur - if I'm not happy with the amount of work done in the day I will have a bad night, if I'm content that I've done a reasonable amount I will have a good night.
In other news I'm having what can only be described as dream issues. I usually tend to have strange dreams but recently I think my subconscious mind is rebelling, unable to cope with the nice things that keep happening, and the fact that I think I may be the happiest I can ever remember being.
Firstly I had a dream where I was on some sort of bus journey and I realized all of a sudden that my precious signiature black hat was missing. And so I went on a quest to find said hat and kept approaching people saying 'I've lost my hat and my dignity. Have you seen them?' Yup, that's right. I have lost my hat and my dignity 0_o
Other dreams have been more Matt related. I had one a few weeks back that turns out must have been an omen for dreams to come. In said dream I was trying to call him to tell him something important, but the phone kept going all weird - I was of course acting all dizzy and daft, as usual, and he got very exasperated with me. Then a few days ago I had a dream in which I met up with him and everything was going very well. But when we said goodbye, a kind of voiceover thing boomed out 'And she never saw him again.', much to my confusion and annoyance. And last night's dream is far too insanely convoluted to relate, but in it he seemed to have another girl (I couldn't work out whether it was one sided on her part, or if he was with her too) and I found a message on MSN intended for that girl saying that they'd heard Matt had 'broken up with' yet another girl, implying very recently too... it was very confusing and upsetting, and in said dream the dream-Matt was being very ellusive and mysterious. It took me a minute or so when I woke up to remember that none of it was real.
I think my mind just rejects the possibility that I might have actually managed to find a nice guy who likes me, and whom I like. Why must I be so incredibly paranoid? Even Row has said that she thinks he's a good guy, and she doesn't mince words of fake stuff like that - she has always told me the truth about her opinions on guys I like, even if that opinion is 'he's clearly a dick, dump him'. So he is, as far as can be told, a good guy. He does seem to like me, objectively speaking - if I heard the whole story related back to me and it was another girl instead of me I wouldn't hesitate to say 'he likes you'. Come on, brain, get with the programme :s
I feel kind of like Rimmer in the Red Dwarf ep. Better Than Life - his brain makes terrible things happen because it can't accept the 'all your fantasies come true' premise of the game. I just seriously hope that the paranoid dreams are the worst of it and that my silly issues don't come out to play and ruin things in real life. I have to believe that it's possible for me to get what I want and not screw it up by being crazy!