The Broken Edge, Chapter 66, "We Are Nothing".
In which Ben becomes Kylo.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
On Jakku, Rey awoke from her dream -- from her nightmare. She could still remember how she had had it, the strange masked man with the hood, but she was safe here -- for a relative value of safe. But she wasn’t in the nightmare with the strange man anymore, and that was something.
Rey looked around the inside of the AT-AT she was in, the strange broken down structure that she had come to call home over the course of all these years. She had been on Jakku ever since she was only five years old, and she mostly had fragments of her past. Plutt said that whoever her family members were, they weren't going to come and pick her up, but they were out there, she knew they were, and that man in the helmet with the lightsaber like a cross...
He seemed so familiar. Like she knew him, once upon a time...
Then again, she had a lot of inexplicable memories, a lot of things she didn’t understand. Maybe this was one of them.
Just get back to bed, Rey. It’s just a bad dream, that’s all. Yeah, just a really kriffed up dream...
Rey did, and when she did, she imagined the island. She didn’t know what it all meant, of course, but it was comforting. On Jakku, waiting for her family to come back (they were still out there, she just knew it), it was the best comfort she had. It would have seemed foolish, being thirteen and still dreaming about islands, and yet it worked.
By the stars, it worked.
***
He could have sworn that he saw the girl. And she was so familiar, somehow. She had Alora Danes-Skywalker’s green eyes and brown hair, had a hairstyle that Jaina would have worn...
But what would Jaina be doing in an AT-AT, alone? It made no sense. His aunt and uncle couldn’t have been so cruel. Aaron and Zara couldn’t have been so cruel --
Ben rubbed his temples. Whatever it was, whatever was there on Jakku, it was just a hallucination.
Even as he was jarred out of his thoughts, one of the Milaran handmaidens to Snoke entered. Some of them seemed to vary in colors, going from gray to pink and many other shades. This one was pink. Then, “The Supreme Leader wishes to speak with you.”
Ben had to admit that he was nervous even as he entered. Considering how he had nearly betrayed the Supreme Leader -- something he realized, in his newly awakened state, was unacceptable -- he would have to own up to what he did.
The throne room was guarded by large spotted cats -- Milaran junglecats? They must have been, Ben thought. They growled at him even as he passed, suggesting only the Supreme Leader stood between them and Ben being a tasty dinner.
He continued into the throne room, which was already structured with such high angles, such great heights, that Ben couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by it all. At the far end of the room was Snoke himself, changed out of his Jedi disguise and into black robes with a high collar. He looked, Ben thought, almost like a king in his own right -- glorious, as if his full splendor managed to shine through in that moment.
Ben knelt, bowed his head. “Supreme Leader.”
There was silence before Snoke’s fury began to build.
Snoke’s fury was a slow thing, such a quiet thing, building in the Force like the prelude to a storm, and Ben was already afraid. He spoke, trying to placate, trying to keep the full weight of Snoke’s fury from crashing into him. “Supreme Leader...”
“You. Don’t think I never felt what happened to you down on Yavin IV. How you nearly betrayed me.”
“I -- ’’
Snoke’s voice built up to a roar. “How dare you try and leave me?”
“Supreme Leader, I never -- ’’
“Your feelings betray you,” said the Supreme Leader. “Even down on Yavin IV, you wanted to leave. You wanted to betray me. You would have joined forces with Skywalker to try and kill me.”
“No -- no, I wouldn’t have -- ’’
The Supreme Leader reached out in that moment and constricted his hand. Ben’s hands went to his throat, trying to pry those invisible hands off it. He looked up at the Supreme Leader, quietly pleading with him. Forgive me, Supreme Leader, forgive me --
And in his mind, the Leader’s fury raged. You would have left me. You would have left me, as Yoda did. You would have betrayed me.
“I wouldn't have -- ’’
The Supreme Leader released his grip, and Ben stumbled back in that moment.
“Then you should have killed them,” said the Leader calmly, and his calm was too at odds with what he had just done, the aftermath of a storm as compared to the storm itself. “You should have killed them both, instead of letting them sway you.”
“I...didn’t expect them to want to help me...”
“Did they?”
“I felt -- ’’
Snoke huffed. “Perhaps they were sincere. But they were still mired in their beliefs. They still believed that we were evil. Evil, as opposed to them, who have done more harm than we could ever truly do.”
“They...have.”
Snoke’s breathing was heavy, but he seemed mollified. “I suppose I should not have blamed you so. You are not the first one to be manipulated by Luke Skywalker. Hopefully you will be the last. But you are not to stray from my vision. You are not to sabotage it, you are not to betray it. It is my vision, mine, Ben Solo, do you understand?”
Ben could not help but flinch just looking up at Snoke, at blue eyes that momentarily seemed to flash yellow, almost like twin suns.
“Yes, Supreme Leader. Your vision.” Ben bit his lip. “I am your humble servant. I won’t betray you like Yoda did.”
Snoke’s expression softened. “So you understand,” he said. “Your training is rough, but in time, with knowledge, it will yet be perfected.” He looked thoughtful. “There will still be much to do. There will be blood, of course, but there will also be stability. Peace where there was war, stability where there was chaos. And in the quest for stability...plenty of blood had to be shed, of course. I will do that, but I need you by my side.”
And Ben understood full well in that moment. Blood and sacrifice -- it had been something Uncle Luke had never understood and never would understand. Blood was a necessity to be shed in order to keep the galaxy safe -- restoring order that the galaxy had lost to the Rebellion.
Finishing what Vader started. Finishing, fulfilling Snoke’s dream.
“Train me then,” Ben said. “To follow in the footsteps of my grandfather, to become as great as he ever was, to become as powerful as he ever was. Train me, Supreme Leader.”
Snoke nodded. “I shall. The path ahead will be a hard one, Ben. But once you are finished, you will become a powerful Force user in your own right. Everything your old Order, your old, stagnated, self-righteous Order, denied you. Kneel.”
Ben did so.
“Do you swear,” Snoke said, and his voice became softer, deeper, “Your life to the First Order, and the Empire it shall create?”
“I swear.” Forever. He could only hope that Snoke heard it, but judging from the light that came into Snoke’s eyes, he no doubt already did.
“Do you swear your loyalty to me until death rips you from my service?”
“I do, and beyond that, Supreme Leader.”
Snoke smiled. In the darkness, to an outsider’s perspective, he would have appeared almost sinister, frightening. But Ben Solo, or the man who had been Ben Solo, was not afraid.
“Do you promise me your defense, your loyalty, your devotion?”
“It is yours.”
A hand stroked the side of his neck. “Then to you, I entrust the defense of my Order, and the Knights who have followed you thus far. You will serve as my right hand. You will be my eyes, my ears, my right arm.”
Silence reigned. Then Snoke spoke again. It was a question, testing his loyalty once more, one last time.
“Do you grieve, my Knight?”
“No.” It was a lie, of course, but grief was not one of those emotions that Ben could ever afford.
“Do not grieve, Ben.” A hand caressed his cheek. “My apprentice. My right hand. Never doubt what you have done.”
“Master...”
“The moment you were born, Ben,” and here, the Supreme Leader’s voice became soft, “You were perfect. You’re still in training, but of all of those I have trained, you have gone beyond my expectations. I only want you to continue that.”
“Yes. I will...”
“Will you stand with me, my Knight?”
“I shall, my Leader. I am not afraid.”
“As well you should not be. Is there a name you wish to choose for yourself?”
There were so many Sith names that Ben doubted he could ever live up to. Vader, Revan, Sion...Vader most of all. He was not Sith, Snoke said as much, but he still had large shoes to fill. That much was too obvious. When one was part of a first new Order, it just made things worse.
And then he remembered. Something that Snoke had once called him, back in his Yana persona. Kylo. Victor. He could only hope he would be a victor, but it seemed appropriate to adopt. This, in the end, was who he really was.
“Kylo,” said Ben. “Kylo Ren.”
Snoke smiled. “A noble name. It suits you. And those who follow you shall be known as the Knights of Ren. Wherever you go, you will be known as the defenders of our Order, and those who shall succeed where the Empire failed. Your deeds will echo in the annals of this galaxy and beyond.”
“I am honored, Supreme Leader.”
“And I am honored to have you. My apprentice. My Knight.” There was the sort of reverence in there as if Ben -- Kylo Ren -- was something indescribably precious to him. And that was what mattered the most. Not the matter of the faces on the battlefield, or every event that came before, but the fact that he served the First Order, that he was better than the pathetic creature that he had been before.
I am Kylo Ren.
And you...
In his mind, any restrictions that Luke had forced him to put on himself, like chains and ropes binding him, tried to rise up, to pull him back, to make him a “good” Jedi again, but Kylo Ren crushed them beneath his bootheel.
You are nothing.
***
In the throne room, Snoke could say that ultimately convincing Ben Solo -- now Kylo Ren -- had been a success.
Skywalker had tried to intervene, of course. Use his silver-tongued manipulations to break Ren’s spirit again, as he had done to his father before him. But Ren was not so easily fooled, so easily broken. Vader had been brilliant, but he had underestimated his own weaknesses that had left him pliable to manipulation at his son’s hands. Ren’s will, on the other hand, was iron, and could not be so easily broken by sentiment.
Yes, Skywalker. You tried, you struggled, you battled for his soul, but he is not yours. He is not the Light’s. He is part of something so much more, something greater.
In the darkness of his throne room, Snoke smiled, a sort that for the Supreme Leader of the First Order, was genuine.
Ren was his Knight. And even after he passed into the nothingness that Dark Siders associated with death, he would continue to be.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
On Jakku, Rey awoke from her dream -- from her nightmare. She could still remember how she had had it, the strange masked man with the hood, but she was safe here -- for a relative value of safe. But she wasn’t in the nightmare with the strange man anymore, and that was something.
Rey looked around the inside of the AT-AT she was in, the strange broken down structure that she had come to call home over the course of all these years. She had been on Jakku ever since she was only five years old, and she mostly had fragments of her past. Plutt said that whoever her family members were, they weren't going to come and pick her up, but they were out there, she knew they were, and that man in the helmet with the lightsaber like a cross...
He seemed so familiar. Like she knew him, once upon a time...
Then again, she had a lot of inexplicable memories, a lot of things she didn’t understand. Maybe this was one of them.
Just get back to bed, Rey. It’s just a bad dream, that’s all. Yeah, just a really kriffed up dream...
Rey did, and when she did, she imagined the island. She didn’t know what it all meant, of course, but it was comforting. On Jakku, waiting for her family to come back (they were still out there, she just knew it), it was the best comfort she had. It would have seemed foolish, being thirteen and still dreaming about islands, and yet it worked.
By the stars, it worked.
***
He could have sworn that he saw the girl. And she was so familiar, somehow. She had Alora Danes-Skywalker’s green eyes and brown hair, had a hairstyle that Jaina would have worn...
But what would Jaina be doing in an AT-AT, alone? It made no sense. His aunt and uncle couldn’t have been so cruel. Aaron and Zara couldn’t have been so cruel --
Ben rubbed his temples. Whatever it was, whatever was there on Jakku, it was just a hallucination.
Even as he was jarred out of his thoughts, one of the Milaran handmaidens to Snoke entered. Some of them seemed to vary in colors, going from gray to pink and many other shades. This one was pink. Then, “The Supreme Leader wishes to speak with you.”
Ben had to admit that he was nervous even as he entered. Considering how he had nearly betrayed the Supreme Leader -- something he realized, in his newly awakened state, was unacceptable -- he would have to own up to what he did.
The throne room was guarded by large spotted cats -- Milaran junglecats? They must have been, Ben thought. They growled at him even as he passed, suggesting only the Supreme Leader stood between them and Ben being a tasty dinner.
He continued into the throne room, which was already structured with such high angles, such great heights, that Ben couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by it all. At the far end of the room was Snoke himself, changed out of his Jedi disguise and into black robes with a high collar. He looked, Ben thought, almost like a king in his own right -- glorious, as if his full splendor managed to shine through in that moment.
Ben knelt, bowed his head. “Supreme Leader.”
There was silence before Snoke’s fury began to build.
Snoke’s fury was a slow thing, such a quiet thing, building in the Force like the prelude to a storm, and Ben was already afraid. He spoke, trying to placate, trying to keep the full weight of Snoke’s fury from crashing into him. “Supreme Leader...”
“You. Don’t think I never felt what happened to you down on Yavin IV. How you nearly betrayed me.”
“I -- ’’
Snoke’s voice built up to a roar. “How dare you try and leave me?”
“Supreme Leader, I never -- ’’
“Your feelings betray you,” said the Supreme Leader. “Even down on Yavin IV, you wanted to leave. You wanted to betray me. You would have joined forces with Skywalker to try and kill me.”
“No -- no, I wouldn’t have -- ’’
The Supreme Leader reached out in that moment and constricted his hand. Ben’s hands went to his throat, trying to pry those invisible hands off it. He looked up at the Supreme Leader, quietly pleading with him. Forgive me, Supreme Leader, forgive me --
And in his mind, the Leader’s fury raged. You would have left me. You would have left me, as Yoda did. You would have betrayed me.
“I wouldn't have -- ’’
The Supreme Leader released his grip, and Ben stumbled back in that moment.
“Then you should have killed them,” said the Leader calmly, and his calm was too at odds with what he had just done, the aftermath of a storm as compared to the storm itself. “You should have killed them both, instead of letting them sway you.”
“I...didn’t expect them to want to help me...”
“Did they?”
“I felt -- ’’
Snoke huffed. “Perhaps they were sincere. But they were still mired in their beliefs. They still believed that we were evil. Evil, as opposed to them, who have done more harm than we could ever truly do.”
“They...have.”
Snoke’s breathing was heavy, but he seemed mollified. “I suppose I should not have blamed you so. You are not the first one to be manipulated by Luke Skywalker. Hopefully you will be the last. But you are not to stray from my vision. You are not to sabotage it, you are not to betray it. It is my vision, mine, Ben Solo, do you understand?”
Ben could not help but flinch just looking up at Snoke, at blue eyes that momentarily seemed to flash yellow, almost like twin suns.
“Yes, Supreme Leader. Your vision.” Ben bit his lip. “I am your humble servant. I won’t betray you like Yoda did.”
Snoke’s expression softened. “So you understand,” he said. “Your training is rough, but in time, with knowledge, it will yet be perfected.” He looked thoughtful. “There will still be much to do. There will be blood, of course, but there will also be stability. Peace where there was war, stability where there was chaos. And in the quest for stability...plenty of blood had to be shed, of course. I will do that, but I need you by my side.”
And Ben understood full well in that moment. Blood and sacrifice -- it had been something Uncle Luke had never understood and never would understand. Blood was a necessity to be shed in order to keep the galaxy safe -- restoring order that the galaxy had lost to the Rebellion.
Finishing what Vader started. Finishing, fulfilling Snoke’s dream.
“Train me then,” Ben said. “To follow in the footsteps of my grandfather, to become as great as he ever was, to become as powerful as he ever was. Train me, Supreme Leader.”
Snoke nodded. “I shall. The path ahead will be a hard one, Ben. But once you are finished, you will become a powerful Force user in your own right. Everything your old Order, your old, stagnated, self-righteous Order, denied you. Kneel.”
Ben did so.
“Do you swear,” Snoke said, and his voice became softer, deeper, “Your life to the First Order, and the Empire it shall create?”
“I swear.” Forever. He could only hope that Snoke heard it, but judging from the light that came into Snoke’s eyes, he no doubt already did.
“Do you swear your loyalty to me until death rips you from my service?”
“I do, and beyond that, Supreme Leader.”
Snoke smiled. In the darkness, to an outsider’s perspective, he would have appeared almost sinister, frightening. But Ben Solo, or the man who had been Ben Solo, was not afraid.
“Do you promise me your defense, your loyalty, your devotion?”
“It is yours.”
A hand stroked the side of his neck. “Then to you, I entrust the defense of my Order, and the Knights who have followed you thus far. You will serve as my right hand. You will be my eyes, my ears, my right arm.”
Silence reigned. Then Snoke spoke again. It was a question, testing his loyalty once more, one last time.
“Do you grieve, my Knight?”
“No.” It was a lie, of course, but grief was not one of those emotions that Ben could ever afford.
“Do not grieve, Ben.” A hand caressed his cheek. “My apprentice. My right hand. Never doubt what you have done.”
“Master...”
“The moment you were born, Ben,” and here, the Supreme Leader’s voice became soft, “You were perfect. You’re still in training, but of all of those I have trained, you have gone beyond my expectations. I only want you to continue that.”
“Yes. I will...”
“Will you stand with me, my Knight?”
“I shall, my Leader. I am not afraid.”
“As well you should not be. Is there a name you wish to choose for yourself?”
There were so many Sith names that Ben doubted he could ever live up to. Vader, Revan, Sion...Vader most of all. He was not Sith, Snoke said as much, but he still had large shoes to fill. That much was too obvious. When one was part of a first new Order, it just made things worse.
And then he remembered. Something that Snoke had once called him, back in his Yana persona. Kylo. Victor. He could only hope he would be a victor, but it seemed appropriate to adopt. This, in the end, was who he really was.
“Kylo,” said Ben. “Kylo Ren.”
Snoke smiled. “A noble name. It suits you. And those who follow you shall be known as the Knights of Ren. Wherever you go, you will be known as the defenders of our Order, and those who shall succeed where the Empire failed. Your deeds will echo in the annals of this galaxy and beyond.”
“I am honored, Supreme Leader.”
“And I am honored to have you. My apprentice. My Knight.” There was the sort of reverence in there as if Ben -- Kylo Ren -- was something indescribably precious to him. And that was what mattered the most. Not the matter of the faces on the battlefield, or every event that came before, but the fact that he served the First Order, that he was better than the pathetic creature that he had been before.
I am Kylo Ren.
And you...
In his mind, any restrictions that Luke had forced him to put on himself, like chains and ropes binding him, tried to rise up, to pull him back, to make him a “good” Jedi again, but Kylo Ren crushed them beneath his bootheel.
You are nothing.
***
In the throne room, Snoke could say that ultimately convincing Ben Solo -- now Kylo Ren -- had been a success.
Skywalker had tried to intervene, of course. Use his silver-tongued manipulations to break Ren’s spirit again, as he had done to his father before him. But Ren was not so easily fooled, so easily broken. Vader had been brilliant, but he had underestimated his own weaknesses that had left him pliable to manipulation at his son’s hands. Ren’s will, on the other hand, was iron, and could not be so easily broken by sentiment.
Yes, Skywalker. You tried, you struggled, you battled for his soul, but he is not yours. He is not the Light’s. He is part of something so much more, something greater.
In the darkness of his throne room, Snoke smiled, a sort that for the Supreme Leader of the First Order, was genuine.
Ren was his Knight. And even after he passed into the nothingness that Dark Siders associated with death, he would continue to be.