(no subject)
Title: From Hell's Heart
Summary: Khan's thoughts as he dies.
Warnings: Um, trying to get Khan's voice, for one thing. Also, possible spoilers for those who haven't seen Wrath of Khan (or read the tie-ins). Working with tie-in material as best I can. And angst. (Hopefully not overdone angst)
Author's Notes: Mostly wrote this if only to cope with some of my Khan-related emotions (mostly in regards to...even though he sort of gave me nightmares regarding his actions during the film, I also feel pretty bad for him) long after watching Wrath of Khan. First Star Trek related fic taking place during the original movies. Hope I at least got this right.
Also semi-inspired by the video that SF Debris did on Wrath of Khan. For those who haven't seen the video...well, it's split up into several parts. Just go here, and (assuming that Blip works as it should) it'll take it from there. It's well worth it, trust me. :) But mostly decided to incorporate some of the references to the literary allusions in the video in question, if only because they say volumes about Khan and who he is. So yeah -- definite thanks to SF Debris for getting me into Wrath of Khan in the first place, and giving me some ideas regarding Khan's characterization.
It was something that he should have seen coming long ago. After all, he had been all too familiar with the story of Moby Dick. During his exile on Ceti Alpha V, he had had time to read the best of classic literature, to entertain himself in the long stretches of time with the game of chess -- it had been a comfortable exile, at least of a sort. A quite humiliating exile at least in hindsight, but comfortable, nonetheless. He had been too familiar with the story of Captain Ahab and the great white whale that had bit off his leg, leaving him with a vengeance to be sated. A vengeance that had proved to be his undoing in the end.
And here he was, on the bridge of the Reliant, a damaged, dying ship, that Khan's end was already approaching. The price of his obsession with finding Kirk -- finding the man who had cast him out, and thus defeating him.
It wasn't even the fact that -- and though it galled Khan to think of it, it was the truth -- Admiral Kirk had left him on Ceti Alpha V. No, it was the fact that he had gone gallivanting across the galaxy, never bothering to check up on the progress of those he had imprisoned. Those he had cast down as God had cast Satan down to the depths of hell, so long ago. Striding across the universe like a giant, into places where no man had supposedly gone before, all the while never noticing Khan and his followers, crouched and broken at his feet.
And so it had come to pass that Ceti Alpha VI perished. That Khan's wife, Marla McGivers, had died -- his enemies had planted the Ceti eels in her ear if only to turn her against Khan. That Khan's followers, several of them, had died.
And then there was Joachim. The man who was like Khan's son -- raised long after his parents had died defending Khan in battle. The man who had been his right hand -- if Khan was indeed Ahab and Kirk the whale, then Joachim was Starbuck, ever supportive, yet ever seeking to stop him, at least, from the most irrational of decisions. At least sometimes. And other times, to keep him going.
And it was easy, in Khan's experience, if only to love him as his own. To care for him. It was the best he could do, at least, for those who had given their lives for him. All of them -- they were more than simply followers. They were his people. His crew. And it was the least he could do for those who had been members of his family, at least of sorts. It was the least he could do for two of the most loyal of this almost family -- those who had served him so faithfully and given him so much.
And Joachim had now died. The best Khan could do was avenge Joachim -- to make those who had killed him suffer for what they had done.
The voice of Lieutenant Uhura of the USS Enterprise echoed over the intercom. "...surrender and prepare to be boarded. Enterprise to Reliant, you are ordered to surrender your vessel. Respond. ...Reliant! Come in, Reliant. You are ordered to surrender your vessel."
Again and again. Awaiting his response. As if he, Khan Noonien Singh, last of a deceased crew, would ever surrender to the crew of the Enterprise. Perhaps some would call it best -- perhaps some, at least, would say that his race had been finally run. That perhaps surrender was the best tactic --
No.
He had had enough humiliation by Admiral Kirk to last a lifetime. The man had mocked him and overlooked him and broken him and taken everything he had ever loved...but no more.
"No, Kirk." It almost hurt to speak. Beaten, in pain, the smell of scorched flesh strong in his nostrils, Khan stumbled towards the Genesis device. "The game's not over. To the last...I grapple with thee..."
That line from Moby Dick. The story of the vengeful captain and the whale that had bested him. Kirk was that whale, that great white whale so named Moby Dick. The man who had wounded him, humiliated him, left him on Ceti Alpha V in exile, left Khan's followers to slavery and torment and death, while he traveled the stars, scarcely noticing the suffering of those he left behind. Scarcely noticing the deaths of Khan's followers in battle, or at the hands of the Ceti eels, or the death of Khan's wife at the hands of his enemies that sought to hurt him -- the deaths of so many that Kirk had been, in a sense, responsible for, and had abandoned so completely.
Using the Genesis device to destroy Kirk, once and for all, was only right. Even watching the detonation countdown on the screen, something in Khan bristled with the anticipation of destroying the Admiral of the Enterprise. To have his final revenge. He would kill Kirk, the treacherous Admiral that had cost him so many things close to him...he would do this...but --
Wait.
It could not be. The Enterprise, getting away -- barely getting away from the Genesis explosion once it had finally gone off. Still, they would not be able to make it. They could not outrun Genesis forever.
And even if they did...one of them would no doubt have to die to save the crew. It was the way of things. Everything had its time, and everything ended. It had been something that Khan had found difficult to escape -- the fact that, in the end, everything he loved perished in the end. The lushness of Ceti Alpha V. The woman he had loved, and who loved him. His second in command, the child he might have known. The deaths of his followers. This, all of this...none of it was anything he was able to accept.
And yet for Kirk...the last thing Khan could do before he met his end was at least give Kirk a final taste of pain. A final taste of the pain he had wrought for Khan. That...that, in the end, was the best he could accomplish.
"From hell's heart...I stab at thee. For hate's sake..." Khan could barely speak for the pain. "I spit my last breath at thee."
And it was there, on the bridge of the Reliant, defeated and in pain and utterly alone, that Khan Noonien Singh fell forward onto the bridge. Blackness took him, and the rest...the rest was silence.